An unexpectedly rocky experience:The Times carried an...

An unexpectedly rocky experience:

The Times carried an obituary the other day on Thomas Clements, a geologist and author who died at 97. He was our geology professor at USC in the early 1960s, and we’ve always remembered him for a trick he pulled on the final exam.

During the semester, he had assigned the class of mostly freshman to meet him at Griffith Park for a field trip. Several students, aware that he didn’t take roll, were no-shows. These teenagers figured they would outsmart the 60-ish professor by borrowing the notes of those who did attend.

It annoyed us when we realized we hadn’t thought of that stratagem.

At least it annoyed us until we took the final exam, which contained a 10-part section on the field trip.

It was deceptively simple. Clements merely asked the students to tick off the 10 sites they had seen--in the order in which the class had visited them.

HOW’S THAT AGAIN? David Cary and Jennifer Patrick each spotted a sign at Cal State Northridge which, as Cary points out, misspeaks for itself (see photo).

F. LEE BAILEY AND THE B-WORD: Author Paul Kirchner surveys the “goofs, blunders and botches, great and small,” in his new book, “Oops!” Here are some of local interest:

* Wham-O of San Gabriel, creator of the Hula-Hoop and the Frisbee, didn’t fare as well on another product. The company “took a quantity of mink remnants, punched out two-inch doughnut shapes and covered the backs with stick-em.” The concept: “Mink Stoles for the Belly Button.”

* In Las Vegas, Howard Hughes developed a passion for Baskin-Robbins’ banana nut ice cream. When the company discontinued the flavor, his panicky aides persuaded the plant in L.A. to make up a special batch. “The only catch,” Kirchner wrote, “was that they’d have to order 350 gallons.” The thankful aides trucked it back.

* “GQ magazine quoted former Marine and defense attorney F. Lee Bailey as saying, ‘On weekends I like to wear ballet shoes: They’re light and dressy,’ ” Kirchner wrote. “The quote was improperly transcribed; Bailey had actually said he favored Bally brand shoes.”

LIST OF THE DAY: Kirchner also notes that W.C. Fields had “a recurring nightmare of finding himself without money in a strange city” and consequently opened bank accounts around the nation. He used such pseudonyms as:

* Ludovic Fishpond

* Colmonley Frampton-Blythe

* Aristotle Hoop

* Elmer Mergetroid-Haines

* Figley E. Whitesides

Trouble was, the comic could “remember only 23 of the accounts” as he grew older. He died believing he had forgotten “at least 700” others, holding perhaps $1 million.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Marian Tanaka wonders how many vengeful wives or husbands would like the recipe for item No. 41 on one restaurant menu (see excerpt). Mrs. Mergetroid-Haines, perhaps.

miscelLAny

Angelenos were the cheapest tippers in a 14-city survey by Zagat restaurant guides, with only one out of four in L.A. admitting to leaving a 20% tip for good service. Philadelphia was No. 1, while New York finished 10th. A spokesman for the Big Apple, predictably, had an excuse: It isn’t New Yorkers who tip badly, but visitors to New York.