Not Worth Beans : Celtics Are Off to Their Worst Start, but M.L. Carr Won’t Throw In the Towel

In a way, nothing ever changes. Celtics are Celtics, Lakers are Lakers and never the twain shall meet without one of them going away mad.

“You know what city you’re in right now?” says M.L. Carr, incredulous that someone has suggested there are two or three NBA glamour franchises.

“There was only one! Forget the Lakers, man!

“Let me rile this up, get this thing stirred up before I get out there! Shoot on the Lakers, 76ers and the Knicks! There was only one team! I want to stir it up! I want to make sure they sell out when I get there. If Shaq can’t sell it out, I can sell it out. They can come boo me!”

Sure, why not? Laker fans will be glad to picket Carr tonight for old times’ sake, but in the real world everything changes. The old towel-waving substitute may now be coach and general manager, but the Lakers have bigger fish to fry and the rivalry is in his head.

If the Lakers are having problems with chemistry or ticket sales in the Shaquille O’Neal era, they’re way beyond the Celtics, now sunk deep enough to get their mail by gopher.

Four years after Larry Bird, the Celtics haven’t hit bottom yet, although this season may take care of that. They’re off to their worst start (5-19) and seem destined to go into their own record book, upside down.

One way or another, they’ll never forget this season. For the first two months, they haven’t had a center, only Dino Radja standing in, backed up by ungainly, goggled Brett Szabo, who reminds one of UCLA’s post-Larry Farmer reconstruction in the ‘80s, when a Bruin alumnus looked at an awkward new transfer and proclaimed it the Jack Haley Era.

Szabo only has to sub for Radja a few minutes a game. Carr inherits the throne of Red Auerbach, who created three dynasties out of thin air, using nothing more than his wits to steal Bill Russell, Dave Cowens, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish, etc.

There’s no percentage in following a legend, so if Carr followed a vision that was, let’s say, peculiar, while continuously proclaiming the coming of Dynasty IV, people didn’t compare him to his failed predecessor, Dave Gavitt. In Carr’s case, the comparisons, muttered within Boston, published elsewhere, are more to Bozo the Clown.

What, him worry?

“Greatest opportunity in America, if you ask me!” Carr trumpets, as if he’s taping a motivational video.

“When I took this position, I said I’m the right guy. And I knew what was going to come down. I knew the hits, I knew the knocks. That was why I knew I was the right guy, because I can deal with it.

“You don’t make me shake and waver. I have a mission. I have a vision of what this is supposed to be about . . .

“All you want to do is carve out your niche among the great ones, great players, great teams. The whole thing is about championships, and that’s why I don’t lose sight of it. Tonight’s game, tomorrow’s game, the next game, that’s not what I’m looking for. [Note: That was fortunate because they lost all three.] My goal is to win an NBA championship, No. 17 for the Boston Celtics.

“And I won’t deny, every now and then--most of the time actually--the media makes jokes of me for doing that. ‘Gee, this guy, where is he coming from? He’s got a 4-12 record, he’s talking about a championship.’ But that’s what my goal is. My goal is not to be 5-12 or 12-12 or 18-4. My goal is to win an NBA championship, nothing short of that.

“I didn’t waver as a player. I said, ‘I’m supposed to stop you.’ If I couldn’t stop you a conventional way, I’d stop you an unconventional way. The bottom line is, my job was to stop you and I became the bad guy with that--he’s a thug. The bottom line is, guess what? He was stopped.”

If his octopus defense, tenacity and courage were enough this time around, everyone would be much happier in Boston.

In the real world, they’re up to Year III of the Carr Era and heading for the bottom at flank speed. His 17th banner is a wish made on a star and this is the NBA, not Disneyland.

*

How can you blame a man whose life has been a dream come true for believing in fairy tales?

Michael Leon Carr was born in the hamlet of Wallace, N.C. His father, John Henry Carr, was a textile worker who never made more than $5.65 an hour. Yearning for a better life for his children, John Henry stressed the value of education and hard work.

M.L., however, was so driven, so positive things would work out, he says his father feared for him.

