When the Good Star in the Bad, It Can Be Ugly

Julie Harris once starred in a comedy about a pickle factory. Robert Mitchum played a cranky homeless man impersonating the grandfather of four orphans in “A Family for Joe.” And Jack Warden found himself in “Crazy Like a Fox,” a detective show smelling like a lox.

Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, Gene Kelly, Joe Pesci, Charles Durning, Diana Rigg, Ed Asner and Treat Williams are just a few of the other stellar talents who blundered into shows far beneath them.

So there’s ample precedent for this season’s really good actors who are stranded in really bad new series.

One is “Dellaventura” star Danny Aiello, a burly behemoth of a character actor whose consistently good work in many, many theatrical movies speaks impressively for itself, my own favorite being his besieged Brooklyn pizza parlor operator in Spike Lee’s seething “Do the Right Thing.”

But now comes “Dellaventura,” a huge snore of an hour on CBS about a stony, menacing-but-mushy-hearted private eye and former cop who is so puffed up with droning pontification and self-importance that he could burst at any time.

Wearing tiny shades and mortician’s black while whooshing across New York City on his own gusts of superiority, Anthony Dellaventura has to be the most undeservedly pretentious protagonist on TV. Tuesday’s episode was typical, with Dellaventura at once clearing a murdered cop and close friend suspected of being on the take from drug dealers and fingering the real culprit in the department.

Thin script, predictable villain, all-knowing, omnipotent hero and so on and so on. In many respects, it was familiar and ordinary TV, the difference here being Dellaventura himself, someone whose turgid, pious voice-over commentaries on humankind, ranging from his own food tastes (“Heaven to me is a bagel for breakfast. . . .”) to survival on the street, are delivered as if from a stone tablet or Confucius.

You can’t just step over someone who is lying on the sidewalk, not without losing a piece of your soul.

That referred to Dellaventura’s taking an interest in a confused old man who was alone on the pavement. A kind gesture, except that he went on and on about it.

Every man who lives on the street is someone’s father, someone’s son. . . .

Inevitably, he patted himself on the back for reuniting the elderly man with his family.

This is a city of fathers and daughters. . . . Blah, blah, blah.

Oh, stuff it!

This opinion of “Dellaventura” is hardly shared by all. Despite ranking a fairly weak third in its time slot in audience ratings Tuesday behind ABC’s tough “NYPD Blue” and NBC coverage of baseball’s National League Championship Series, “Dellaventura” did attract nearly 10 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research.

No doubt they’re Aiello groupies who recall his better times.

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Another talent being squandered is Harley Jane Kozak, hopelessly adrift in “You Wish,” that infantile ABC comedy about a genie (John Ales) whose release from being rolled up in a carpet for 2,000 years has him joining the household of a divorced mom and her two kids and getting down to serious high jinks. Kozak is the mom.

Kozak’s resume features a slew of movie and TV roles that showed off her sizable comedic skills. She’s a natural with all the right stuff, though little of it is visible in this low-brow half hour that has her playing straight woman to the kind of clown who would try to get laughs from wearing a lampshade on his head. Things aren’t likely to improve much with Jerry Van Dyke being added to the cast.

Just how Kozak got rolled up in this series, even a genie couldn’t figure out in 2,000 years.

By the way, “You Wish” ranked third (out of four programs) in its time slot last week, attracting an estimated 10.4 million viewers, all believing, I’m certain, that you can’t just step over someone lying in a carpet, not without losing a piece of your soul.

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Now for really good shows that are stranded in really bad time slots.

Topping the list, of course, is ABC’s just-too-smart-and-terrific-to-be-canceled “Nothing Sacred,” which ranked an ominous 82nd in last week’s ratings, getting blasted Thursday night by mighty NBC comedies “Friends” and newcomer “Union Square,” CBS’ “Promised Land” and Fox’s coverage of an American League Championship game.

Start the prayers. All that may save “Nothing Sacred” is ABC’s justifiable fear that killing this controversial series about an unconventional Catholic priest and his church colleagues would make it appear that the network was appeasing the show’s Catholic critics instead of acting independently.

Well, “Nothing Sacred” should be preserved, if only because in addition to being artful, tender and moving, it’s rare TV that makes viewers think. At least be thankful that there are 6.1 million viewers--the estimated audience for last week’s episode--who believe that’s a fine idea.

Another time slot-burdened new series that deserves much better is WB’s “Alright Already,” whose ratings were the lowest on last week’s Nielsen list.

The estimated 2.3 million people who did tune in saw one of the funniest episodes of the sitcom’s brief life, a stunningly well-written and satirical one dwelling on a cutthroat Mah Jongg tournament ultimately pitting mother against daughter for their Florida condo-complex championship and slipping in some Marlon Brando-Rod Steiger dialogue from “On the Waterfront.”

“Alright Already” coulda been somebody instead of a bum in the Nielsens--which it is--were it not for the show’s concluding a WB Sunday night that last week was prime-time’s least watched. On still-toddling WB, there are no prize time slots yet.

With “Alright Already” and Fox’s “The X-Files” apparently competing for the same hipper, younger set at 9:30 p.m. Sundays, it looks grim for the WB series, even though, when in form, it’s the strongest of the season’s new comedies, and its creator and star, Carol Leifer, is one of TV’s best, brightest and funniest.

What a shame should “Alright Already” disappear. After all, 2.3 million viewers can’t be wrong.