Wild West? These Days It’s More Like Mild West

Recline of the West: They used to say Western teams played soft, but at least they could play. As recently as 1993-94, the conference had one 60-game winner and five 50s.

Now it has only five .500 teams. That’s out of 14.

This season, 41 wins will make you a playoff lock. At the moment, .432--the Clippers’ record--is good for seventh place. That’s a 35-47 pace.

“We’re in good position,” says Sacramento personnel director Jerry Reynolds, whose Kings are at No. 8, “but we’re all kind of wallowing in the mud.”

The Clippers are overachievers. The Minnesota Timberwolves are comers. The Phoenix Suns are rebuilding. The rest of the bubble teams are under-performing, made grievous personnel mistakes or are jokes in general. If you want to know what happened to the West, it self-destructed.

Here’s a look at the contenders for the sixth, seventh and eighth playoff spots:

TIMBERWOLVES--They’re moving up fast, led by Tom Gugliotta and Kevin Garnett, who’s 20, and Stephon Marbury, who’s about to turn 20.

“Sam Mitchell tells me Garnett works harder than anybody on the team in practice,” says former Sun coach Cotton Fitzsimmons, “and he plays the same way during games.

“A young man his age and with his potential, he’s going to be a star in this league because of that. Now, if he were a guy who thought he was cool and, because he had the money, he didn’t have to work, he’d never be good. But he’s going to be real good. All he really wants to do is win the games.”

Marbury is said to be just as solid. If the Timberwolves can keep them--the first test will be this summer when they offer Garnett a new deal--they’re in business.

CLIPPERS--The talent drain continues (one day they’re trading for a free agent, the next he’s walking), there are Indiana high schools that draw better and it’s another write-off season for Stanley Roberts, but they’re respectable, a compliment for them and resident grouch Bill Fitch.

Lorenzen Wright doesn’t back down. Darrick Martin’s sudden rise to NBA starting player and Loy Vaught’s return to form helped a team desperate for firepower (their 43% shooting beats only the New Jersey Nets, Philadelphia 76ers, Toronto Raptors and Vancouver Grizzlies) close the first half 5-1.

KINGS--The Joe Btfsplk of the division, they walk around under their own personal rain cloud, like the cartoon character in “Li’l Abner.”

They’re a physical, hard-working crew, but they’re one scorer short. Center Olden Polynice is really a power forward, and a flaky one at that. Tyus Edney, the starting point guard at the end of last season, has been up and down, upset by the trade for Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf.

Even worse, Mitch Richmond, their star and all-around good guy, feuded with General Manager Geoff Petrie, another well-liked, respected man, rocking a team that got off to a 5-12 start.

Since then, though, Mitch has gone back to being Mitch and they’re 16-16.

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS--A wren has a bigger heart than these guys.

It was obvious they’d be in trouble if Don Nelson ever left, since he assembled them according to his peculiar vision, but this has been a three-year meltdown.

People say they look OK on paper but unfortunately they have to play games. Latrell Sprewell--or as he’s now known, “World B. Spree”--gets big minutes and numbers but does what he wants. Teammates rolled their eyes when he put the freeze on Mark Price, a veteran who could make a difference.

Their prize young player, Joe Smith, says he won’t re-sign until they show they’re improving. Ain’t happened yet.

Their old pro, Chris Mullin, deserves better and should be traded soon (he’s 34 and a free agent in ‘98). He’s rooting for a Laker deal.

They’re stuck with Donyell Marshall, a $50-million dud whom Minnesota’s Kevin McHale foisted on them for Gugliotta. Marshall is hopeless and so frustrated, he was thrown out of a practice for yelling at assistant coach George Irvine.

Things got so bad, Price, the choir boy, stomped out of another practice. Said Price, a coach’s son: “I’ll probably get spanked when I get home.”

In a recent game against the Chicago Bulls, they trailed, 35-8, after one quarter and 50-15 in the second. They got into the habit of quitting during the mutiny against Nelson, and they’re still doing it.

