NONFICTION - March 3, 1996

JUST BETWEEN US GIRLS, SECRETS ABOUT MEN: From the Madam Who Knows by Sydney Biddle Barrows (St. Martins: $20.95; 272 pp.). Instead of being informative, reading Sydney Biddle Barrows’ advice to women put me in a self-righteous snit. “This is so sexist,” I thought, rolling my eyes. “She seems to be telling women to take care of the kids all day and then become high-heeled, merry widowed, sexual dynamos all night.”

And what about men? Barrows writes as if they are somewhere between amoebas and mollusks on the evolutionary scale and all they need is a little “skillful manipulation.” A few days later, I was having coffee with a friend who was concerned about her lackluster marriage. “I just read something perfect,” I said, suddenly launching into one of Barrows’ more graphic methods of pleasuring your man.

Much of the sexual and relationship advice in “Just Between Us Girls” is obvious and overly simplistic. Much of it is also helpful and true.