Coming Soon: Brando Plays Marvin Demoff

Most men can only joke that in a movie about their lives, they will be played by Tom Cruise.

For football agent Leigh Steinberg, it is reality.

Cruise will play Steinberg in “Jerry Maguire,” a romantic comedy about the life of a sports agent.

The movie, in production, is based on observations of Steinberg by director and screenwriter Cameron Crowe, who followed Steinberg for two years.

Steinberg, a Newport Beach agent who represents many of the top NFL players, is serving as a technical consultant in the movie, and plays a small role.

The star athlete in the movie will be played by Cuba Gooding Jr.

“The Raiders might be looking at some of our free-agent quarterbacks,” Steinberg said. “If that happens, part of the movie deal is, we get to send Tom Cruise in to negotiate with Al Davis.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL’s single-game scoring record?

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Good riddance: From the Seattle Times’ editorial page:

“How tempting it would be for Northwesterners today to stand with arms high in the air in one giant wave, cheering goodbye and good riddance to Seattle Seahawks’ owner Ken Behring and his team.

“Hold the hurrahs. Northwesterners have to look beyond their anger with this duplicitous, dishonest businessman to see the larger value of having an NFL team in this multi-state region.

“Everyone from Montana to Alaska, everyone except Behring that is, knows the Seahawks belong to this community.”

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Name game: Suggested nicknames for the Nashville Whatevers (nee Houston Oilers) keep pouring in to Morning Briefing.

The latest, from Bob Brigham of Manhattan Beach: The Tennessee Conscripts.

Explains Brigham: “This could be shortened to Cons. And since all their opponents are pros, each game would be between pros and Cons.”

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Add name game: The finalists in the name change of the NBA’s Washington Bullets weren’t necessarily the most popular, the club points out.

The finalists: Sea Dogs, Stallions, Express, Wizards and Dragons.

Three other suggestions--Cobras, Fury and Monuments--had to be rejected because of possible trademark infringement.

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Larry’s luck: The Baltimore Sun’s Vito Stellino writes that the Super Bowl’s big free-agency loser was Pittsburgh quarterback Neil O’Donnell.

“O’Donnell was hoping to get a deal worth $4 million a year before he started playing catch with Larry Brown,” Stellino wrote.

Meanwhile, Brown stands to make millions more.

His agent, Scott Casterline, is predicting that the Dallas defensive back will get a raise from $500,000 to more than $2.5 million.

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Add new deals: Kevin Mitchell’s agent made this proposal to the Cincinnati Reds: Pay Mitchell the minimum wage in base salary, $109,000--and then $10,000 per plate appearance.

If Mitchell had 500 plate appearances, he would earn $5 million. Cincinnati General Manager Jim Bowden isn’t receptive to the idea.

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Blocking back: The Hartford Courant’s Alan Greenberg, on Magic Johnson’s 30-pound weight gain: “Magic was never svelte, but now he’s almost big enough to block for Troy Aikman.”

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Bird’s bite: Former Celtic Larry Bird, on the play of Boston’s Dee Brown:

“I’m not too happy with Dee right now. He’s the leader of the team, and he wants to be traded.

“He’s getting paid a lot of money [$3.1 million this season] to do what he does. He’s been inconsistent. Some nights he comes to play, some nights he doesn’t.

“When Reggie [Lewis] left us a couple of years ago, I thought Brown was going to step it up. When he didn’t, I knew he wasn’t going to be any better than he already was.”

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Trivia answer: Ernie Nevers, 40 points in 1929.

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Quotebook: Massachusetts forward Donta Bright, talking about the aggressiveness of his basketball team: “Come watch our practices. We play football at practice. Everyone plays hard.”