Out of the Shadows : For Younger Siblings, Emotional Battle Can Be as Difficult as Physical Challenge

Jealousy, insecurity, fear, pressure. These are the demons in the closets of athletes who not only must battle an opponent, but also the legacy of an older brother or sister.

The story is familiar: Star athlete goes through school, followed by the younger sibling. Everyone--coaches, fans, players, media--expect the younger athlete to display the skills of the older one, the big man on campus.

Josh Walz, Jamal Footman, Austin Guyness . . .

It’s unfair, but it’s human nature.

“Most of the time siblings tend to develop different interests, almost instinctively, as though they don’t want to compete with an older brother or sister,” says Lucy Jo Palladino, a sports psychologist from Encinitas. “There’s almost a natural pecking order where the older child exercises more authority, so younger children tend to choose different interests because they choose to be treated as individuals.”

And sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, older siblings throw down the gauntlet and the younger children rise to meet the challenge--or try.

Martin Brix, Matt Blasdel, Jessica Dahlberg, Tracy Lindquist . . .

In an age when more parents see athletic scholarships as the way to ensure a college education for their children, competition has become more cutthroat in high school sports. Schools whose athletic programs function as a means to a well-rounded education--providing opportunities for children to participate in athletics and learn teamwork and sportsmanship in after school sports--are increasingly rare.

Now, everyone is out for themselves. And if one child can do it, the other one can too.

Right?

Robby Arroyo, Debbie Tomoguchi, Aaron Pugmire, Tony Milo . . .

“Journals would predict that the younger child would have more difficulty,” Palladino said. “Most studies strongly suggest parents treat their children as individuals; any situation where there’s a direct comparison is a situation where the younger child is at risk.”

But it doesn’t stop with the family. A coach, teammate, teacher, friend who makes that comparison with the older child can affect the self-esteem of the younger.

Ted Norman, Paige and Kelsey Kollen, Joe Paloney . . .

“At risk is the self-esteem--for putting in a full effort but not getting a full return for that effort because [the younger sibling’s] not comparing himself to his own standards but that of his older sibling,” Palladino said. “And he’ll never do better in childhood because his sibling will constantly be doing better; the more he improves, the more the older sibling improves.”

The emotional battle the younger child fights can be as difficult as the physical challenge to improve.

“Sometimes there’s a natural endowment in a particular sport, and they wind up in the same sport, but because the older child would already be established, jealousy is probably the major drawback,” Palladino said. “You need to be able to concentrate, and jealousy adversely affects concentration. The more a sport requires concentration, the more the distraction is a disadvantage.”

Which makes it pretty tough on a younger child trying to meet expectations within his family. A failing won’t necessarily be overlooked at the dinner table, and it won’t necessarily be forgotten three years later when a similar instance happens again, i.e., “Remember the day Bobby struck out three times?”

Ember Crouch, Ike Harmon, Heather Garritson . . .

EMBER CROUCH

Marcy Crouch didn’t strike out often. In fact, she rarely failed. Few athletes in Orange County experienced more success than the Marina standout, who was a member of five Southern Section championship teams--three in soccer and two in softball. Four times, twice in each sport, she was named the section’s player of the year.

Marcy pitched her age-group team to the American Softball Assn. national championship when she was 12 and ultimately earned a scholarship to play softball at Stanford. She has already established herself as a team leader for the Cardinal. Three weeks ago, she became the first player to homer over the fence at St. Mary’s.

That’s whose shadow Ember Crouch stood in as a 12-year-old.

So she quit softball.

Forget that she was one of the better pitchers in her age group, or that her father, Cary, was a well-respected softball coach at Laguna Hills High.

“More power to her,” Cary Crouch said. “She had the guts to tell Dad she didn’t want to do it.”

Ember Crouch, 15, a freshman at Marina, said her decision (“It was really scary”) didn’t come without a price, however.

“He was really mad--I think he was really disappointed,” she said. “I was a pitcher and I guess I was pretty good, and he wanted me to keep on going. He’s more into baseball and softball than he is soccer, because he grew up with baseball. And because Marcy did so well, he wanted me to be like her, I guess.

“That’s the reason I quit softball. My dad put a lot of pressure on Marcy and she could handle it and I couldn’t.

“For a while it affected our relationship.

“Afterward, we weren’t together as much,” Ember said. “It was weird talking to him about anything having to do with softball. We just kind of avoided the subject.”

