Norman’s Fold Way Too Painful for Aussie Paper

The press in Greg Norman’s native Australia was sympathetic to his collapse in the final round of the Masters. A sample from Sydney’s Daily Telegraph:

“A tortured genius falls on his sword. God, but this was painful to watch. A man bled to death on a golf course. Right in front of us.

“The life leaked right out of Greg Norman. And if you took any pleasure at all in witnessing this, then your heart is as hard as a tombstone.”

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Trivia time: Who is the oldest player in the major leagues?

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Without a clue: Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated on Norman: “After blowing more leads than Inspector Clouseau . . . “ That was written in 1986.

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Minor matters: The Oakland Athletics played in a minor league park in Las Vegas during the first week of the season. It wasn’t unprecedented.

The San Francisco Giants played in Seal Stadium, a minor league facility, for two full seasons--1958 and 1959. Moreover, the Angels played at Wrigley Field in 1961, former home of the Pacific Coast League Los Angeles Angels.

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Allergic: Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News: “The Boston Red Sox field the ball as if it contains mad cow samples.”

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Say what? Michigan running back Tim Biakabutuka, who is expected to be a first-round NFL draft choice, when asked what he will do with all the money he’s going to get:

“You don’t sell the bearskin without killing the bear first.”

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Translation: He hasn’t been drafted yet, much less paid anything.

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Drill job: The Texas Rangers recently accused Kirk McCaskill of the Chicago White Sox of scuffing the ball. Said Ranger Manager Johnny Oates: “Black and Decker would have been proud of it.”

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Comedy club: Video evidence was sought when a disciplinary hearing investigated the ejection of Edmundo, the bad boy of Brazilian soccer, after he had hit a Santos defender in the face.

His club, Corinthians, said that a tape of the incident would exonerate him. Then the club took the wrong tape to the hearing. Instead of watching the game, the committee saw the adventures of the cartoon dog Scooby Doo.

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Opportunist: New Jersey Net forward Jayson Williams, on teammate Kevin Edwards’ extended and somewhat dubious injury absence; “He is like one of those guys who, when a bus crashes, gets on to get the insurance money.”

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Staying power: David Letterman on the Mike Tyson nightclub incident: “The woman is claiming now that she struggled with Tyson for 10 minutes. That’s amazing, when you think about it. She lasted nine minutes longer than Peter McNeeley.”

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Trivia answer: Pitcher Rick Honeycutt, 41, of the St. Louis Cardinals, who was born on June 29, 1954.

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And finally: Peter May in the Boston Globe on NBA players attacking referees: “[The referees’] attorney, the inimitable Fred Slaughter, has proposed a ‘no-run’ rule, which would mean an automatic technical for a player and a three-game suspension and a $50,000 fine if he even approaches a referee.”