DALLAS MAVERICKS--This season’s comedy hit.

The old Don Carter regime was genial but bumbling. The new Ross Perot Jr. makes Dad’s presidential campaigns look sleek and professional.

The first thing that happened after Ross Jr. took over, holdover General Manager Norm Sonju courted Larry Brown, then had to drop it when the Indiana Pacers growled the magic word, “tampering.”

Sonju was sacked. The next general manager, Keith Grant, bailed out during the preseason, whereupon co-owner Frank Zaccanelli took over on an interim basis. Being the dynamic businessman he was, he decided to move a few players while he was there.

Finding scant interest in Jamal Mashburn and Jim Jackson, he did what any Realtor would, move the property he had a buyer for. That was Jason Kidd, the franchise player, who was swapped for the equivalent of $24 worth of beads.

Now Don Nelson takes over as general manager. I have great regard for Nelson, but this is like the fire truck arriving after the barn has burned down.

SUNS--With Charles Barkley aging less gracefully the further he got from contention, they bit the bullet, traded him and started 0-13.

Sunny Danny Ainge rescued them, helped by the returns of Kevin Johnson and Mark Bryant. Then the Mavericks donated Kidd, and the Lakers returned Cedric Ceballos.

They’re 17-18 since and Kidd is due back soon. Their home-loss, road-win total is minus five, the same as the Clippers, so they’re within striking distance.

DENVER NUGGETS--This used to be the House of Mutombo. Now it’s the House of Ervin Johnson.

In one of the dumbest and most predictable moves of the summer, the Nuggets let Dikembe Mutombo go. They hadn’t gone anywhere with him and couldn’t imagine why he’d be worth $10 million a year. (The Atlanta Hawks have since furnished that answer: Get some guys who can score and press and Mutombo will do the rest.)

Bernie Bickerstaff, who made what he now calls “a joint decision,” has moved back upstairs and now is expected to flee to coach the Washington Bullets before the ax falls on him here.

The question now is, will LaPhonso Ellis and Antonio McDyess leave when they’re free agents in ‘98? The betting around the league is, yes.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS--Since getting David Robinson in 1987, they have drafted only three players they still have and two--Sean Elliott and Vern Maxwell--were traded and reacquired for peanuts.

Robinson was pilloried for their postseason swoons but as this season’s collapse demonstrates, there’s nothing else there.

Robinson is due back at the end of the month, but they’re already eight games out of No. 8.

NAMES AND NUMBERS

Next players’ coach: Last season Juwan Howard went out of his way to praise Jimmy Lynam as a players’ coach. However, when Chris Webber asserted after a recent loss at Seattle that the faltering Bullets had the best talent in the league, it was obvious Lynam was a goner. Sure enough, the team quit on him in wipeouts in the Forum and at Utah, and General Manager Wes Unseld fired Lynam. Said Webber, containing his grief: “I don’t know, Wes has won a championship already, so he knows what’s going on. I just figure I’ll just follow his lead.” . . . Warrior owner Chris Cohan, who bought in at the wrong time, just before Webber forced his trade to the Bullets: “I’m not pleased with the present situation at all. I don’t see progress. I see no progress. It’s disappointing, definitely. That doesn’t even really capture the full essence of it. But that’s my best word.”

An ace at making things happen, the Knicks’ John Starks talked so much trash to Charlotte’s Glen Rice in the hall at halftime in Madison Square Garden, teammates jumped between them. Rice scored 23 of his 40 points in the second half and the Hornets won. . . . I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night: Damon Stoudamire, he of the 39% shooting percentage, was so mad at not making the All-Star game, he took his attitude home to Portland, where he said he wouldn’t even watch it on TV. As Raptor player-rep, he was supposed to attend the union meeting in Cleveland, but he sent a player-rep’s rep. Readers may remember I promoted Stoudamire’s candidacy, but if you’re willing to forget it, I certainly am.