It May Take a Saint to Save Shuler’s Job

A review of Week 3 in the NFL, and so, Heath Shuler, any last words before meeting with Mike Ditka?

Three Teams to Watch Closer

1, Tampa Bay--Checking with the Vatican to see if this qualifies as a miracle.

2, Indianapolis--Offensive line could be indicted for attempted manslaughter after Jim Harbaugh is sacked 16 times in three games.

3, Minnesota--Losing at home to the Buccaneers might be reason enough to pack away the equipment and go ice fishing.

This Week’s Trend

Wayward New York kickers, and isn’t that just too bad.

1, Brad Daluiso had the first PAT in his career blocked, missed two 41-yard field-goal attempts and the Giants lost by one point;

2, John Hall hit six of the first seven field-goal attempts in his young, and potentially brief, NFL career, including two beyond 50 yards, and had to hit from only 29 yards to tear the heart out of Patriot fans. Now he’s hoping Bill Parcells doesn’t rip into him.

Helped Itself the Most

Cincinnati. You can’t fall short of expectations if you don’t play.

Hurt Itself the Most

Chicago. The Monsters of the Midway are horrific. Running back Rashaan Salaam broke his leg, however, and will only be fumbling with crutches for the remainder of the year.

As Sure as the Sun Comes Up

Atlanta quarterback Chris Chandler got hurt--this time a bruised sternum.

Return to Glory

The Raiders had 13 penalties, two more than any other team this week.

If All the Planets

Are Aligned Correctly

Soldier Field will host one of the NFL’s all-time garbage games in three weeks featuring the 0-5 New Orleans Saints and the 0-5 Chicago Bears. The Bears will hold up their end playing at New England and at Dallas the next two weeks, but if this is truly going to be the debacle of the ages, the Saints must lose at home to Detroit and on the road to the Giants.

Luck--the Only Explanation

Tampa Bay quarterback Trent Dilfer has thrown 70 passes without an interception.

Everyone Can’t Be Wrong

Football coaches would like everyone to believe it takes years and years of training and extraordinary know-how to run a football team. Hey, give the ball to Barry Sanders, and he will gain 161 yards and you will win big.

This Week’s Quiz

Name the last player to score a touchdown on offense for the Colts. Raymond Berry? Close. Ken Dilger last December.

Big Play

The most electrifying one-yard run for a touchdown you will ever see thanks to the determination of Tampa Bay’s Mike Alstott. Alstott ran into a pile of Viking defenders at the goal line, retreated, broke free of one tackler and then wrestled with another before carrying him into the end zone. There’s just no stopping these guys.

Big Blunder

Letting the Big Tuna get away as coach. The Patriots had 10 men on the field at one point Sunday, then 12 and called a fourth timeout although they are allotted only three. I know Bill Parcells, and, Pete Carroll, you are no Bill Parcells.

Still Waiting For

Just a glimpse of Kevin Gilbride’s offensive genius in San Diego.

Is This Fair?

Matching San Francisco cornerback Rod Woodson, named to the NFL’s 75th all-time defensive team, against the likes of Shuler and Danny Wuerffel? No, and that’s why he had three interceptions.

Much Ado About Nothing

Jeff George returns to Atlanta, takes a victory lap and suggests they ought to rename the Georgia Dome the George Dome. The guy handed the ball to Napoleon Kaufman, who ran wild.

Stats to Ponder

The Packers have not allowed the opposition to score a touchdown on its opening drive in 20 consecutive games. . . . The Giants had four rushing touchdowns in 16 games a year ago; they have five so far this season. . . . Atlanta’s Billy Joe Tolliver threw his 49th touchdown pass--his first since 1994. . . . Baltimore running back Jay Graham went into full retreat--running six times and going backward for a loss of four yards.

Three Reasons for the Cheeseheads to Worry

1. Injuries have brought the Packers back to the pack;

2. The running game looks suspect;

3. They’ll be stuck in Green Bay come January instead of sunning themselves in San Diego.

The Goat of the Week Is:

Miami Coach Jimmy Johnson. Fourth and 11 from his team’s 32 in the third quarter, the Packers are winning, 13-12, but it’s still anybody’s game, and Johnson calls for a fake punt. Not only that, he has a lumbering Bernie Parmalee take the snap from center and plow up the middle only to be stopped after two yards. As Barry Switzer would say, “Hells bells, that’s just plain dumb.”

And the Week’s MVP Is:

Washington wide receiver Michael Westbrook. But you wonder: After he caught a touchdown pass to give the Redskins an overtime victory and was mobbed by teammates, did anyone sucker punch him in the pileup?