Punch Lines

They’re At It Again: Those Scottish scientists who cloned Dolly the sheep have now developed Polly, a sheep with a human gene. Says the Cutler Daily Scoop, “The sheep produces wool--but it really wants to direct.”

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On the Tube: The Emmy nominations have been announced. HBO, with 90 nominations, led every network. “Yep. Must See TV lost out to Must Call My Cable Company.” (Daily Scoop)

* “ ‘ER’ got 20 nominations. George Clooney got none. That’s OK. Just wait until they hand out the Oscars for ‘Batman.’ ” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

* “Ellen DeGeneres was nominated for best actress in a comedy series that dragged out its major plot twist for a whole season.” (Daily Scoop)

“Shaquille O’Neal will make a guest appearance on ‘Baywatch’ this fall,” says Steve Voldseth. “It will be the first appearance on the show by an actor who measures 7 feet, 1 inch vertically.”

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In the News: An Anaheim man was arrested after he climbed over the wall at O.J. Simpson’s former Brentwood home. “He denied the charges of burglary, claiming he was planted there by the police.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Contradicting testimony and documents, former Republican National Committee Chairman Haley Barbour denies knowing foreign money backed a loan to his think tank. “Somebody loans Haley Barbour $2 million, and he doesn’t know who? Remind us not to lend him our lawn mower.” (Daily Scoop)

“The computer industry wants to regulate online smut,” says Alan Ray. “The concern is real. If parents wanted their kids to see and hear that kind of behavior, they would enlist them in the Army.”

Concerned Women for America is boycotting Disney because of the “tiny little seashells” the Little Mermaid wears to cover her breasts. They say this sends the wrong message to children. “Snow White can live with seven men, but that’s no problem because she’s fully dressed?” (Daily Scoop)

The latest sports craze is to wear magnets, which supposedly ease pain and increase circulation to improve performance, says Jay Leno. “They say even Olympic athletes are using them. Is that a good idea? I mean, what if you’re a javelin thrower?”

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AOL Follies: Due to customer outrage, America Online has canceled its plan to sell its subscribers’ phone numbers to phone solicitors. “Why is America Online so good at apologizing to angry clients? Practice, lots of practice.” (Kaseberg)

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Reader Joan Mortenson says her daughter, Nancy, gave her 2 1/2-year-old son, Jacob, three candy kisses--one for himself and one each for his brother and a friend. He went a little way down the street and then come back looking worried.

“I can’t remember which one is mine.”