What in the Name of Belle Is He Doing?

Some people will go to great lengths when it comes to Albert Belle.

David Henry, a disgruntled Cleveland Indians fan, drove from Ohio to Sarasota, Fla., and scaled an eight-foot-high chain-link fence at the Chicago White Sox spring training facility to confront Belle about why he left for a five-year, $55 million deal.

He didn’t get an explanation, but he did get arrested. Henry, 38, of North Ridgeville, Ohio, was charged with misdemeanor loitering, prowling and felony burglary.

“The guy just yelled his name: ‘Albert do you remember me, I’m from Cleveland?”’ General Manager Ron Schueler said.

The Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported that Henry, who was quickly removed by security personnel, told police he wanted to make sure Belle would “atone for his treatment of Cleveland Indians fans.” Investigators said he also told them that he was the “Biblical Omega Man and was on a mission from God.”

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Add Belle: There’s a job opening with the White Sox: someone to run errands for Belle.

Frank Mancini, a former gofer for Belle in Cleveland, turned down a five-year, $400,000 personal services contract from Belle to accompany him to Chicago.

“I could have followed my pocketbook and gone with Albert, or I could have followed my heart and stayed with the Indians,” Mancini told the Chicago Sun-Times. “I chose to follow my heart.”

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Trivia time: Which are the three public courses that have hosted what is now the Nissan Open?

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Trashing Nellie: Michael Wilbon in the Washington Post: “Don Nelson, ladies and gentlemen, has dramatically altered three teams by making the dumbest, stupidest, most idiotic, ill-conceived, moronic, one-side trade imaginable.”

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Rebuttal: Charles Barkley on Nelson’s disassembling of the Dallas Mavericks:

“Everybody’s jumping on Don Nelson for no reason. Everyone is saying he’s screwing up that team. But let’s get something straight. They were already screwed up. So let’s don’t act like he’s trading away a playoff contender.”

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Salvation Army? New Magic interim Coach Richie Adubato after his Orlando debut: “It’s rough out there. I was sweating. I have to get some cheaper clothes.”

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Down-to-earth guy: PGA Tour pro Brad Bryant, explaining how he got his “Dr. Dirt” nickname:

“Gary McCord gave me the nickname ‘Mr. Dirt’ from a gasoline commercial, and a friend of mine didn’t think it showed enough respect, so he altered it to ‘Dr. Dirt.’ It’s stuck and has been something good instead of something bad.”

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Trivia answer: Rancho Park, Griffith Park and Brookside in Pasadena.

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And finally: Edmonton Oiler prospect Jason Bonsignore, a former first-round pick, has been whining about being in the minor leagues.

“I’d like to put him over my knee and spank him,” Oiler General Manager Glen Sather said, “but in this day and age I guess you couldn’t do that. That would be child abuse.”