After Low Blows, a Few Good Jabs Will Be Nothing

Riddick Bowe, the former heavyweight champion, is scheduled to ship out to Parris Island, S.C., next week for 12 weeks of Marine Corps basic training.

Greg Logan of Newsday envisions Bowe beginning a 20-mile hike at 5 a.m. with a drill instructor shouting out the cadence to the troops:

“I don’t know, but I’ve been told/Riddick Bowe is getting old./ Golota hit below the belt./ That’s the worst Bowe ever felt./ Sound off!”

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Trivia time: Who was the first Los Angeles Laker to be named most valuable player of the NBA All-Star game?

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A hard sell: Would you pay $10 for a brick? The city of Cleveland began selling bricks recently from the rubble of Municipal Stadium.

The city will sell 10,000 bricks to the public for $10 each. Each brick is enclosed in a gift box with a certificate of authenticity.

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Come again? From a University of Maryland news release: “Maryland is 15-0, undefeated, when it outscores its opponent.”

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Dumb list: Comedian Kathleen Madigan criticized this year’s Super Bowl commercials as lackluster, saying, “Every single ad was based on some sort of dumb animal--be it a bear, pig, cow, dog or supermodel.”

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What, no crackers? Kraft Foods Inc. said it is presenting Green Bay Packer President Bob Harlan with a 640-pound replica of the Lombardi Trophy sculpted out of Wisconsin cheddar cheese.

The Packers beat the New England Patriots, 35-21, in the Super Bowl to win the real Lombardi Trophy, named after legendary Green Bay coach Vince Lombardi, who really was a big cheese.

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No incentive now: Buster Olney of the Baltimore Sun: “At least 33 major league players have incentive clauses providing for bonuses if they’re named the most valuable player in a division series. There is no MVP award for a division series.”

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Bombs away: Jayson Stark in the Philadelphia Inquirer: “Here’s a scary thought: Thanks to interleague play, McGwire, Canseco, Griffey, Buhner and Juan Gonzalez will visit Coors Field this year. NASA officials have been alerted.”

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FYI: Irv Kaze, who has a sports show on radio station KIEV, came up with this statistic: From 1954 through 1996, the National and American leagues have had a combined 404 managerial changes. The Dodgers? Only two. Walter Alston to Tom Lasorda to Bill Russell.

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Trivia answer: Jerry West, in the 1972 game at the Forum.

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And finally: Karl Malone, who will be appearing in his 10th NBA All-Star game Sunday in Cleveland, is already preparing for a quick getaway:

“I want to go, stay healthy and get out of Cleveland. My wife and kids are going to leave [for the airport] in the third quarter. Me, I ain’t taking a shower, and I’m not waiting for the NBA transportation. I’m taking a cab.”