Look Who’s Jumping Now, and Not to Conclusions

Four guys are in a bar.

The slam-dunk contest from the NBA All-Star game is on TV. Brent Barry of the Clippers is winning.

First guy: “Brent Barry of the Clippers is winning.”

Second guy: “So?”

First guy: “You don’t find anything weird with that?”

Second guy: “What?”

Third guy: “I do.”

Fourth guy: “Me too.”

Second guy: “What?”

First guy: “Are you blind?”

Third guy: “Open your eyes!”

Fourth guy: “Take a good look.”

Second guy: “I’m looking.”

First guy: “It’s Brent Barry.”

Second guy: “So?”

Third guy: “Notice anything?”

Fourth guy: “Take your time.”

Second guy: “What?”

First guy: “Here’s a hint. There’s something different about him.”

Third guy: “He’s. . .”

Second guy: “What?”

Fourth guy: “The guy is. . .”

Second guy: “WHAT???”

First guy: “He’s a Clipper!”

Third guy: “Incredible.”

Fourth guy: “Unbelievable.”

Second guy: “So?”

First guy: “What do you mean, ‘So?’ ”

Second guy: “So, he’s a Clipper.”

Third guy: “I’m worried about you.”

Fourth guy: “Get your eyes examined.”

Second guy: “What am I missing?”

First guy: “It’s a dunk contest.”

Third guy: “And he’s winning.”

Fourth guy: “A Clipper is winning.”

Second guy: “So?”

First guy: “It ain’t something you see every day.”

Third guy: “A Clipper dunking.”

Fourth guy: “A Clipper winning.”

Second guy: “I’ve seen guys like him win.”

First guy: “When?”

Second guy: “Yes, win.”

Other three: “No, when?”

Second guy: “Uh, lots of times.”

First guy: “We’re talking about a Clipper winning a championship.”

Third guy: “Not a game.”

Fourth guy: “Not a series.”

First guy: “A championship.”

Second guy: “OK, I see your point.”

First guy: “Good. Have a drink.”

Second guy: “Actually, I’m relieved.”

Third guy: “Relieved?”

Fourth guy: “About what?”

Second guy: “For a while, I thought you were talking about something else.”

Third guy: “Something else?”

Fourth guy: “About Brent Barry.”

Second guy: “Well, yeah.”

First guy: “I don’t get you.”

Second guy: “Well, the fact that he’s. . .”

Third guy: “Yeah?”

Fourth guy: “What?”

First guy: “Skinny?”

Second guy: “No.”

Third guy: “A rookie?”

Second guy: “Not that.”

Fourth guy: “Rick’s son?”

Second guy: “No. He’s. . .”

Other three: “What?”

Second guy: “Well, he’s white.”

First guy: “Oh, that.”

Third guy: “So?”

Fourth guy: “What’s your point?”

Second guy: “White guys can’t jump.”

First guy: “Who says?”

Third guy: “I can jump.”

Fourth guy: “Yeah. You jump as soon as they bring the check.”

First guy: “White guys jump fine.”

Second guy: “Larry Bird?”

Third guy: “Well . . .”

Second guy: “Bill Laimbeer?”

Fourth guy: “Uh . . .”

Second guy: “Laimbeer couldn’t jump over an ant.”

First guy: “Big deal.”

Third guy: “Who cares?”

Fourth guy: “Bunch of bull.”

Second guy: “I’m just saying . . .”

First guy: “You got some nerve.”

Third guy: “Where do you get off?”

Fourth guy: “Check, please!”

Second guy: “Come on, guys.”

First guy: “We’re leaving.”

Third guy: “Who is this guy?”

Fourth guy: “Look, there goes Air Barry again!”

First guy: “Slam dunk!”

Third guy: “Man, can he get up!”

Fourth guy: “You know, I’ve seen plenty of white guys go that high.”

Second guy: “Like who?”

Fourth guy: “Jim Lovell, Neil Armstrong, John Glenn. . .”

First guy: “You tell him.”

Third guy: “Let’s get outta here.”

Second guy: “Fellas! Come back!”