M.L. became one of 27 black students who integrated Rose Hill High in 1965. He also became the first black basketball player in the conference. John Henry asked if he wanted to go through that. M.L. said he did.

He was called racial names and saw his number on a dummy hanging from the ceiling in an opposing school’s gym. What can talk-radio callers do to him these days that compares to that?

He was a star at tiny Guilford College, but the Kansas City Kings cut him, as did the ABA’s Kentucky Colonels and the Celtics, before he got stuck as a valued reserve specializing in agitation and whatever else was necessary.

“This is America, that’s what it’s all about, right?” Carr says, heading deeper into his stump speech. “Too many people want you to give them something. This wasn’t given. I paid the dues. Now, every time I cut a kid, I’ve got a point of reference.

“I know what I felt like the first time I was cut, going back to the hotel room and crying, crying all day long, trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life because I felt my life was over, basically.

“I understand these kids. I tell them, ‘This isn’t over, it’s only the beginning. Right now, you were cut, you just had a uniform today, but you were maybe one of 600 kids to have a uniform. That makes you pretty special.’

“But they don’t look at it that way. They look at it like it’s the end of the day for them.

“I went through it three times. That’s why I say, ‘Guys, it’s ironic now. One of the teams that cut me, I’m running the ballclub, right? Think about it. That’s America! Not giving up, being persistent, not wavering.’ ”

If only grit and ambition were enough in the NBA, as it was in life for Carr. But this isn’t merely America. This is Boston.

*

Of course, not even Auerbach could live up to his legend, in these times or any other.

If Red appeared to walk on water, he knew where the rocks were. Celtic insiders say the franchise’s unparalleled triumphs were as much due to the Celtic family he created and used as a kitchen cabinet as they were to one great man’s genius.

For example, Don Nelson, who considered Auerbach a mentor, says the draft of Cowens wasn’t Auerbach’s idea (though Red took credit for it.) Nelson says Auerbach wanted Sam Lacey but was talked into Cowens by a scout named Mal Graham, who put his job on the line.

Similarly, insiders say the Warrior swindle, in which the Celtics effectively traded J.B. (Just Breathing) Carroll for Parish and McHale, was done by then-coach Bill Fitch.

But Auerbach would have needed only a small percentage of the coups that snared so many stars so many other teams could have had to deserve his legend.

--Russell came in a trade with the St. Louis Hawks, after the Rochester Royals decided, or were persuaded, to take Si Green. As a payoff, or as Royal owner Les Harrison claimed, a favor that had nothing to do with it, the Royals got an appearance by Celtic owner Walter Brown’s ice show. The Hawks got Easy Ed Macauley.

Also, the Celtics got 11 titles in 13 years.

--Cowens came in 1970 after the Pistons took Bob Lanier, the San Diego Rockets went for Rudy Tomjanovich, and the Hawks for Pistol Pete Maravich.

--The same year, Auerbach drafted Charlie Scott, who had signed with an ABA team. Two years later when Scott wanted to go to Phoenix, Auerbach got Paul Silas, setting up the frontline that helped win two titles in the ‘70s.

--Bird was drafted in 1978, a year before leaving Indiana State after teams selecting ahead of the Celtics took players like Rick Robey. (Auerbach had two No. 1 picks; insiders wonder if he’d have really gone for Bird, as he says he would have, if he’d had only one.)

Ironically, after the death of Walter Brown in 1964, ownership shifted like desert sands, with a succession of absentees such as Harry Mangurian, the furniture dealer from Rochester, N.Y., or John Brown, the fried chicken king from Kentucky.

Nevertheless, Auerbach could give up a whole season for the sake of the future, like the ‘78-79 campaign when they went 29-53 waiting for Bird.

In the ‘90s, when the Bird-McHale-Parish nucleus died on the vine, with a new arena coming and lavish resources, the Celtics seemed terrified of short-term pain.

Two seasons ago, Carr signed Dominique Wilkins, then 34 and obviously out of the cornerstone biz.

Not that Carr is disowning it.

“ ‘Nique was a great move, from a business standpoint,” he says. “I wear two hats, all right?

