A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, played, heard, observed, worn, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here.

What: Jim Rome’s “Welcome to the Jungle” compact disc

Price: $16.99

Welcome to Jim Rome’s jungle. If you’ve never heard the popular syndicated sports talk show host, his first compact disc is a good place for a quick lesson in Rome-speak--or smack talk.

If you classify yourself as an excessively imitative fan of his show-- a “clone”--the disc is entertaining enough to keep you listening. Although longtime followers of the show will hear things they’ve heard before--such as: “Bowling is not a sport, it’s a recreation because anything you get better at when drinking alcohol cannot be a sport”--it’s not all regurgitated smack from Rome or some of his best callers.

But some of the best parts of the CD come from Rome’s most popular callers, including Lisa in Green Bay and Dr. Michael DiTolla.

You say you can’t understand what Screaming Mike is shouting? Neither can San Diego Padre President Larry Lucchino, who says on the CD, “It’s like a foreign language. I can understand it better than I can speak it.”

Rome doesn’t waste much time explaining who he is and what he does. You learn about “jungle karma” that keeps certain guests coming back because of good luck that follows them after appearing on his show: “I don’t understand it. I don’t want to understand it. I just know it’s true,” Rome says.

You learn about Rome’s affection for his ardent followers: “My favorite people are the clones,” he says. “If I could be anybody other than me, I’d be a clone.”

Still having a hard time understanding it all? No need to worry, there are 50 definitions of Rome’s “gloss” listed on the CD cover from amped (excited) to yobless (unemployed).

It’s not all sports. At one point, Rome talks about the television show “COPS” and wonders why it always seems to take place in the same state, the “swampland of Florida.”

There is music, including the Guns N’ Roses song that bears the CD’s name. You’ll hear “Up All Night” from the Boomtown Rats and songs from Crystal Method, Iggy Pop and the Ramones.

There’ also a warning of sorts: “You might not agree with all the takes on this CD. But I don’t really care,” Rome says.