The Truth? Garofalo Saves ‘Cats’

Two things are quickly apparent in Michael Lehmann’s “The Truth About Cats & Dogs.” Nothing about the story, in which a popular radio personality falls in love with a man who thinks she is someone else, is going to be believable. And Janeane Garofalo, who plays that personality, is so much fun, you aren’t going to care.

Garofalo, the pesky talent booker on HBO’s hip “The Larry Sanders Show,” is whom Richard Benjamin might wish he’d had when he was shooting “Mrs. Winterbourne,” which opened last week. The central character in both films is a woman with low self-esteem trying to extricate herself from a convenient lie. But Benjamin was stuck with Ricki Lake, and a decent idea went wanting.

“The Truth About Cats & Dogs” operates from a script, written by former San Francisco jazz deejay Audrey Wells, that is rife with implausible plot twists, ridiculous characters and bonehead logic a dog wouldn’t chase. And there are scenes--a simultaneous climax to a game of phone sex comes to mind--that makes you want to hide under your seat.

But Garofalo even overcomes that scene, with some hysterical antics that let us know she’s as embarrassed to be doing it as we are to be watching.

Garofalo plays radio deejay Abby Barnes, an expert in animal behavior who parcels advice to frustrated call-in pet owners. Got a dog who fouled your bed while you were away? Relax, Abby says, it’s just his way of letting you know how he feels about being left alone.

Got a Great Dane freaked out because you put him on roller skates and are trying to take his picture? Get down on all fours, inch forward without making eye contact, gently massage the acupressure points on the tips of his ears, and get ready for the face wash of your life.

This last exchange marks the beginning of Abby’s strange romance with the Great Dane’s best friend Brian (Ben Chaplin). He is so moved by her wisdom that he asks her for a date; she’s so certain he’ll be disappointed, she describes herself in the image of the slinky model (Uma Thurman) who lives next door.

Soon, Brian is pursuing Thurman’s Noelle, even though she’s dumber than corn flakes, and treating the real Abby like a third wheel, even though everything about her--her voice, her intelligence, her wit, the way his dog makes eye contact with her, the way her smile lights up a room--says she’s the one!

Garofalo, whom you might remember as Randy Quaid’s feminist-from-hell blind date in “Bye Bye Love,” operates with a confidence that belies her character’s bad self-image. She’s short, maybe 5 feet tall, and has to stand on her toes to see over Thurman’s breasts. But for men who actually think with their brains, it’s no contest.

The premise is lost in the opening minutes when we are asked to believe that a radio personality as smart as Abby would accept a blind date with a random caller--in Los Angeles!--then pass the opportunity along to a neighbor she doesn’t even know.

Lehmann, whose career started hot with the 1988 independent film “Heathers” and turned cold with a string of major-studio flops (“Hudson Hawk” being the most inexcusable), plays this goofy charade as if we’d all signed off on it in advance, took an oath at the door to accept the adorable Garofalo as an ugly duckling, the introspective Thurman as a scatterbrain, and Chaplin as a guy with a heart of gold and a tin ear.

In a way, we do sign off on it. Chaplin, a British television and theater actor, is stuck deadpanning revelations that audiences may accompany with a chorus or two of “Duhs.” Brian and Noelle deserve each other! But from the moment we meet Abby, whimsically soothing her callers, we’re turned into lap dogs, ready to follow her--ready to follow Garofalo--anywhere.

* MPAA rating: PG-13, for a sex-related scene and brief strong language. Times guidelines: A graphic phone sex scene will make even voyeurs uncomfortable.

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‘The Truth About Cats & Dogs’

Uma Thurman: Noelle

Janeane Garofalo: Abby

Ben Chaplin: Brian

Jamie Foxx: Ed

James McCaffrey: Roy

A Noon Attack Production, released by 20th Century Fox. Directed by Michael Lehmann. Producer Cari-Esta Albert. Screenplay Audrey Wells. Cinematography Robert Brinkmann. Production designer Sharon Seymour. Editor Stephen Semel. Music Howard Shore. Costumes Bridget Kelly. Art director Jeff Knipp. Set decorator Maggie Martin. Running time: 1 hour, 37 minutes.

* In general release throughout Southern California.