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CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Denver (9-1)
Opponent: at New England
Comment: High noon for Elway-Bledsoe. Bledsoe’s no Gary Cooper.
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Team: 2. Dallas (6-4)
Opponent: Green Bay
Comment: Too much coaching for Cheatin’ Cheeseheads to overcome.
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Team: 3. Buffalo (7-3)
Opponent: Cincinnati
Comment: Ransom--Bills threaten to hold Super Bowl till they win it.
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Team: 4. Green Bay (8-2)
Opponent: at Dallas
Comment: Gladys Knight without Pips is Favre without receivers.
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Team: 5. San Francisco (7-3)
Opponent: Baltimore
Comment: Ravens--now there’s an embarrassment to humankind.
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Team: 6. Pittsburgh (7-3)
Opponent: Jacksonville
Comment: Bill Cowher is 1-2 against Jaguars. He can’t coach.
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Team: 7. Philadelphia (7-3)
Opponent: Washington
Comment: Ray Rhodes tires of Watters’ whining. What took so long?
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Team: 8. New England (7-3)
Opponent: Denver
Comment: Four in a row! Michael Jackson’s gonna have a baby!
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Team: 9. Kansas City (7-3)
Opponent: Chicago
Comment: First of two at home with cream puffs--Bears, Chargers.
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Team: 10. Washington (7-3)
Opponent: at Philadelphia
Comment: Mr. President, can Redskins borrow secretary of defense?
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Team: 11. Houston (6-4)
Opponent: Miami
Comment: Chandler vs. Marino. Holyfield vs. Tyson.
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Team: 12. Carolina (6-4)
Opponent: at St. Louis
Comment: Only thing between Panthers and victory No. 7--the Rams.
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Team: 13. Seattle (5-5)
Opponent: at Detroit
Comment: Seahawks must look like Big Foot to beleagured Fontes.
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Team: 14. Miami (5-5)
Opponent: at Houston
Comment: Jimmy Johnson ain’t nothin’ special without Jerry Jones.
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Team: 15. San Diego (6-4)
Opponent: Tampa Bay
Comment: AFC version of Buccaneers; 32 quarters with no TDs rushing.
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Team: 16. Indianapolis (5-5)
Opponent: N.Y. Jets
Comment: Clock has struck 12, pumpkins have been smashed.
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Team: 17. Minnesota (5-5)
Opponent: at Oakland
Comment: Johnson starts, Moon sits. Yes, a total eclipse.
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Team: 18. Cincinnati (4-6)
Opponent: at Buffalo
Comment: Coslet better than David Shula--heck, better than Don.
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Team: 19. Oakland (4-6)
Opponent: Minnesota
Comment: New Mexico referee beaten up; Raiders have alibi.
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Team: 20. Detroit (4-6)
Opponent: Seattle
Comment: Say a Hail Mary for Fontes.
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Team: 21. Arizona (4-6)
Opponent: N.Y. Giants
Comment: Boomer throws for 500; Bidwill becomes popular.
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Team: 22. N.Y. Giants (4-6)
Opponent: at Arizona
Comment: Can they afford to trade Williams--oops, wrong Giants.
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Team: 23. Chicago (4-6)
Opponent: at Kansas City
Comment: Bulls have twice as many victories as the Bears.
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Team: 24. Jacksonville (4-6)
Opponent: at Pittsburgh
Comment: Mean coach gives players day off. Editors, take note.
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Team: 25. Baltimore (3-7)
Opponent: at San Francisco
Comment: Imagine if Mayor Willie Brown had to watch Vinny.
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Team: 26. Tampa Bay (2-8)
Opponent: at San Diego
Comment: Imagine if Mayor Willie Brown had to watch Dilfer.
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Team: 27. New Orleans (2-8)
Opponent: at Atlanta
Comment: Falcons give up 59 points and still are favored.
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Team: 28. St. Louis (3-7)
Opponent: Carolina
Comment: Another TD or two and Rams would have hit Georgia’s age.
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Team: 29. N.Y. Jets (1-9)
Opponent: at Indianapolis
Comment: Jets deny wanting to replace Kotite with Fontes.
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Team: 30. Atlanta (1-9)
Opponent: New Orleans
Comment: What was the quarterback’s name? George Jeff?
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THE POLLS: Associated Press and USA Today/CNN--C10
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