Irvin Is Back, but How ‘Bout Cowboys

Week 6 and the questions:

1. Now that Michael Irvin is back, will that make everything better in Dallas?

2. When will the NFL suspend Ram General Manager Steve Ortmayer’s credentials for making trades?

3. What’s the connection between Kansas City Coach Marty Schottenheimer and Pittsburgh Coach Bill Cowher?

4. What does a bye do for the Dolphins?

5. This week’s upset special?

And the answers:

1. After they found out who shot J.R., was everything just peachy keen? Pardner, Irvin’s return is just a mirage for the win-thirsty Cowboys, who still lack a healthy Jay Novacek at tight end, who still have grown too fat and too slow along the offensive line, who still can’t depend on an up-and-down Charles Haley and who have been sapped of all depth because of free agency. Deion Sanders has yet to prove he can be a legitimate No. 2 wide receiver, and running back Emmitt Smith is banged up. And Barry Switzer is still the coach.

Irvin’s return will make the Cowboys feel good--maybe even invincible--and when they resume play after a bye they will pound Arizona and Atlanta in consecutive home games. But the real “all is well” test will be given the following four weeks with games at Miami and San Francisco and home games with Philadelphia and Green Bay.

2. Ortmayer has excelled at times in locating talent, especially in the draft, but when it comes time for a trade involving offensive tackles, owner Georgia Frontiere would know better. When Ortmayer was the general manager in San Diego, he traded Jim Lachey, the best left tackle in the AFC, to the Raiders for tackle John Clay. Lachey went on to Washington--to play in a Super Bowl and two Pro Bowls--in a trade for Jay Schroeder, and that tells you something about Al Davis, Ort’s mentor with the Raiders. Clay failed his physical examination with the Chargers, and after recovering, started one game before ending his career.

Ort’s the guy who traded Sean Gilbert to Washington and Jerome Bettis to Pittsburgh and went for Steve Walsh at quarterback rather than re-sign Mark Rypien.

Ort was back at it this week, giving Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson something he has been searching for--a Jay Novacek-like tight end in Troy Drayton. The Rams got tackle Billy Milner, who was just a sub for Johnson in Miami. Word is, however, he passed his physical examination.

3. Obviously, it has nothing to do with Super Bowls, because Cowher has coached in one, while Schottenheimer has needed a ticket for each game. No, Schottenheimer gave Cowher his first coaching job as special teams coach for the Cleveland Browns. Cowher liked to race up and down the sideline, and Schottenheimer had one rule: “Don’t run me over.” Cowher obeyed, and was promoted to defensive coordinator in Kansas City when Schottenheimer moved there. Cowher has one regular-season victory over his former boss, and one playoff loss.

4. A bye makes the Dolphins all better. They are 7-0 after bye weekends, the NFL’s only perfect team following their week off. Of course, that was with Don Shula as coach.

5. Nothing outrageous this weekend because the temptation to select the Jets over the Raiders is being resisted. The Jets looked impressive on Sunday night, but were they playing over their heads to redeem themselves on national television? Can they bounce back from that loss? Yes, if they believe the officials cost them a victory for taking away Keyshawn Johnson’s touchdown catch.

But keep in mind they played Washington with run-stuffing linebacker Marvin Jones and top wide receivers Johnson and Jeff Graham, who will sit this one out because of knee injuries. Do they have enough quality players to upend the Raiders? Come on, are the Raiders that bad?

TV GAMES

* MUST WIN FOR WHITE

Oakland (1-4) at New York Jets (0-5), 10 a.m., Channel 4: Sure hope they have those TV cameras focused on Al Davis if the Jets post their first victory at the expense of the Raiders. The Jets have lost nine in a row, and will be without their two best defensive players, lineman Hugh Douglas and Jones. Coach Mike White, who has neither disciplined the Raiders nor designed a course for them to follow to the end zone, might soon get the Mike Shanahan treatment. Shanahan was fired after losing three consecutive games and going 8-12. Oakland has lost two in a row, and White is 9-12.

