Another Running of Bulls in Chicago

Here’s something else to be thankful for: I don’t care if you gained five pounds, still have heartburn and your mother-in-law is staying till Christmas.

You still had a better Thanksgiving than these guys. . . .

BULLS WERE ON A TRIP, SCOTTIE WAS TRIPPING

The question all along has been, with all the Chicago Bulls’ inner turmoil, could they survive bad times? Let’s just say last week wasn’t promising.

Noted loose cannon Scottie Pippen went wacko, demanding a trade, vowing never to play for them again, dropping off resumes at every opportunity on their West Coast swing.

* Phoenix--Asked if the Suns would be attractive to him if the Bulls are broken up, Pippen answers:

“They’d be attractive, whether the team is broken up or not.”

* Los Angeles--In a concession to reality that will prove rare, Pippen says he doesn’t think General Manager Jerry Krause “would trade me at gunpoint right now,” adding: “I think he’s chicken. He’s been trying to win fans ever since I’ve been in Chicago.”

* Sacramento--Back in Never-Never Land, Pippen demands a trade, suggesting he’s not hurt.

* Seattle--Zenmeister/spinmeister Phil Jackson suggests Pippen was kidding. Pippen says he was serious. “I think I’ve been treated unfairly by this organization,” he says. “It’s gotten to the point now where I don’t see myself carrying on with it.” Guess again. Jerry West certainly won’t give up Eddie Jones. Boston’s Rick Pitino won’t even deal Ron Mercer and Chauncey Billups, whom he offered last spring. Pitino says he’s interested “if they wanted to do something that would allow us to keep our primary players.”

Good thinking. Pippen for Andrew LeClerq, Walter McCarty and Dontae’ Jones.

Meanwhile, Michael Jordan isn’t leaping to the defense of his best friend on the team. The Chicago Tribune reported Jordan, on a team bus in Seattle, asked, “What’s with that guy?”

S.O.S., Same Old Scottie. Pippen quit in a playoff game, called Bull fans “racists” and complained about his pay--though he concedes owner Jerry Reinsdorf advised him not to lock himself in years ago--without damaging his career too badly.

This, too, may pass. There are no other powerhouses in the East. The Bulls may have become an unseemly parody of themselves, but they aren’t gone yet. Pippen can make do on his $2.8-million salary . . . plus his $8 million to $10 million in endorsements.

Suggestion for Pippen: Next time, take a deep breath and a double shot of that ginseng.

HE’S DOING HIS JOB, THEY’RE PLAYING BADLY

The Detroit Pistons dropped their 10th game, almost two months ahead of last season’s pace. Wrapped-way-too-tight Coach Doug Collins blamed his players, an NBA way of bidding farewell.

Said Collins: “It’s not coaching. . . . I’ve put my heart and soul into his thing for 2 1/2 years. I don’t want to see it all go up in flames because our guys don’t get the message of what you have to do to win.

“It’s on them. I am not trying to step out of it. I am the leader of the ship and I don’t want anybody to think I’m deserting [he got his pay doubled and his contract shortened to one season last summer], but . . . they can’t feel sorry for themselves, they can’t get down; they have to fight out of it.”

Players are actually united in a common desire to choke Collins. They complain he changes lineups and puts in so many new plays hours before games, they don’t know what they’re doing. At Charlotte, he called a play and rookie Scot Pollard ran into the corner and threw up his hands.

Said an unnamed Piston to the Detroit News: “It’s like he’s bailing out on us.”

Before the season, people wondered how long Collins would be around. The over/under has just been moved up to the All-Star game.

BIG D AS IN ‘DONE FOR’

People wondered how long Dallas Maverick Coach Jim Cleamons would last under General Manager Don Nelson. As if to highlight their philosophical differences, Cleamons installed the triangle offense that has worked so well in Chicago and gotten coaches fired everywhere else.

If nothing else, this let the players know whom they preferred, and it wasn’t Clem.

In one loss, Dennis Scott got into an ugly shouting match with assistant coach Butch Beard after he was pulled on a defensive possession, then told to go back in.

