A Robber Who Used Her Head, Sort Of
The L.A. Downtown News reports that a 60ish woman walked into a downtown bank, pulled a gun from her purse and announced, “This is a robbery. Give me the money or I’ll shoot!”
What set her approach apart was that she was pointing the gun at her own head. “She was simultaneously arrested and rescued by the LAPD,” the newspaper said.
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REAR-END HUMOR: Paul Shepard says there’s a “wondrous license plate that can be seen in the South Bay from time to time: The car is a Lotus, low, flat and wide. Across the rear is the car’s name, in large letters: L O T U S. “Below,” he adds, “is the license plate: LOTUSH.”
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CAR ENGINES IN THE ABSTRACT: Ted Rogers of West L.A. spotted a Picasso Body Shop on 3rd Street and commented, “I’m sure they’re real artists there” (see photo). But he added that he’d want a guarantee that, if he took his car into the shop, it wouldn’t “come back with both headlights on the same side.” As for his paint job, he’d also want to know if this Picasso was “in his Blue Period.”
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INTRODUCING . . . THE ROLLS-WAGEN! Now that Volkswagen has purchased Rolls-Royce, you might wonder if a crossbreed is in the works. Well, Carter Barber of Pasadena found one (see photo). Actually, Barber, a retired newspaperman, found it more than a quarter-century ago. He learned that the MR on the front of the Rolls-Bug referred to the owner, a young lady named Minnie Rose. But the family wasn’t interested in publicity, so the mysterious jalopy was lost to history.
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A NEW FREEWAY SPORT? I’ve seen fans batting them around in the stands at baseball games, where they’re only a nuisance. But has this pastime taken on a new, dangerous variation? I know commuting is boring. But the cure was not that beach ball I saw being knocked around by cars on the Santa Monica Freeway Tuesday morning. Next thing you know, drivers will be doing The Wave.
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TALK ABOUT BAD LUCK! Susan Tellem of Malibu received an official notice from the Office of Prize Awards and Disbursements in Grand Rapids, Mich., congratulating her on her “selection as the winner of a Special Prize in the First Round of our annual $250,000 Sweepstakes.” But when Tellem looked at the official “Prize Claim Agreement Form,” she noticed that her address contained the word “Error” numerous times (see accompanying). Someone at the Office of Prize Awards and Disbursements needs a kick in the tush.
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THIS WEEK’S MISDIRECTED E-MAIL: “Steve, when will you appear in concert in Los Angeles?” a reader asked me.
Well, I have to be honest. I’ve been unable to persuade concert promoters to give me a chance to go on stage and show my collection of dueling photos, revolting menu items and stupid human tricks. I think I could pack the Forum, but Steve Harvey, the TV star, will probably have a concert date before I do.
MiscelLAny:
Former Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochran, who is dabbling in the sports agent business, sponsored a basketball team in the Fila Summer Pro League at Cal State Long Beach. Wouldn’t you think that Cochran would be more adept at representing baseball players? You know, if the glove fits, etc., etc.
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
