The Schmaltz of Christmas

Crystal Cathedral’s annual “The Glory of Christmas” is a pageant. In that sense it’s pretty spectacular, filling the immense church with sight and sound, not to mention scent. Along with a huge cast of more than 200 people are live horses, goats, donkeys, sheep and camels.

Unfortunately, size isn’t the thing to consider when you’re telling the story of the birth of Jesus Christ, and what this show is missing mostly is a sense of spirituality. The extravaganza is show biz through and through, and not very good, or even always tasteful, show biz at that.

Paul David Dunn, the producer, writer and director, has put together a mishmash of a script that only gives momentary nods to the Christmas story, just enough to let the kids in the audience know what they’re watching. What’s more important than the story to Dunn is overpowering the audience with the immensity of his conception. It’s like a grand theme park ride; very little heart and soul is in evidence.

The touches of tastelessness begin with the angels, who zip out of the darkness courtesy of Flying by Foy at an interstellar speed and circle around (about 30 or 40 feet above the audience members’ heads) waving their arms. They look like a group of Wampus Baby Stars in a 1930s musical, made-up to the teeth, with stylish hairdos and enhancing smiles.

Jesus’ mother, Mary, suffers a similar fate in this production.

All of the major roles are alternated. The night this production was reviewed, Mary was played by Mardi Robins, who, like all of the singers, handles her songs superbly. But Robins, harking back to those angels, is made-up like the star of that 1930s musical (though she has a rather chic contemporary hairstyle and is continually pushing back the cloth covering her head to more attractive advantage). We’ll ignore the incongruity and dubious intent of Mary singing Christmas carols to her newborn son.

Other anachronisms abound, such as a portion of Bethlehem at the back of the set, its windows ablaze with obvious electrical lighting, looking very much like a Laguna Hills condominium community. And, though most of the cast is dressed by Richard Bostard in properly Biblical robes, the girl dancers are wearing calf-length skirts and tight-fitting bodices--a Renaissance peasant style that was still a dozen centuries away. The dancers’ choreography, by Dorie Lee Mattson, is also ahead of its time--by about 19 centuries, for it looks very much as though it’s from that same grade-B 1930s musical.

The performers in the central roles do what they can with Dunn’s meaningless snippets of dialogue, but they remind one of W.C. Fields’ advice never to appear with children or animals. Most of the youthful supernumeraries wandering the large stage can’t help looking at the audience and smiling, and the animals actually steal the show. The camels are particularly attention-getting, looking like old theatrical hams in their confident bearing and regal disdain. They are almost worth sitting through all this for, especially when one glances at the audience and, chewing with a passion, almost smiles as if to say, “Who are all you people, and why are you here?”

“The Glory of Christmas” continues through Dec. 29 at Crystal Cathedral, 12141 Lewis St., Garden Grove. Most days at 4:30, 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. $20-$30. (714) 544-5679. Running time: 1 hour, 25 minutes.

Mardi Robins: Mary

Bruce Johnson: Joseph

Raymond Jaramillo McLeod: Shepherd

Patricia Prunty: Shepherdess

Daniel Bryan Cartmell: Herod

A Crystal Cathedral production of Paul David Dunn’s holiday pageant. Directed by Dunn. Scenic design: Charles Lisanby. Lighting design: Perry Halford, Terry Larson. Musical director: Johnnie Carl. Choreography: Dorie Lee Mattson.