According to Cary Crouch, the two 12-and-under age-group teams that finished 1-2 in nationals wanted Ember to pitch for them, and she likely would have been the No. 2 pitcher on both teams. That’s how good she was.

“I enjoyed working with my own kids pitching and spent a lot of time with them, and all of a sudden she was very good and she was gone,” Cary said. “It was tough.”

Ember did play recreational softball a year later, in seventh grade--at about the time Marcy-mania was heating up in high school--but knew she wouldn’t compete once she got to Marina. Marcy had won her second soccer title and had been the Southern Section’s player of the year in softball as a junior.

“I would have to live up to her,” Ember said, “and I didn’t want to compete with that image.”

Marcy’s legacy hasn’t been nearly as difficult to live up to in high school, Ember says, because she’s not playing softball. And having a new soccer coach at Marina created a buffer against expectations because he didn’t know Marcy.

But having a new coach also created disadvantages. Ember didn’t join the varsity soccer team until after the season began, and after a back injury in midseason, she didn’t play much even though she was available.

The real advantage for her is socially.

“Everyone knows your name, your face, like, ‘Oh, you’re Marcy’s little sister,” Ember said. “It’s always good when people already know you. Everyone has a good attitude about Marcy, everyone likes her, so they’re automatically nice to you.

“Everyone acknowledges that I’m Marcy’s sister, but they know me as Ember.”

Camy, the oldest Crouch daughter, was quickly overshadowed by Marcy but still won seven varsity letters in three sports and was voted best athlete by her 1993 senior class. There is one more Crouch headed to Marina. When Ember is a junior, Brooke will be a freshman. She plays softball and soccer.

IKE HARMON

Thomas Harmon isn’t nearly the name his younger brother is, but he was one of the first big men on campus at Century High.

He was a four-year varsity player, averaging 18 points on a 23-5 team ranked seventh in Orange County his senior season.

“Nobody got more out of his ability than Thomas,” Century Coach Greg Coombs said. “He’s my all-time favorite.”

Thomas was an impact player--at school and on Ike, who was a sophomore at the time.

“He was older, more experienced--he was good--but he wanted me to play at the same level,” Ike said. “But it was hard because he had two years on me. I feel he made it harder on me. I had some big shoes to fill. I was only going to be a junior but I had to keep the name going.

“My family, my coaches, they said, ‘We hope you come back as good as your brother.’ There were a lot of expectations from a lot of people, comparing me to him. It was frustrating as a sophomore [being on the same team]; if I didn’t play so good, I always had in the back of my mind, ‘My brother didn’t play like that.’ ”

Ike didn’t stay at Century long. After Thomas graduated, Ike transferred to Santa Ana Valley. And he used the comparison to his brother to motivate himself to improve.

He averaged 13.9 points and 6.1 rebounds as a junior, and 22.5 points and 11.2 rebounds as a senior while shooting 70.3% from the field--totals that ranked third, first and first in the county. A 6-foot-6 small forward like his brother (who is three inches shorter), he could easily lay claim as the county’s player of the year. Over the weekend, he stole the show in the Orange County all-star game with 30 points, 10 rebounds, three steals, three blocks and two assists.

All of which makes Thomas Harmon, who is studying in Norfolk, Va., to become an electrical engineer, very proud.

“He would call me on the phone and say, ‘It’s hard playing under your name,’ ” Thomas said by phone. “I told him to go out and do your best every night and play some ball. And if you’re better than me, show it.

“Look where he’s at today.”

Today, Ike is trying to score well enough on the Scholastic Assessment Test so that he doesn’t enter college as a Proposition 48 student. He signed a letter of intent last week with Cal State Fullerton. It’s not big-time college basketball, but it is Division I, which is more than Thomas got.

Thomas Harmon graduated in 1994, a Times Orange County first-team player. He attended Southern California College on a scholarship and sat out as a redshirt freshman before transferring to Norfolk State, a Division II school. He has since enrolled at ITT Technical Institute, a vocational school.

“When Ike first came to Valley his junior year, it was evident that he respected his brother and took some of his leads from what his brother had done, or not been able to do,” Santa Ana Valley Coach Kevin Stipp said. “He tried not to repeat those mistakes--he didn’t want to put himself in the position of having to settle for a JC or small school.”

