Tennis Is Served, as Are Pricey Concessions

Watching a big tennis event gives you what? A stiff neck? An appetite?

If watching tennis makes you hungry and you’re at the U.S. Open in New York, chances are it’s also going to make you a little lighter, at least in the wallet.

Chicken sandwiches are $8. Beer is $4.25. A footlong hot dog is $4. Caesar salad is $8.50, fruit salad $5.75 and a glass of wine $4.75.

Trivia time: How did the Dodgers acquire outfielder Todd Hollandsworth?

Boat is optional: Cue the disks. The world’s best players will compete in the 1996 International Shuffleboard Tournament Sept. 14-20 at Leisure World Laguna Hills.

Smoking expert: This is from New Jersey Devil Mike Peluso’s anti-smoking public service announcement for the American Cancer Society: “If a Devil tells you to stop smoking, you’d better do it.”

Quote me: Author Gary Fenchuck’s book of quotations, “Timeless Wisdom,” includes famous quotes from Socrates, Albert Einstein, Teddy Roosevelt . . . and Wayne Gretzky?

The Great One’s contribution: “Statistically, 100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.”

Spike it: Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune said he saw too much of the Nike TV ad featuring golfer Tiger Woods, but that it probably was in keeping with the company’s slogan: “Just Overdo It.”

Giant Yankee: Impress your friends with this one. Cecil Fielder is listed at 250 pounds, but he isn’t the heaviest Yankee of all time. That distinction belongs to Walter “Jumbo” Brown, a pitcher in the 1930s. He tipped the scales at 290 pounds.

Nonsense: After Yankee pitcher David Cone threw a no-hitter for seven innings in his first start in 114 days, the New York Post ran this headline: “Cone’s Comeback None for the Ages.”

Try the Lotto: Dante Bichette said Colorado Rocky teammate Ellis Burks should be the favorite to be the National League’s most valuable player in air-enhanced, baseball-flying Denver. Said Bichette: “We aren’t going to win any Cy Young Awards in Coors Field. Shouldn’t we be eligible to win something?”

Evolution: Syndicated columnist Norman Chad said the Dallas Cowboys have changed “from America’s Team to ‘America’s Most Wanted.’ ”

Trivia answer: In the 1991 free-agent draft, as part of the compensation for the Kansas City Royals’ signing of free agent Kirk Gibson.

Super: As the Super Bowl takes its first step past 30 with XXXI scheduled Jan. 26 in New Orleans, there must be many out there thinking about the sterling silver Lombardi Trophy. Well, it weighs seven pounds and is 22 inches tall. Now you know.

And finally: Miami Dolphin Coach Jimmy Johnson, in an NFL questionnaire, was asked the one thing he would change about pro football: “Have players play for fun and not for money.”

Notice he didn’t include coaches.