New England Clamor Decries Patriot Retreat

Cities at war: Things are getting nasty in the fight between the Boston-Foxboro area and Providence, R.I., which is trying to lure the New England Patriots.

Writes Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnicle:

“Rhode Island is the only state in the union where residents spend more time planning automobile accidents and insurance rip-offs than kids’ birthday parties.

“Downtown Providence is indeed very nice, with fine hotels and a convention center better than anything Boston has to offer. But it is all owned by Wall Street bond firms because Buddy [Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci] has hocked most of the city.”

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Trivia time: What major league team holds the one-season record for grand slams?

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The buffet man: The Sporting News’ Steve Marantz, on Dodger Mike Piazza’s wait to play in a World Series:

“Mike Piazza . . . he’s the guy who arrives at the all-you-can-eat buffet 10 minutes before closing, but only carrot and celery sticks remain.”

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Go ahead, splurge: Conde Nast Sports for Women suggests an around-the-world, 22-day golf tour on the Concorde, for golfers weary of their local links.

Stops include Tahiti, Bali, Thailand, Dubai, New Caledonia and Brazil.

Tab: $49,000.

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Ouch! Former NFL tight end Bob Trumpy, in rating pass receivers for Inside Sports magazine, called San Diego’s Eric Metcalf “a gutless wonder” and the league’s “most cowardly receiver.”

Wrote Trumpy: “Metcalf is in a league of his own on this front. I’ve never seen anyone else dive to the ground more often to avoid contact. I have no use for him.”

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Add Trumpy: He called the New York Jets’ Keyshawn Johnson “an ego tripper” and predicted Coach Bill Parcells won’t show much patience with the former USC standout.

Trumpy: “Johnson . . . should spend some time with his quarterback in the off-season or before practice.

“Parcells won’t invest much time in this guy at the expense of his other players. The coach’s attitude is: ‘Shut up and play.’ If Johnson doesn’t do that, Parcells will get rid of him.”

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Trivia answer: This year’s Atlanta Braves, with 12.

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And finally: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune offered this advice to Chicago Bears’ owner Mike McCaskey: “Bring back Rudy Bukich.”