Scott yelled, “I’m not a . . . yo-yo, Butch, so don’t talk to me like that!” He continued shouting at Beard from the floor, while teammate A.C. Green tried to cool him down.

Scott apologized. Two days later, the shaken Mavericks lost, 83-62, to the Milwaukee Bucks, their lowest-scoring game ever.

“Guys are like robots out there,” Samaki Walker said. “We have a couple of guys [playing] and the rest are just standing around. It’s definitely embarrassing.”

They even lost at home to the winless Golden State Warriors, before a big crowd on the night Green set his record for consecutive games played. Warrior players said Coach P.J. Carlesimo told them if they didn’t beat the Mavericks, they didn’t belong in the league.

NOT THAT THIS MEANS THEY DO BELONG . . .

At Golden State, the implosion keeps imploding.

The Warriors have some talent but no luck in getting it to play. They have offed three coaches in three seasons--Nelson, Bob Lanier, Rick Adelman--and Carlesimo would be in trouble except for a five-year contract that should enable him to outlast most of his players.

Carlesimo has had the usual problems with Latrell Sprewell and is taking offers for Joe Smith, a free agent who isn’t coming back. The pair get so many shots, up-and-coming Donyell Marshall says he’s rebounding better because “I’ve got to get my shots somehow.”

Last week, Carlesimo, who likes to hush up turmoil, was so upset, he railed publicly about his players’ effort at a practice.

Anyone who wants Sprewell and Smith, just ring Carlesimo. The price is dropping weekly.

RAPTORS SOW WIND, REAP THE WHIRLWIND

The NBA has never had a more complex star than Isiah Thomas, who is, by turns, gifted, endearing, big-hearted, devious and ambitious to the point of megalomania.

In his final days in Detroit, he leaked word of a huge deal he was going to get to run the Pistons from owner and longtime sponsor Bob Davidson, so angering Davidson that he cut Isiah loose.

Landing on his feet, Thomas became general manager and 9% owner in Toronto, one-upping one-time buddy Magic Johnson, whose ownership bid had failed. Isiah’s tenure featured one coup (Damon Stoudamire), one bad mistake (taking Marcus Camby over Shareef Abdur-Rahim), the now-traditional split with owner Don Slaight (he now calls Thomas “a piece of work”) and the now-traditional hop to safe ground at NBC.

But this was Thomas’ team, and no Thomas, no team. Stoudamire, a free agent-to-be, was so close to Thomas, he didn’t have an agent, but he just hired one. Thomas’ coach, Darrell Walker, who has quarreled with Slaight’s people, won’t last long.

The Raptors, who had been respectable, now look like an expansion team. The league bears its own responsibility, with its Draconian rule, barring the new teams from the top pick in the draft for their first four years.

OK, now ask them in Toronto how “fan-tastic” this NBA is.

FACES AND FIGURES

Pitino was once John Calipari’s counselor in a basketball camp, and his recommendation got Calipari the Massachusetts job, but Calipari now seems to want to gnaw on his mentor’s legend and Pitino doesn’t seem to need any more proteges. Said Calipari after beating the Celtics in New Jersey: “It’s going to be a mudslinging, old-fashioned, in-your-face, whack- you-as-much-as-I-can, all-out war for both organizations.” . . . Said Pitino after the Celtics beat the Nets in Boston: “We certainly have a long way to go before we build any rivalries. Now maybe he thinks his team’s arrived and rivalries are going to be established, but we’re not at that point.” . . . Hold that Laker rivalry too: Pitino, after the 118-103 loss to the Lakers: “I was very disappointed tonight. I haven’t been disappointed in this team yet. They’ve played poorly on given nights, but I’m very disappointed in this. I’d like to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving with your families. I don’t want to say anything negative, so I’d rather not say anything at all.” . . . Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy, tiring of being asked if he was proud of his players for not leaving the bench during an Otis Thorpe-Charles Oakley square-off: “I think we’re going to have to listen to those poor jokes until the end of the year. Every time we’ve had something, everyone has tried to be the yukster. I don’t think anybody is going to Def Comedy Jam with that line.”