Perfectly Unhappyy

Welcome to Crybaby Central, home of those whining San Francisco 49ers, who simply can’t comprehend these days why they are not scoring 50 points a game and winning by 40.

The 49ers have always been arrogant, of course, but now after taking a two-game lead in the NFC West, they are grumbling like spoiled brats.

“You would think if you’re 7-2 you would be having a great season and everybody would be happy,” wide receiver Jerry Rice says. “But it’s been a tradition, when things are not going right, I think we’ve worked for perfection around here. When it’s not going right, you’re not happy.”

Do you think the Rams would be complaining today if they averaged 24 points a game like the 1996 49ers? The Rams would be happy to average 24 points a month and would trade Coach Rich Brooks straight up right now for any one of San Francisco’s three quarterbacks--all of whom have won at one time or another this season.

The 49ers scored 24 points last week, won and emerged from the locker room angry with their performance. This is a team that cannot simply win.

“You don’t enjoy a win,” says Carmen Policy, team president. “What you do is appreciate the relief of not losing. We are so frightened of turning the heat down and taking a deep breath and loosening up because we’re afraid the moment you start doing that--even by a centimeter--you start losing the edge.”

The Dallas Cowboys--this week’s opponent in San Francisco--have the real credentials to grouse or appear uptight. They are 5-4, have lost three in a row to San Francisco, are stuck in the embarrassing position of pursuing a wild-card berth as the defending Super Bowl champions and are so bad off they have to start a guy on offense and defense.

“Do I have any sympathy for the 49ers?” says Dallas Coach Barry Switzer, who was overcome by laughter. “I never expected that question to be asked. Their offense is out of sync, huh?

“I see a football team that scares the hell out of me every time I look at them. They seem to be able to win, regardless of whether they feel like they’re in or out of sync.”

Still, it’s a calamity here when the points don’t pile up. When the 49ers scored 2.7 fewer points a game last year than the season before, they brought back Bill Walsh, the original designer of the San Francisco offensive attack, to baby-sit coordinator Marc Trestman.

“There’s only so much I can do,” Walsh says now in divorcing himself from this year’s offensive product. “There is only so much I do. I don’t have power, don’t have authority and I choose not to. There’s not a thing more I can do. It’s in the hands of other people.”

Now that the 49ers are scoring 4.5 points fewer than last season, how long before Joe Montana gets the call?

“We’re falling short in every category,” Walsh says, and the gnashing of teeth is apparently contagious here when you consider the 49ers still are outscoring their opponents by nearly 10 points a game.

Obviously for some in San Francisco, winning isn’t everything. No, “we’re not playing up to standards now,” Rice says. “It’s just not happening right now.”

The 49ers are frustrated, and yet they have not played this season with their starting left tackle, Kirk Scrafford, who is trying to recover from a preseason foot injury. They haven’t had a 100-yard rusher in 33 consecutive games because Ricky Watters left for more money in Philadelphia two years ago. John Taylor retired as the team’s No. 2 wide receiver, and his replacement, UCLA’s J.J. Stokes, was lost for the season because of a broken wrist about the same time the critics were saying he was playing so poorly he was going to hurt himself out there.

Tight end Brent Jones suffered a shoulder injury and was forced to return prematurely a week ago because his backup suffered a concussion. Tackle Harris Barton was on crutches last week because of a groin injury.

Consider all that, and then factor in the battering quarterback Steve Young has been subjected to this season. Young, looking like a 35-year-old quarterback wary of being hit, has sat out all or part of six games this season because of a lingering groin injury and most recently a concussion.

And the 49ers can’t understand why they no longer have a megaton offense.

“We have created a monster, and that’s why you see us engaging in self-flagellation,” Policy says. “We know inside when we’re doing what we should be doing, and because our season is determined by whether we get to the Super Bowl and not by any other standard, we are awfully tough on ourselves when we don’t appear to be playing championship-caliber ball.”

The 49er offense, which relies more heavily on its quarterback than the run-oriented traditional offenses, has fallen apart near the goal line and in third-down situations. San Francisco ranks No. 27 in converting third downs and has settled for 14 field goals after moving inside its opponents’ 20-yard line.

So what’s wrong with the offense?

“That’s the question we’ve been asking ourselves,” Young says. “A lot of us have experienced offensive explosions over the years that not only led the league, but were that much further. Now we’re coming out on third down and not converting. We’re not getting red-zone touchdowns.

“We’re winning, but we tend to be perfectionists, and not only tend to be, but we are. I don’t think we’re satisfied with what we’re seeing.”

And when was the last time the 49ers were pleased with what they witnessed on offense? “Last year’s game against Dallas,” says Rice of the 49ers’ 38-30 victory.

Next up, Dallas, and now the 49ers are trying to make everyone think that they are the desperate team.

“I hope it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Young says. “In other words, you’ve created your own penchant for what you want to have and by declaring it publicly, we start doing it. In my history in football, that’s how things get done.”

Young ranks No. 13 among quarterbacks this season behind such future NFL footnotes as Vinny Testaverde, Mike Tomczak and John Friesz.

“The veterans on this team are very, very upset at themselves,” Young says. But a year ago at this time, the 49ers were 5-4 and preparing to play Dallas. Now they can bury Dallas and make a run at Green Bay for home-field advantage throughout the playoffs.

The 49er offense ranks ninth in the NFL, and while not up to 49er standards, San Francisco is still averaging 116.3 yards a game on the ground to Dallas’ 99.4. And although Dallas has had Troy Aikman sound all year and the 49ers have had to go three-deep at quarterback, it’s the 49ers who are averaging 215.9 yards in the air to Dallas’ 207.

It’s San Francisco crying a tune, and the 49ers have scored 31 points more than the Cowboys this season.

“We have an expectation,” Trestman says. “We want to be perfect.”