-15!

Tiger Woods isn’t going to win the Masters today. Right. And Rae’s Creek will flow backward, the pine trees will bend into pretzels and the 18th fairway will be paved and turned into a parking lot.

All Woods managed to do on a cloudy, breezy, drippy Saturday at Augusta National was shoot a seven-under-par 65 and move so far ahead of the pack, the only way to track him is with radar.

With 18 holes to play, his lead is nine shots over Costantino Rocca. That’s nine shots.

If you’re keeping score at home, that’s a touchdown and a safety.

Woods urged some measure of caution, for some reason.

“I’m nine up, nine shots ahead [and] granted, that’s a pretty big lead and I’m playing well, but I still need to go out there tomorrow and shoot a good number,” he said.

Meanwhile, his closest competitor is not exactly brimming with confidence. But then, neither is anyone else, except Woods.

When he thought about it, Rocca said there is only one way he can catch up.

“Maybe if I only have to play nine holes,” he said.

Woods, the 21-year-old who grew up in Cypress and now lives in Orlando, Fla., has turned the storied golf course into his personal playground the last 2 1/2 rounds.

His nine-shot lead is the largest 54-hole margin in Masters history.

His 66-65 total of 131 for the middle rounds is a Masters record.

His 54-hole score of 201, 15 under, equaled Raymond Floyd’s total set in 1976.

Woods, 21, would be the youngest champion in Masters history. Seve Ballesteros was 23 in 1980.

What’s more, if Woods closes with a 69 or better, he will have the lowest score in Masters history, beating the 271 set by Jack Nicklaus in 1965 and equaled by Floyd in 1976.

Barring unexpected complications, Woods will be getting just what he deserves right before nightfall.

“The only thing I want is a green jacket in my closet,” he said.

Woods had seven birdies, no bogeys and hasn’t had a slip-up. In fact, Woods has made only one bogey in his last 45 holes, which he has played in 19 under par.

The whole thing is sort of ridiculous.

Paul Stankowski is in third place and he’s a mere 10 shots behind at 211 after a 69. Tom Kite, who had a 66, and Tom Watson are at 212 and Jeff Sluman and Colin Montgomerie are tied for sixth at 213.

Chances are, the closest any of them will get to Woods is when they see him in the locker room.

Take Montgomerie. The cheery Scot, who was looking forward to playing alongside Woods, wasn’t nearly as chirpy after the experience.

Montgomerie had a two-over 74 and began his postround news conference this way:

“All I have to say is one brief comment. There is no chance. We’re all human beings here. There’s no chance humanly possible that Tiger is just going to lose this tournament. No way.”

Someone asked Montgomerie why he would say that.

“Have you just come in or have you been away on holiday?”

Of course, there have been premature victory celebrations at this place before . . . such as last year, in fact.

Remember Greg Norman’s six-shot lead over Nick Faldo? Montgomerie does.

“This is very different,” Montgomerie said. “Faldo’s not in second. And Greg Norman’s not Tiger Woods.”

Well, no, he’s not. Woods began the day with a three-shot lead and by the time he had played eight holes, his advantage was eight.

He had four birdies on the front, including both par-five holes, which is typical of the way Woods is overpowering the 6,925-yard course.

In three rounds, Woods has played the par-five holes in 10 under. The Masters record for the par-fives is 15 under by Norman in 1995, so that’s in Woods’ range too.

The first par-five is the 555-yard No. 2. Woods hit an eight-iron approach over the green. But he chipped back to a foot and made it for birdie.

Woods hit a pitching wedge to the par-four fifth and rolled in a putt from 15 feet for birdie. On the par-four seventh, he hit a sand wedge to the green, stopped the ball 12 feet away and made the putt for another birdie.

And on the 535-yard, par-five eighth, he hit a two-iron from 256 yards to 18 feet and two-putted for another birdie.

Woods added three more birdies on the back. He hit a nine-iron to eight feet on the 11th hole and made the putt. He hit a six-iron to 35 feet and two-putted on the par-five 15th. He also birdied the par-four 18th after leaving himself only a sand wedge to the green. Of course, he spun the ball one foot from the hole from 109 yards.

There are advantages to hitting the ball long, and Woods is hitting it really long.

When he thought about it, Woods said he hasn’t hit anything more than a seven-iron into a par-four this week. He said he is not amazed, even if everyone else might be.

“If I drive the ball like I’m doing now--I mean, look at my irons I’m using--I can be aggressive,” he said. “I can spin the ball, hold my distances a lot. That’s a great advantage. And right now, I’m capitalizing on my advantage.”

Kite would have had the day’s best round if not for Woods, but at least the Ryder Cup captain got a close-up look at the guy who might turn out to be his top player in Spain this year.

Kite joked that he isn’t at all intimidated by Woods’ lead.

“We still have it in single digits,” he said.

Kite said he thinks the onslaught by Woods may force Augusta National to defend itself in some way.

“Obviously, the Masters committee has to be a little concerned,” he said. “They’ve got a golf course that’s pretty darned tough and they’ve got somebody just ripping it. So what are they going to do to make this course more difficult in the next few years?

“They certainly could not get the greens any faster. They could not get any more severe pin placements. So what defense does this golf course have other than tightening up the fairways somehow?”

Players and golf courses alike are finding out there is no defense against Woods. Not so far this week, anyway.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

LEADERS

Tiger Woods 70-66-65--201 -15

Costantino Rocca 71-69-70--210 -6

Paul Stankowski 68-74-69--211 -5

Tom Watson 75-68-69--212 -4

Tom Kite 77-69-66--212 -4

COVERAGE

* LEADERS’ SCORECARD C6

* SCORES C6

* HOLE OF THE DAY C6

* TEE TIMES C6

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Lapping the Field The largest leads after 54 holes in the Masters : *--*

LEAD PLAYER (SCORE) YEAR RESULT 9 Tiger Woods (201) 1997 8 Raymond Floyd (201) 1976 Won by 8 strokes 7 Seve Ballesteros (203) 1980 Won by 4 strokes 6 Greg Norman (203) 1996 Finished second by 5 strokes 5 Herman Keiser (208) 1946 Won by 1 stroke 5 Arnold Palmer (211) 1964 Won by 6 strokes 5 Jack Nicklaus (212) 1965 Won by 9 strokes 5 Ed Sneed (204) 1979 Lost in playoff

*--*