Taping Pals the Tripp Way

Mrs. MacIntosh walked into her daughter Blossom’s room and found her taping a Radio Shack recorder to her hip.

“What are you doing?” Mrs. MacIntosh asked.

“I plan to tape-record my best friend, Mona,” Blossom replied.

“Why?”

“All the kids are doing it. It’s the only way we can get the goods on our buddies.”

Mrs. MacIntosh said, “But that’s dirty pool. You’re not supposed to record your best friend.”

“She says she’s having an affair with the principal. But I have no proof of it. If I can get her to talk, I’ll have everything down for the Parent Teacher Assn.”

“But it’s so unseemly.”

“Mom, don’t you understand what it is like in the real world? People talk, but it’s rare that anyone has corroboration. Mona tells me everything.”

“Like what?”

“Whenever she is sent to the principal’s office for misbehaving, he makes a pass at her. He also buys her presents and she calls him Big Bozo. If you heard the tapes, you’d agree they’re spellbinding.”

“Blossom, it’s against the law to tape another person without her knowledge.”

“When they hear my tape, I’ll get immunity.”

“Isn’t there any way I can persuade you that what you’re doing is a very bad idea?”

“I doubt it. Tape-recording is like smoking--once you start, it’s impossible to give it up. Mona said that tonight she is going to tell me how the principal made her get him an egg salad sandwich when she was sent to his office for punishment.”

Mrs. MacIntosh said, “I don’t want to be a party to this. In our day, you didn’t tape your friends. You shared confidences with them. That is what they were there for.”

“Mona would tape-record me if she had the opportunity.”

“All right, do what you want to, but I hope you don’t get caught.”

“I won’t. No one can see the microphone in my hair.”

“You have it all thought out. Where did you learn all this?”

“I’ve been watching Linda Tripp. She is a role model to all of us.”

“The kids like her?”

“Is Elton John British?”