To Live and Park in L.A.

A car parked at the top of a hill in the View Park section of L.A. suddenly rolled down, plowing into another parked car, which in turn crashed backward into a third car. All three suffered extensive damage. When a police officer arrived on the scene, he said: “Amazing. A three-car collision, with no drivers!”

MIDAIR BOUT: Whatever happened between the Rev. Robert Schuller and the flight attendant during their alleged scuffle on an L.A. to New York airliner, one thing is certain. No one is accusing Schuller of biting either ear of the attendant.

BY THE NUMBERS: Marsha Ried found a restaurant in Chatsworth named Sushi 911 (see photo). One assumes the name relates to emergencies no more serious than hunger pains.

LET “A” REPRESENT THE NUMBER OF EGG ROLLS: Still on the dining trail, Tom Greene, meanwhile, found a notation on the menu of a Chinese restaurant in Palos Verdes that sounded like a surprise algebra quiz.

In the section discussing full-course meals, the menu said:

“Minimum of 2 persons for A, B or C Dinner (not a combination of A and B or C). However, any B or C entree can be substituted for one in an A Dinner, and a C entree can be substituted for one in a B dinner, but no B or A entree can be substituted for a C dinner entree, nor can an A dinner entree be substituted for a B dinner entree.” Not a combination of A and B or C? Help! Sushi 911!

IS IT CONTAGIOUS? Ken Knoetgen of Huntington Beach came across an ad touting the “itchings” of Norman Rockwell (see accompanying). Don’t know about you, but I’m not one of those fans interested in the personal life of an artist.

AIRBORNE MIND-READER: Carol Harrison saw a “fabulous” Fourth of July fireworks show at Santa Monica College (actually, it was a 28th of June fireworks show) and as everyone watched, a plane appeared overhead. It pulled a banner that said, “OOOHHH & AAAHHH.”

WHEN GLENDALE WELCOMED SPACE ALIENS: The 50th anniversary of the alleged flying-saucer incident in Roswell, N.M., prompted writer Rockey Spicer to recall that early UFO era when he was press spokesman for Western Airlines in L.A. “My wife and I held soirees on our lawn in Glendale,” he said. “Fortified with a sink-full of iced beer, we all lay on our backs, scanning the skies for saucers. No luck.”

(No doubt, UFO backers would say it was something about Glendale . . . )

Spicer also related how L.A. reporter Don Dwiggins and photographer Don Hoster attended a convention of flying-saucer believers in Mojave.

Space aliens were rumored to be among the attendees but the two had little luck until they heard a report about a Venusian with “long black hair, a dead white face, piercing azure eyes, skin-tight pants and a tunic made of a leather-like material.”

Talk about a Pulitzer Prize opportunity.

Hoster spotted her and asked, “Are you from Venus?”

“No,” she replied. “Venice.”

miscelLAny

Like most every other movie-goer, I was a big fan of Jimmy Stewart, who died Wednesday. I even forgave him for the movie, “Harvey,” about his imaginary, big-eared friend, though it inspired classmates to give me my least-favorite nickname, “Harvey the Rabbit.”

Steve Harvey can be reached (A) by phone at (213) 237-7083, (B) by fax at (213) 237-4712, (C) by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com, (D) by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053, or (E) all of the above.