“You look at it in terms of your sponsorships, you look at it from your fans’ standpoint, your total customer base. There was talk they would not return. So we go out and get a ‘Nique and all of a sudden, it generated a lot of excitement. We were able to increase sponsorship dollars, we were able to do all those other things to enhance the business side. This is not a charitable event, this is business.”

A year later, when Wilkins left in a contract dispute, Carr gave his money to Dana Barros, a pint-sized three-point ace, who now comes off his bench. Instead of being able to offer some young big man a seven-year, $35-million contract last summer, when the market was rich with them, the Celtics had to sit it out.

Not that Carr is disowning this one either.

“Jerry [West] could have waited another year and maybe there’s a better big guy come along better than Shaq,” he says. “That’s hindsight. If you get to the NBA championship and win the championship, he’s a genius. If he doesn’t, if Shaq blows out a knee or something, guess what? That was a mistake. Anybody can say it after the fact.

“The bottom line is, Dana Barros is a legitimate NBA player and the money he’s making now makes his salary in the course of this collective bargaining agreement that of a very average player. Think of it. With guys making $8, 9, 10 million, $15 million a year, you look at $3, 3.5 million, it becomes average . . .

“Is Dana Barros an average player? Oh, above average? Oh, he’s underpaid then. [Laughing] Maybe I should go back and give him more money.”

If only rationalization actually made things better, what a wonderful world it would be.

*

Ten minutes before a game, the FleetCenter is half full. The Celtics had a sellout streak in the old Garden that dated to the early ‘80s, but it lasted only a few games after the new building opened.

The old Garden was wild, which may explain why Boston was used as a setting for “Celtic Pride,” a movie in which deranged fans kidnap the opponent’s star. Now it’s different. The fans pay more, take their seats later and cheer less. These days, it’s like . . . the Forum.

It is as if everyone is waiting for something, another man on a white horse. Rick Pitino, whose wife is from the area, is the consensus savior.

For two years, Carr’s popularity kept him from the blade, but as Celtic fortunes ebb, it descends. If he would just say, Look, we all know what the deal is around here, etc., he might get some breathing room. Instead, he makes himself coach and talks about that 17th banner.

Not that the heat is getting to him, but how many times can a man with a college degree, who worked as hard as he did to get it, who has a son in Princeton, be called an idiot?

“ ‘You’re a moron, you’re an idiot.’ I hear those things,” Carr says.

“I told one guy one time, ‘Look, for $200,000, we’ll put a bet down. . . . I’ll bet you $200,000 your college transcript won’t compare. And I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you 3-1 odds and you won’t come close to my son’s, all right?’

“So who’s the idiot? Who’s the fool? You know what I’m saying? I’m sitting here running the ballclub, you’re telling stories about me running it.”

Whether it’s a surprise to the principals or not, the Celtics have finally taken on a direction recently, even if they didn’t prepare anyone for it and even if it is down.

At this pace, they’ll be favored in the Tim Duncan derby. They also have the Dallas Mavericks’ No. 1 pick, an increasingly valuable asset Carr got when he traded Eric Montross for Antoine Walker and left himself with one center, 38-year-old Alton Lister, who promptly broke down.

Maybe Carr learned something at Auerbach’s knee?

Whatever. As you make up your “WHERE’S YOUR WHITE TOWEL NOW, M.L.?” posters, be grateful he has the job and you don’t.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

CELTIC SLIDE

*--*

Decade Record (Avg.) Titles 1960s 546-260 (55-26), .677 (.679) 5 division, 8 NBA 1970s 504-316 (50-32), .615 (.610) 6 division, 2 NBA 1980s 583-237 (58-24), .711 (.707) 7 division, 3 NBA 1990s 260-256 (42-40), .504 (.512) 2 division, 0 NBA

*--*

YEAR BY YEAR IN THE ‘90S

Year: Record

1990-91: 56-26, .683

1991-92: 51-31, .622

1992-93: 48-34, .585

1993-94: 32-50, .390

1994-95: 35-47, .427

1995-96: 33-49, .402

1996-97: 5-19, .208