Lawyers Who Went by the Book

This could have been an episode of “Seinfeld.” Avery Waisbren of Beverly Hills attended a bankrupt law firm’s auction, where he had an unusual experience.

One of the items Waisbren noticed was a Black’s Law Dictionary, which brought back memories of his law school days at USC. He opened the book and, to his surprise, found his name and the date he bought it--1951--scrawled inside.

Wait--it gets stranger. That book had been stolen from Waisbren off a library table two days after he bought it.

“I never bought another one because it was too expensive,” said Waisbren, a licensed attorney who isn’t currently practicing.

When the auctioneer--who was Waisbren’s son, Brad--pointed out the name inside, it was agreed that the father should be given the book.

Oh, yes: Brad Waisbren said that the attorney who possessed the pilfered book was also a USC grad.

Hmmm.

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SOUTHLAND LANDMARKS: On the Internet, Dale Ransford noticed a listing for a house in Hacienda Heights that was described as being near “the infamous Buddhist temple” (see accompanying). It’s the temple that was visited by Vice President Al Gore at a Democratic Party fund-raiser, where large sums of money were raised, much of it illegally.

“I think the owner probably meant to say ‘famous,’ ” Ransford said. Then, again, maybe not.

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A LONG REACH? A voter in Long Beach sent along a campaign mailer that she received from a group called “Former Long Beach Mayors” (see accompanying).

Checking the letter, I found only two people who would admit to being members: Ernie Kell and Eunice Sato. I’m stunned that I was unaware of this group. Who knows how powerful it is? I promise that I will find out more about Former Long Beach Mayors--the name of its publication, the location of its headquarters, the number of visits by Al Gore, etc., etc.

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COUNTDOWN: After I mentioned that film critics had voted “Bond, James Bond” as No. 1 among history’s 10 most famous movie lines, several readers asked what the runners-up were. I don’t want to drown you in glamour so, today, I’ll give you Nos. 10 to 8:

* 10. “Gimme visky. Ginger ale on the side. And don’ be stingy, bay-bee.” (Greta Garbo, “Anna Christie”)

* 9. “You talkin’ to me?” (Robert De Niro, “Taxi Driver”)

* 8. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” (Clark Gable, “Gone With the Wind”)

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NO, IT WASN’T A TRIATHLETE: Eleanor Van Note of Carpinteria noticed a store’s Halloween ad for a “lifelike” skeleton. But she confesses that its absence of skin, among other things, makes it seem less than “lifelike” to her.

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DEFINITE COP-OUTS: I’ve mentioned some of the strange excuses tried by drivers pulled over for traffic offenses. Now, Kenny Morse, host of the “Ask Mr. Traffic” cable TV show, offers “some things to never say to a cop.” Ready? Forget these lines immediately after you’ve read them:

* “Winchell’s closed today?”

* “Filling your quota, eh?”

* “Sorry, officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in!”

* “I thought you had to be in relatively good condition to be a police officer.”

* “You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?”

* “I pay your salary!”

* “Why aren’t ya out there stopping real crime!?”

* “Hey man, ya want a hit?”

Nor would I recommend, “You talkin’ to me?”

miscelLAny:

The county health department’s latest list of temporary closures of food establishments included the Tenampa Pool Hall in San Gabriel after evidence of “vermin infestation” was found. Which seems unfair to me. Part of the romance of pool halls is the unsavory characters they attract.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.