This Lineup May or May Not Bowl You Over

In an attempt to assist you, the harried television viewer, through the confusing and chaotic college bowl season, we offer as a public service the Jeep Toyota McDonald’s Chick-fil-A Builder’s Square Culligan AXA/Equitable Norwest Southwestern Bell Sanford Nokia Fed-Ex Tostitos Consumer’s Guide to Way Too Many Bowl Games (presented by AT&T;):

ALOHA BOWL

Card: Oregon (8-3) vs. Colorado (7-4).

When: Today, 12:30 p.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Brent Musberger, Dan Fouts.

Worth Your Time? If you’re a UCLA fan and still suffering guilt pangs for losing to Miami and toppling the first domino that knocked Arizona out of the Rose Bowl and into the Holiday Bowl, which knocked Oregon out of the Holiday all the way to here--the opener of a day-night doubleheader in Honolulu.

OAHU BOWL

Card: Air Force (11-1) vs. Washington (6-5).

When: Today, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Larry Beil, Todd Christensen.

Worth Your Time? Sit your Pop Warner quarterback son down and point out Washington’s Brock Huard and explain that this is what happens when you should have declared for the NFL draft after your sophomore year.

HERITAGE BOWL

Card: Bethune-Cookman (8-2) vs. Southern (8-3).

When: Saturday, 9:30 a.m. (Channel 4).

Announcers: Bob Neal, James Lofton.

Worth Your Time? Bethune went 8-2 to qualify for its first postseason appearance in 21 years. Cookman had a pretty good year too.

INSIGHT.COM BOWL

Card: West Virginia (8-3) vs. Missouri (7-4).

When: Saturday, 5 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Dave Barnett, Bill Curry.

Worth Your Time? The bowl publicity staff must have logged onto the wrong web site. West Virginia and Missouri? This is the yahoo.com bowl.

MUSIC CITY BOWL

Card: Virginia Tech (8-3) vs. Alabama (7-4).

When: Tuesday, 2 p.m. (ESPN)

Announcers: Rich Waltz, Rod Gilmore.

Worth Your Time? Gilmore none too happy to have drawn this assignment.

MICRON PC BOWL

Card: North Carolina State (7-4) vs. Miami (8-3).

When: Tuesday, 4:30 p.m. (TBS).

Announcers: Kevin Harlan, Mark May.

Worth Your Time? The Contest Formerly Known as the Sunshine Football Classic Formerly Known as the Carquest Bowl Formerly Known as the Blockbuster Bowl. See if Miami’s Edgerrin James, the man who shot UCLA out of the Fiesta Bowl, can run his streak of 299-yard rushing games to two.

ALAMO BOWL

Card: Kansas State (11-1) vs. Purdue (8-4).

When: Tuesday, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Ron Franklin, Mike Gottfried.

Worth Your Time? Yes, but maybe not worth Kansas State’s. The Wildcats have been claiming robbery ever since their bid for a perfect season fell one play short in overtime against Texas A&M--a; play that flung them out of the Fiesta Bowl for a 20-story drop that landed them here. There is no justice, Bill Snyder, only the Alamo.

HUMANITARIAN BOWL

Card: Idaho (8-3) vs. Southern Mississippi (7-4).

When: Wednesday, noon. (ESPN2).

Announcers: Wayne Larrivee, Randy Wright.

Worth Your Time? Only for the panoramic camera sweeps of majestic Boise in the background.

HOLIDAY BOWL

Card: Arizona (11-1) vs. Nebraska (9-3).

When: Wednesday, 5 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Mike Tirico, Todd Blackledge.

Worth Your Time? A better matchup than anything on the Jan. 1 marquee--last year’s co-national champion against the Pacific 10 Conference team headed for the Rose Bowl before UCLA’s defense staged its sit-down-and-go-boom strike in Miami.

LIBERTY BOWL

Card: Tulane (11-0) vs. Brigham Young (9-4).

When: Thursday, 10:30 a.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Rich Waltz, Rod Gilmore.

Worth Your Time? Come and see Tulane’s Shaun King, the quarterback the Football News decided to toss onto its All-American third-team ahead of Cade McNown.

SUN BOWL

Card: USC (8-4) vs. Texas Christian (6-5).

When: Thursday, 11 a.m. (Channel 2).

Announcers: Sean McDonough, Terry Donahue.

Worth Your Time? College football writers are calling this the Eye Chart Bowl, as in, “Put one hand over your eye and please read for me.” Better yet: Put your hands over both eyes.

PEACH BOWL

Card: Virginia (9-2) vs. Georgia (8-3).

When: Thursday, 2 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Charley Steiner, Todd Christensen.

Worth Your Time? Sadly, times change--the Peach Bowl is now sponsored by Chick-fil-A.

INDEPENDENCE BOWL

Card: Mississippi (6-5) vs. Texas Tech (7-4).

When: Thursday, 5:30 p.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Dave Barnett, Bill Curry.

Worth Your Time? Last January, the Independence had Louisiana State and Notre Dame.

COTTON BOWL

Card: Texas (8-3) vs. Mississippi State (8-4).

When: Jan. 1, 8 a.m. (Fox).

Announcers: Joe Buck, Bill Maas.

Worth Your Time? At 8 in the morning with a New Year’s Eve hangover still raging? Set up the VCR, watch Ricky Williams take his last tango for Texas.

