Just Another Reason Why Golfers Are Nuts

Rob Levy, 43, of Studio City found a surprise at the bottom of his golf bag two days after playing the Balboa Golf Course in Encino last week--a baby squirrel.

“I heard something rattling my clubs, and my two cats were on my bed with me, so I took a look in the bag,” Levy said. “I have no idea how the squirrel crawled down in there among 14 clubs.”

Levy took his clubs out of the bag and, with some peanuts, lured the squirrel out and into a cat cage. He fed it for several days before inviting some friends over for a ceremony, during which they turned the squirrel loose.

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Trivia time: Who holds the USC record for most points scored in a football game?

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Yum, yum: Steve Davis in the Dallas Morning News before the Galaxy eliminated the Burn on Sunday in a Major League Soccer playoff game:

“The speedy Los Angeles Galaxy and all its offensive muscle can put a finishing dab of whipped cream on a substantial slice of humble pie it has thrown at the Dallas Burn this season.”

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Reprieve: Tampa Bay Coach Tony Dungy, commenting on his team’s 1-3 start before Sunday’s game with the New York Giants:

“If we started taking out everybody who didn’t play well, we might have to forfeit the next game.”

The forfeit is on hold, after the Buccaneers beat the Giants, 20-3.

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Cellar woes: However, a forfeit might be the only option for beleaguered Philadelphia Coach Ray Rhodes, whose Eagles are 0-5.

“It’s driving me crazy,” Rhodes said. “You can’t sleep. How can you sleep when you’re getting your butt kicked? I can’t close my eyes. My wife thinks I’m out of my mind. She’s right.”

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Bordertown blues: Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union Tribune: “Forget Ryan Leaf versus Peyton Manning and who’s better, because these two rookie quarterbacks aren’t good enough to be classified in a better-than-anyone category.

“Remember that the Chargers lost a football game to the Colts [Sunday]. Imagine that. The Colts! The Colts are the NFL’s Prairie View A&M.; They’re the league’s hearty, stick-to-your-ribs Sunday meal. Pro football’s food fight.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1916, Georgia Tech demolished Cumberland, 222-0, in the most lopsided college football game ever. Incidentally, Georgia Tech’s coach was John Heisman, after whom the trophy is named.

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Trivia answer: Anthony Davis, with six touchdowns, 36 points, against Notre Dame in 1972.

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And finally: Dan Quisenberry, the former major league relief pitcher, who died Sept. 30, was known for his off-the-wall humor. A sampling:

* Describing a drive back to the mound by Wade Boggs: “It played pinball wizard with my legs. It lit up all my bones and won a free game.”

* “Most pitchers fear losing their fastball. Since I don’t have one, the only thing I fear is fear itself.”

* On relief pitchers: “We’re parasites. We live off the people who spend two hours on the field.”