CAPSULES AND RANKINGS
Team: 1. Denver (11-1)
Comment: Star Trek: First Contact--exposing Broncos as The Borg.
Team: 2. Dallas (8-5)
Opponent: Def. Washington
Comment: MRI exam reveals Emmitt Smith has fractured ego.
Team: 3. San Francisco (9-3)
Opponent: at Atlanta
Comment: NFC Meddling Coach of the Year: Bill Walsh.
Team: 4. Green Bay (9-3)
Comment: Rison to save the day. Hope Lombardi's not watching.
Team: 5. Pittsburgh (9-3)
Opponent: at Baltimore
Comment: Tomczak seen yelling at Cowher: "You want O'Donnell back?"
Team: 6. Buffalo (9-3)
Opponent: at Indianapolis
Comment: Kelly, Thomas, Tasker hurt. Will be back for Super Bowl.
Team: 7. Kansas City (9-4)
Opponent: Def. Detroit
Comment: Gannon? Bono? Allen can throw and score too.
Team: 8. New England (8-4)
Opponent: at San Diego
Comment: Does Parcells still have it? Time to find out.
Team: 9. Washington (8-5)
Opponent: Lost to Dallas
Comment: Thanks for the memories.
Team: 10. Carolina (8-4)
Opponent: Tampa Bay
Comment: Panthers have new motto: Commitment to Excellence.
Team: 11. Philadelphia (7-5)
Opponent: NY Giants
Comment: Rhodes like scarecrow; now birds just ignore him.
Team: 12. San Diego (7-5)
Opponent: New England
Comment: Chargers on probation; must've cheated to beat Chiefs.
Team: 13. Miami (6-6)
Opponent: at Oakland
Comment: Marino comeback fails; so Jimmy, cut the lug.
Team: 14. Houston (6-6)
Opponent: at NY Jets
Comment: Oiler playoff hopes ride with Air McNair. Buckle up.
Team: 15. Minnesota (6-6)
Comment: Moon might be done. Holtz wouldn't want him anyway.
Team: 16. Indianapolis (6-6)
Comment: The NFL? Kerwin Bell heartbeat away from playing.
Team: 17. Seattle (5-7)
Opponent: at Denver
Team: 18. Arizona (6-6)
Opponent: at Minnesota
Comment: Boomer--Dead Man Walking, but explain last three weeks.
Team: 19. Cincinnati (5-7)
Opponent: at Jacksonville
Comment: Bengals like that turkey drop on "WKRP in Cincinnati."
Team: 20. Oakland (5-7)
Comment: Al Davis speaks and now you know why he normally doesn't.
Team: 21. N.Y. Giants (5-7)
Opponent: at Philadelphia
Comment: Owners say Reeves will be back and Santa's on his way.
Team: 22. Chicago (5-7)
Opponent: at Green Bay
Comment: Salaam benched, guess he fumbled his opportunity too.
Team: 23. Jacksonville (5-7)
Comment: Jaguar coaches stuck in elevator; too bad they got out.
Team: 24. Detroit (5-8)
Opponent: Lost to K.C.
Comment: 10, 12 men on field, Sanders throws and people rip Fontes.
Team: 25. Tampa Bay (4-8)
Opponent: at Carolina
Comment: Vatican sending experts to confirm record a miracle.
Team: 26. Baltimore (3-9)
Comment: 45 million turkeys cooked, but Vinny survives.
Team: 27. New Orleans (2-10)
Opponent: St. Louis
Comment: Venturi vs. Brooks--Promo for "Home Improvement."
Team: 28. St. Louis (3-9)
Opponent: at New Orleans
Comment: Note to John Robinson: Rams will be looking for a coach.
Team: 29. Atlanta (2-10)
Opponent: San Francisco
Comment: Monday night football or Melrose Place marathon? No contest.
Team: 30. N.Y. Jets (1-11)
Comment: 101 Dalmations and 53 Jets--That sure is a lot of dogs.