Home May Be Where Chiefs’ Playoff Heart Is

A review of Week 15 in the NFL, and sure, it looks now as if the Kansas City Chiefs are a lock for home-field advantage through the playoffs, but altogether now, what happens to a Marty Schottenheimer-coached team once it makes the playoffs?

It’s a Wonderful Life

As the 49ers entered their locker room after beating the Vikings, the players began chanting, “Eddie! Eddie!” in honor of team owner Eddie DeBartolo, who turned over team management (wink, wink) to his sister in anticipation of being indicted for gambling fraud.

This display of genuine affection, for the man who overpays the 49ers, suggests he will never run out of friends, should it ever come to the point that he needs some on visiting day.

Two for Three Ain’t Bad

Charger General Manager Bobby Beathard, who hit home runs in his first two tries at hiring coaches with Joe Gibbs and Bobby Ross, appears to have struck out with Kevin Gilbride.

Gilbride joined the Chargers with a reputation for knowing offense, but his team has failed to score a touchdown in five of its games this season and now, for the first time since 1988, the Chargers have lost six games in a row.

Gilbride, who went to war with the media in San Diego shortly after arriving, has steadfastly refused to make himself available for explanation each Tuesday, despite a number of significant personnel moves calling for the coach’s comments. Gilbride’s excuse: He has been too busy working on the team’s offensive game plan.

What’s to work on? All he has to do is make sure he yells “Punt!” good and loud.

Notify Ripley’s

New England quarterback Drew Bledsoe has gone three games without throwing an interception and--sit down--it can now be said that Bledsoe has won a big game in beating Jacksonville.

Oxygen, please, the Patriots have won three consecutive games despite having been outgained by the opposition in each.

Inquiring Minds

Want to know what’s so special about bratwurst? Johnsonville Foods grilled 36,000 brats for the more than 30,000 Packer fans who went to Tampa to watch their team Sunday, and company spokesman Christian Gridley said, “The exact formula [for making brats] is secret. In fact, there are only two people in the company who know the recipe and I don’t know who they are.”

Packer fan Bill Mansur of Plover, Wis., said, in effect, hogwash:

“Basically, they take anything that falls off the pig and add a few spices.”

And then a piece of foam-rubber cheese starts growing out of your head.

Some Days

It doesn’t pay to get up: Adrian Murrell tried running five times for the Jets and finished the afternoon with seven yards. . . . Napoleon Kaufman ran eight times, presumably forward, but gained only seven yards. . . . The Oakland offense, led by quarterback Jeff George, rolled up 36 yards on the ground and 57 yards through the air, accounting for five first downs, prompting George to yell at Kansas City linebacker Antonio Davis, “Hey, stop blitzing--you guys won.” Domination, baby.

More Raider Funny Stuff

Wide receiver Tim Brown says he has had it with the Oakland play-calling.

“You have my word that in the next couple of weeks, it ain’t gonna go down like that,” he said. “If I have to have my own wristband with plays on it, then that’s what I’ll do. Because I’m not going to go out and get embarrassed like this the next couple of weeks. If I don’t like the game plan, if certain things are not being called, then I’m going to have plays ready to run.”

If Al Davis can call plays from the press box, why not Tim Brown in the huddle?

Zero Tolerance

The Chief defense has not allowed a touchdown the last two weeks, and hasn’t given up a touchdown in the second half of the last nine games. Not bad when you consider the defense has gone against four of the NFL’s top seven offenses in that stretch.

Next up: The Chargers and Saints.

Teams to Watch

1. New York Giants: Must we? If they beat the Redskins on Saturday they win the NFC East Division, becoming prime candidates to be knocked off by a wild-card team in the first round of the playoffs.

2. Miami-New England: They play each other in Miami on the Monday night season-closer and if the Patriots beat the Steelers and the Dolphins take care of the Colts this weekend, they will be playing for the AFC East Division title.

3. San Francisco: They aren’t really that good, but a victory over Denver or Seattle and the 49ers clinch the NFC home-field advantage, probably forcing the Packers to leave Lambeau Field for a West Coast NFC championship game.

Get a Clue

After the Vikings had lost their fourth consecutive game, quarterback Randall Cunningham said, “I truly believe we can still go to the Super Bowl. I have something in my gut telling me this team can still do it.”

Take two Tums, and that feeling will pass.

Nice Touch

On the front page of Monday’s Tampa Tribune was a reflection on the Buccaneers’ defeat by Green Bay, in which it was noted that former quarterback Doug Williams, recently named coach at Grambling, had returned as the Buccaneers’ honorary captain for the day.

Williams left Tampa Bay after battling former owner Hugh Culverhouse and went to Washington, where he won a Super Bowl.

“Williams sat in the private owner’s box of Hugh Culverhouse at the game,” reported the newspaper, “which was like Marcia Clark sitting in O.J.’s Jacuzzi.”

And Finally

Cutting through all the what-ifs and what-might-have-beens in Seattle, defensive end Michael Sinclair said, “We always find a way to lose.”