Guess Who Has to Clean Up Act?

Today’s helping of irony is served up by reader Terry Kirker, who noticed that the L.A. County Sanitation District snack bar in Whittier received an unexpected distinction. The not-so-sanitary eatery was briefly shut down in June by the county Health Services Department for two violations, including vermin infestation.

*

WHO NEEDS VIAGRA? After coming across a great deal on “senior citizen parts,” (see accompanying), I felt relieved to know that I’m apparently just a few years away from being eligible to acquire a new back. And a new right knee. And let’s stop there.

*

ANGELENOS ABROAD: Today’s celebrity snapshot comes from longtime L.A. weather-caster Dr. George Fischbeck, who noticed a curious “Room to Go” sign in Ecuador. “No explanation,” he added, “since tornadoes are rare at the equator.”

*

TRAFFIC OBSTACLE OF THE WEEK: Ed Berger, morning anchor of the new radio station K-Traffic (1650-AM), reported that a pickup truck carrying a couch was out of commission on the Santa Ana Freeway. Nothing unusual about that except, perhaps, that the couch was on fire at the time.

I was unable determine if the fire had been caused by a truck passenger who went to sleep on the sofa while smoking.

*

COMMUTER YUKS: Along with the recitation of vehicular mishaps, K-Traffic’s Berger tosses out a few jokes, both for his own sanity and that of his audience. When a cement truck driver stalled on the San Diego Freeway on Friday, Berger commented, “While he’s sitting there, maybe he could make a new lane.”

*

WELL, IT SEEMED FISHY . . . Some citizen tips to police that didn’t quite pan out, as reported in the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise:

* “A prowler reported in the rear yard was the son returning after driving his father’s car without permission.”

* “Seven men driving a white pickup truck and removing items from a residence through a window were helping the resident take apart a large fish tank.”

* “A man called police after overhearing his neighbor saying, ‘I cut my finger beating the bastard to death.’ Police investigated and discovered the man had killed a bug.”

*

HAPPY RAILS TO YOU! Fred Tuck recalls reading a funny, though possibly apocryphal, story about the late Roy Rogers. It seems that years after Rogers had become a famous Western star, he was taking a train back to his native Cincinnati (where he had been born Leonard Slye).

Rogers was dressed not in cowboy garb but in a business suit. Walking through the train corridor, he was stopped by a man who exclaimed, “Leonard Slye! I haven’t seen you since high school!”

Rogers expected to hear the usual comments about his career. Instead, the man said, “Leonard, what have you been doing with yourself all these years?”

*

L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: The “Trucker’s Glossary,” compiled by the National C.B. Handle Registry in San Bernardino, contains this listing:

“Shaky--The name truckers have given Los Angeles, because of frequent earthquakes.”

miscelLAny:

American Tortoise Rescue, which is based in L.A., reminds Angelenos that “this time of year, turtles and tortoises frequently escape from backyards.” Why? They’re on the prowl for mates. So, ATR reminds you to repair holes in fences and keep gates locked to prevent your lovesick snapper from heading for the bright lights. And, if you should find someone else’s turtle hanging out on a street corner, you can report it to ATR at (800) 938-3553.

*

Steve Harvey, who never snaps at readers, can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.