Basically, Ike wanted to put up the kind of numbers in an environment in which college recruiters couldn’t ignore him.

Responded Ike: “That’s exactly it.”

When Ike transferred, he said transportation--Thomas was his ride--was the reason. That’s partially true.

“Valley was closer to home, but it did have a higher profile,” he said. “Even if I didn’t go to Valley, I would have gone to another school.”

Ike said the comparisons to Thomas didn’t stop when he transferred. Ultimately, Harmon says he’s a better person for playing under the specter of Thomas.

“I didn’t like the comparisons at all--everybody knew I was two years younger and he was the star of the team,” Ike said. “It was fans, family, people at school, teachers. . . . everyone was asking me, ‘Who was better? Why is he so good and you’re not?’

“I’m better for it. I know how to overlook things and stay focused. Whenever someone compares me with someone now, it’s like, ‘Yeah, whatever.’

“And then I go out and try to prove them wrong.”

HEATHER GARRITSON

The Garritson name is synonymous with running. The family appeared on The Phil Donahue Show in 1988 after Carrie Garritson posted an Olympic qualifying time in the L.A. Marathon. She was 11.

She led women competitors the first 12 miles, and since then, it has been one victory after another. Carrie is one of only three girls to qualify all four years for what is now the Foot Locker National Cross-Country Championships. She won two state cross-country titles, as a freshman and senior, and would have won her junior year had she not transferred schools--from Sunny Hills to Buena Park--and been ruled ineligible.

She also set a county track record in the 3,200 meters, and won the Division II and Masters Meet as a senior.

Carrie, a sophomore at Alabama, is the second of 14 children (nearly all runners). Heather, 15, is the fourth, the second daughter, a sophomore at Buena Park tracing the path of a running machine.

“It’s a very difficult thing to have to live up to, living up to the name of your older sibling,” Heather said. “Every race, you have to ask yourself, ‘Was that good enough for myself and for other people--my father, my older sister, coaches from colleges, coaches from other high schools?’

“After every race, I think to myself, ‘Is that good enough for my older sister, would she be proud of that?’

“It’s a whole circle of people whose expectations I have to live up to so that I don’t wreck the family name.”

The family name is a blessing and curse.

“When people say the name Garritson, the people who know running recognize the name,” Heather said. “You have to respect that. You can’t go off and act like a snot. You can’t tarnish the Garritson name. There’s something to live up to there.”

She has done a nice job so far. Heather won six consecutive AAU age-group Junior Olympic national championships, just like her sister. And she won the state high school cross-country championship as a freshman and qualified for the Foot Locker Nationals, just as her sister did in 1990. In track, she won a section title at 3,200 meters--something her sister didn’t do until her senior season.

But by her own standards, Heather’s cross-country performance as a sophomore was disappointing, “hideous,” she called it. She struggled with bronchitis last summer, then wrestled with the death of her grandfather, which left her “shattered.” Still, she was ranked among the top five nationally, and finished 10th in the Foot Locker Western Regional; she missed qualifying for the national by two places, meaning she would never match her sister’s four straight national appearances in that prestigious event.

“I’ve said it all along, that Heather has more natural ability than Carrie,” said Michael Garritson, their father and running coach. “Will she achieve as much? She has a chance. But Heather’s not a hard worker. Carrie was a hard worker and earned everything she got.

“If I could get Heather to train hard twice a week, I think she would improve even more. I’m lucky to get one good workout a week from her.”

Michael Garritson doesn’t mince words when he talks about running. And most people who see him are left with the same impression.

“My father, people have given him the image of being very demanding,” Heather said. “He demands what he knows I can give.”

Heather says although she works hard in practice, it’s just not evident the way it was with Carrie. She isn’t Carrie, even though she wants a lot of the same things.

“Whenever I saw interviewers come up to Carrie, I thought, ‘How neat,’ ” Heather said. “I wanted to be able to go to Foot Locker. I wanted to get all the awards and prestige she got, to be considered a little bit famous in running circles.

“Yes I was jealous. I guess you could say I’m still jealous. . . . If you don’t perform to your abilities, people look down to you. I’m jealous of what she’s been able to accomplish, but I have two more years to accomplish what she has.”

And Carrie Garritson’s little sister lives with a constant struggle: “The fear of not being able to live up to the expectations people have already set for me.

“It wasn’t until this year people figured out I had a first name.”