They Sure Weren’t Grade-A Thieves

Why would someone steal one of the county Health Department’s “C” rating cards? That’s what Jerry Cowle of Pacific Palisades wondered when he read a local newspaper account of the theft from a gas station that serves food. Perhaps these weren’t ordinary thieves, though. Given the grade, perhaps the card was carried off by cockroaches.

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THE IRS AND THE ABC’S: Kathleen Fagan of Santa Barbara says it’s no wonder the IRS comes in for so much criticism when the agency sends out letters like the mistake-filled one she received (see accompanying).

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DINING MILESTONES: During a splashy press conference in Irwindale, that city was designated the Big Mac capital on the sandwich’s 30th anniversary. Research showed that its only McDonald’s sells 337 of those burgers per year per resident--tops in the nation.

Of course, there are only 1,045 residents in Irwindale and a lot of the Big Macs are eaten by people passing through, but let’s not spoil the fun for Irwindale. After all, the city is approaching the 30th anniversary of another food-related event that brought it some unwanted national attention.

In 1972, rivals of then-Mayor Richard Diaz attempted unsuccessfully to blackmail him into supporting legalized gambling by drugging his food and posing him for photos beside a nude woman. The tainted cuisine: enchiladas.

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CITY WITH A LONG REACH: Only reinforcing my theory that every big story has a Long Beach angle, Jonathan Pusey writes that there are two connections in the Mark McGwire story. Not only has the slugger been seen wearing a Long Beach Fire Department T-shirt, as I mentioned, but the pitcher he victimized for home run No. 62 was Steve Trachsel, a Long Beach State grad.

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COLLEGE CONFIDENTIAL: For my planned college guide of unknown university names, I’ve received more gems from readers:

* UCNF: University of California Near Fedco, for UC San Bernardino (submitted by Marjorie Flathers).

* ORU: Off-Ramp University, for Cal State L.A. (Tess Chedsey).

* USTD: University of Severe Tire Damage, for Cal State Northridge, in honor of the school’s many parking lots, which seem to have more exits than entrances (Diane Robertson).

* LMU: University of Lincoln and Manchester, for Loyola Marymount (Ed Schlossman).

* UCBL: University of California Behind Levitz, for Golden West College (Brad R.)

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WHAT’S IN A NAME: Norm Schneider, director of Media Relations at Lincoln and Manchester--excuse me, Loyola Marymount--University, received a curious letter. It was addressed to him but began, “Dear Regina.” No big deal, he says, except the sender of the letter was a group called the Public Communicators of Los Angeles.

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Noting a photo here of an unexplained shop sign in Venice advertising “Fresh Cut Hands,” Chris Koreivo of Long Beach wrote: “The shop sells rubber hands complete with make-believe raw meat and protruding bone at the point where it was severed. Each hand has a motorized device inside that causes the hand to squirm in a life-like manner.” That’s Venice--always reaching out to others.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.