--Say what: Jeff Hostetler and Chester McGlockton for Mr. Fire Sale Jeff George. Hasn’t George almost cost them Anthony Smith, who walked off because he thought he was going to be traded for George, then returned?

--Player to watch: Raider running back Napoleon Kaufman, who doesn’t seem to have White’s confidence and who is playing on a sprained ankle, has gained 7.8 yards a rush, tops in the AFC.

--Finally: Less than a year ago the Raiders beat the Jets by 37 points. Has the gap between these teams shrunk that much?

* DEATH VALLEY

San Diego (4-1) at Denver (4-1), 1 p.m., Channel 4: The Broncos play in Mile High, but it has been Death Valley for the Chargers, who have lost 10 of 12 games in Denver against quarterback John Elway. Even so, Elway has thrown for only 23 touchdowns in 25 games against San Diego with 31 interceptions.

--Say what: San Diego kicker John Carney, otherwise known as the Chargers’ offense, has 11 consecutive field goals against Denver.

--Player to watch: Junior Seau. What’s the Charger linebacker do for an encore after compiling a dozen tackles, two interceptions, a sack and six hot dog dances against Kansas City?

--Finally: Terrell Davis grew up in San Diego. Now he has a chance to set a Denver record with his fifth consecutive 100-yard game.

* HONEYMOON KILLER

San Francisco (3-1) at St. Louis (1-3), 1 p.m., Channel 11: The 49ers have beaten the Rams 12 consecutive times, the last three by a combined score of 119-23. Folks in St. Louis couldn’t wait for the Rams to get there, but in the last seven home games the PSL owners have watched their heroes win but twice.

--Say what: Ram offense ranks last in rushing with Lawrence Phillips. Somebody ought to take the handcuffs off.

--Player to watch: Steve Young, who has a groin injury, or Elvis Grbac, Young’s backup who has been experiencing back spasms. Ram fans may be rooting for Elvis to enter the building but had better reconsider. The last time Grbac started against the Rams, the 49ers won, 44-10.

--Finally: The 49ers have the No. 5 defense and the Rams have rookie quarterback Tony Banks. What’s the record for most interceptions in one game? Eight.

* SUNDAY NIGHT TRASH

Houston (2-2) at Cincinnati (1-3), 5 p.m., TNT: Two teams coming off losses continue a horrific streak of less-than-thrilling Sunday night matchups. The Bengals, who figured to surprise people this year, have. They have been worse than first thought. The Oilers were looking as if they could create some excitement in the AFC Central until they failed to show up against the Steelers last week.

--Say what: The Bengals expected to impress with a healthy Ki-Jana Carter, then went out and picked up Garrison Hearst, causing problems with Carter. Carter’s now on the bench and Hearst starts. And the Bengals have given Coach David Shula a vote of confidence. Why, sure.

--Player to watch: Houston’s Willie Davis. The former Kansas City wide receiver has a touchdown catch in each game, and the Bengal pass defense ranks 29th.

--Finally: Jeff Blake, a huge disappointment for the Bengals this season, has thrown for 930 yards, nine touchdowns and one interception in his last three games against the Oilers.

TIME TO SEPARATE

Carolina (3-1) at Minnesota (4-1): The Panthers’ joy ride ended against expansion rival Jacksonville, and now they have to take on the Vikings, who are smarting from their first loss. Forget it.

--Say what: The Vikings have outscored opponents 45-6 in the fourth quarter but the Panthers have given up only one fourth-quarter touchdown.

--Player to watch: Carolina quarterback Kerry Collins, who injured his knee a few weeks back. If Collins has a sore knee now, what happens after the No. 1 team in sacks gets done beating him up?

--Finally: The Panthers lack a running game and have a banged up quarterback, and if stuck on third down, they will be going against a defense that has allowed only 10 of 41 third-down conversion attempts. Bring on the punter.

Green Bay (4-1) at Chicago (2-3): Packer Coach Mike Holmgren is 6-2 against the Bears, and if he makes it 7-2, the Bears might as well go into hibernation. The loss of starting quarterback Erik Kramer because of a neck injury continues to put pressure on old man Dave Krieg for Chicago.