OUTBACK BOWL

Card: Kentucky (7-4) vs. Penn State (8-3).

When: Jan. 1, 8 a.m. (ESPN).

Announcers: Ron Franklin, Mike Gottfried.

Worth Your Time? One more VCR special. Penn State plaid versus Kentucky neon. Joe Paterno’s no-name grunts against Tim Couch’s no-conscience fling-it-on-fourth-down pinball derby.

GATOR BOWL

Card: Georgia Tech (9-2) vs. Notre Dame (9-2).

When: Jan. 1, 9:30 a.m. (Channel 4).

Announcers: Tom Hammond, Pat Haden.

Worth Your Time? Suspense reaching pressure-cooker levels. Will Notre Dame complete a pass before halftime?

CITRUS BOWL

Card: Michigan (9-3) vs. Arkansas (9-2).

When: Jan. 1, 10 a.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Terry Gannon, Tim Brant.

Worth Your Time? See the quarterback that put Tennessee in the national title game. (Tee Martin? No, he’s in Tempe.) That would be Arkansas’ Clint Stoener, whose revolutionary new dropback style--take the snap, stumble, brace your fall with the football--produced the fourth-quarter fumble that kept Tennessee’s undefeated season alive.

ROSE BOWL

Card: UCLA (10-1) vs. Wisconsin (10-1).

When: Jan. 1, 1:30 p.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Keith Jackson, Bob Griese.

Worth Your Time? For UCLA, the Grandaddy of All Consolation Prizes. Build-up for this game has included UCLA offensive players sniping at the defense and Wisconsin running back Ron Dayne punching out a teammate in the locker room. Unofficially renamed the infight.com Bowl.

SUGAR BOWL

Card: Texas A&M; (11-2) vs. Ohio State (10-1).

When: Jan. 1, 5:30 p.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Brent Musberger, Dan Fouts.

Worth Your Time? It’s always advisable to keep an eye on the Buckeyes, because you never know what Coach John Cooper will pull next. Ohio State should be playing for the national championship--and would be if Cooper hadn’t blacked out in the fourth quarter against Michigan State and forgotten that the forward pass had been legalized.

ORANGE BOWL

Card: Syracuse (8-3) vs. Florida (9-2).

When: Jan. 2, 5 p.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Brad Nessler, Gary Danielson.

Worth Your Time? One-time biggie reduced to a regional game when organizers opted for Florida’s obsessed ticket buyers over Kansas State’s superior credentials. ABC is sending its No. 3 broadcast team.

FIESTA BOWL

Card: Tennessee (12-0) vs. Florida State (11-1).

When: Jan. 4, 5 p.m. (Channel 7).

Announcers: Keith Jackson, Bob Griese.

Worth Your Time? Whoa, Nellie, ramblin’, gamblin’ Keith Jack-son strolls into the sunset after this one, so brace yourself for some nostalgic waxing and a lump-in-the-throat fourth quarter. Subplot: Winner of game is declared national champion.

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What Los Angeles Is Watching

A sampling of L.A. Nielsen ratings for Dec. 19-20, including sports on cable networks:

SATURDAY

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Over-the-air Channel Rating Share Pro football: Tampa Bay at Washington 11 8.4 20 Pro football: New York Jets at Buffalo 2 7.6 18 Golf: Lexus Challenge 4 2.2 5 Golf: Three-Tour Challenge 7 2.0 5 College basketball: Illinois at Kansas 2 0.9 2

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Cable Network Rating Share Volleyball: NCAA women’s championship ESPN2 0.8 2 Hockey: Kings at St. Louis FSW 0.7 1 College basketball: CS Northridge at UCLA FSW2 0.6 1 College football: Las Vegas Bowl ESPN2 0.4 1 College basketball: Kentucky at Georgia Tech ESPN 0.4 1 College football: Division I-AA championship ESPN 0.3 1 Women’s college basketball: UCLA at Texas FSW2 0.3 1 Women’s college basketball: Vanderbilt at Ind. ESPN2 0.3 1 College basketball: Princeton at Maryland ESPN 0.2 1 College basketball: Cincinnati at UNLV ESPN 0.2 1 College basketball: Tennessee at South Fla. ESPN 0.1 0 Women’s college basketball: Florida at Illinois ESPN2 0.1 0 College basketball: Auburn at Navy FSW 0.1 0

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SUNDAY

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Over-the-air Channel Rating Share Pro football: San Francisco at Carolina 11 13.8 35 Pro football: Philadelphia at Dallas 11 11.1 26 Pro football: Oakland at San Diego 2 5.2 12 Golf: Three-Team Challenge 7 1.5 4. Golf: Lexus Challenge 4 1.0 3

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Cable Network Rating Share Pro football: Jacksonville at Minnesota ESPN 0.5 12 Hockey: Kings at Chicago FSW 0.9 2 Women’s soccer: U.S. vs. Ukraine ESPN 0.5 1 Women’s pro basketball: Portland at San Jose FSW 0.0 0

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WEEKDAY RATINGS: Monday--Pro football: Denver at Miami, Ch. 7, 17.5, 30.

Note: Each rating point represents 50,092 L.A. households. Cable ratings reflect the entire market, even though cable is in only 63% of L.A. households.