A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, played, heard, observed, worn, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here.

What: Victory: The sports collection by John Tesh

Price: $19.95

Paul McCartney said he awoke one morning with a melody in his head and scribbled the words “scrambled eggs” for the song that later became “Yesterday.”

John Tesh had a similar experience, awaking one night in Europe with a haunting melody. With no pen and pad at hand, he called home and sang the song into his answering machine.

The tune became “Roundball Rock,” known to all as the theme music for NBC’s NBA basketball coverage.

Tesh shares this and other stories of his musical inspirations on the back sides of the John Tesh trading cards that accompany his Aug. 5 release of a compilation album “Victory: the sports collection.”

Of course, what Tesh album and trading card set would be complete without a John Tesh “Victory” baseball jersey--”A Great Workout Shirt!”--available by order form for only $19.95.

Did we mention this was about John Tesh?

Let’s just say the guy has all his marketing bases covered.

The music? Say what you will about Tesh the “Entertainment Tonight” co-host or gushing Olympic gymnastics commentator, the man is an Emmy-awarding winning composer of new age jazz.

Of the 13 tracks on his latest CD, we like best the snappy live version of “Spanish Steps,” although we’re here to dispel the rumor that the track played backward reveals the cryptic message, “Mary Hart is a Horse’s Behind.”

Tesh making an album isn’t “William Shatner Sings Show Tunes.” Tesh is an accomplished musician. He plays acoustic piano, synthesizer and synclavier drums on his latest effort.

We could, however, do without the seemingly self-obsessed self-promotion from a man who put out the CD on his own label, GTSP Records.

Bravo, of course, if this is all self-mockery.

If you can’t plunk down the dough for the whole of Tesh-mania, heed not. His music is coming soon to an elevator near you.