We Won’t Even Discuss Getting to First Base

Joan Ryan in the Sporting News, countering Bryan Burwell’s 20 reasons why football is a much better spectator sport than baseball:

“I still love football, but now I see it for what it is--a splashy date. It shows up once a week, loud and cocky and exciting.

“You go steady with football.

“Baseball, you marry.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most passes caught in a game?

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Loyal to the end: A company has begun offering coffins in colors of Germany’s soccer clubs, in case fans want to stay true to their favorite team even after “the final whistle,” as the company put it.

The Ahorn company, which has 80 outlets nationwide, said it got the idea when a fan of Bayern Munich demanded that his coffin be painted in team colors.

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How do you know? Dallas guard Nate Newton, 35, acknowledging that the Cowboys aren’t the same team that was winning Super Bowls a few years ago:

“When I was the baddest man in the land, I told you. I ain’t the baddest man in the land [now]. But you know what? I’m still better than 80% of the guards out there.”

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Did he hold out for $2? According to Variety, Woody Harrelson plans to star in the story of former major league pitcher Bill Lee, whose nickname was “Spaceman.”

Lee, known for his oddball comments, reportedly sold screenwriter Paul Tatara the rights to his life story. For $1.

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For what it’s worth: The highest-paid coach in college football? According to the Chronicle of Higher Education, which keeps track of such vital matters, it’s John Robinson of USC, who gets $484,250 in annual salary and $20,766 in benefits.

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NFL orphans: The Tennessee Oilers are suffering poor attendance in their temporary home in Memphis, but Thomas Harding of the Memphis Commercial Appeal reports that the Oilers are even less popular in their former home, Houston:

“The Houston Chronicle recently asked its readers if they wanted the newspaper to cover the Oilers this season.

“More than 30,000 responded and it was four to one against coverage. When the newspaper has printed stories, readers have flooded the phone lines to complain.”

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Vicious! From Jay Leno: “Tonya Harding had her truck stolen again. Boy, if anyone should know how to use The Club, it’s Tonya.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1988, the Dodgers defeated the Oakland Athletics, 4-3, in Game 4 of the World Series. The next day, the Dodgers won again, 5-2, taking the series in five games.

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Trivia answer: Tom Fears of the Rams, 18, against Green Bay on Dec. 3, 1950.

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And finally: Jeff Thorner, 63, a retired school administrator, accomplished his dream of playing 50 golf courses in all 50 states in only 50 days.

As the ball fell into the final hole last week at the San Geronimo golf course, about 20 miles north of San Francisco, he raised his arms triumphantly and his wife, Cecilia, gave him a hug.

His average score was 89.3. His goal had been 90. He traveled 11,000 miles at a cost of more than $20,000.