--Say what: Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre is on pace to break the NFL season record of 48 touchdown passes. He had 38 in his MVP season a year ago.

--Player to watch: Chicago running back Rashaan Salaam. Knee injuries to Robert Green and Raymont Harris put the Bears’ fortunes in the fumbling hands of Salaam.

--Finally: The Packers lead the league with 15 interceptions and seven fumble recoveries and the shaky Bears should help them pad those stats.

PLAYOFF PREVIEW

Indianapolis (4-0) at Buffalo (3-1): The Colts are the last undefeated team, and they catch a break with Buffalo quarterback Jim Kelly nursing a pulled hamstring. Backup quarterback Todd Collins, who did little more than hand off in a victory over Dallas, will run the Bills’ low-risk offense against the Colts’ No. 1 rushing defense.

--Say what: The Colts are 10-2 in their last 12 games against the AFC East. However, both losses were to Buffalo.

--Player to watch: Indianapolis running back Marshall Faulk. The Colts’ offense ranks 18th running the ball, but Faulk has missed the last two games, resting a sore toe.

--Finally: The Bills have started 3-1 or better every year since 1988. In that time, they have gone 4-1 or better six times.

HUSH

New England (2-2) at Baltimore (2-2): So who’s better? Who cares? Neither team has done anything exciting and both figure to muddle along at .500. The Patriots have the best chance to bust out if quarterback Drew Bledsoe produces.

--Say what: The Patriots scored a total of 20 points in their first two games and lost. They scored 59 points in the next two and won.

--Player to watch: Raven running back Earnest Byner. Baltimore signed Bam Morris because it didn’t have a running game and Byner responded by running for 149 yards. Morris remains on suspension for a drug arrest, so Byner gets another chance to keep him on the bench, even after Morris becomes eligible.

--Finally: New England’s defense, which gets an inviting look at Vinny Testaverde, has eight interceptions. A year ago at this time--without having played Testaverde--it had four.

UPSET OR ROMP?

Atlanta (0-4) at Detroit (3-2): The Falcons realized just how important Jeff George is to their offense, but instead of bringing him back, they extended his suspension. The Lions, meanwhile, appear to be revving up on offense, and if so, the Falcons don’t have the firepower to keep pace.

--Say what: Atlanta’s defense has given up only two touchdowns rushing this season but Detroit running back Barry Sanders is averaging a touchdown a game in five meetings with the Falcons.

--Player to watch: Atlanta kicker Morten Andersen. Nah, the Falcons won’t be shut out. Andersen has 30 field goals from 50 yards or beyond.

--Finally: In their last 12 games, the Lions have outscored opponents 340-176 and posted a 10-2 record.

Jacksonville (2-3) at New Orleans (0-5): The Saints have begun the season 0-5 the last two seasons--and six times in 29 years. Coach Jim Mora might want to work on those early-season pep talks--with the new team he will be coaching next year.

--Say what: The Jaguars have 15 sacks--only two shy of their 16-game total last season.

--Player to watch: Jacksonville quarterback Mark Brunell is bidding to become one of the game’s best. He has thrown for six touchdowns in the last two games and has topped the 200-yard passing mark seven games in a row.

--Finally: The Saints’ Tyrone Hughes leads the NFL in kick returns with 27--because the opposition scores so often.

Seattle (1-4) at Miami (3-1): The Seahawks were going to make a run for respectability this season with a developing Rick Mirer at quarterback. Mirer’s out and now John Friesz takes over and won’t that make Jimmy Johnson happy? Friesz is 8-22 as a starter.

--Say what: The Dolphins want to run the ball, so big deal, Dan Marino’s hurt. Craig Erickson, 13-19 as a starter, replaces Marino.

--Player to watch: Miami kicker Joe Nedney has missed four of his first nine field-goal attempts. And Johnson has such patience with kickers.

--Finally: Repeating, Johnson likes to run the ball, and the Seahawks rank 30th in stopping the run.