Dealing With Losing Can Identify a Winner

Dealing with defeat is difficult but it provides a compelling test for a teenager’s character.

There are emotional, gut-wrenching scenes taking place every weekend in the high school football playoffs, where dreams are being shattered and sports careers ended during stressful times.

Players who are immature, misguided and uncertain about the future must be watched closely, for they can react with an ugly eruption of anger, as the group of Fontana players who started a fight after a playoff defeat to Loyola at Pierce College last month.

Others don’t seem mature enough to accept the finality of defeat. They’re grief-stricken, in denial. They want to hide as quickly as possible, which is understandable.

But there are responsibilities that come with playing competitive sports, particularly for those who aspire to play at a higher level.

Acting with dignity and class in a time of adversity is the best indication whether a high school athlete is ready for the next level.

Coaches who say “you learn more about a person in defeat than victory” couldn’t be more correct.

Imagine the challenge a senior faces after a bitter football playoff loss. Tears are rolling down his face, flashbacks of missed opportunities are racing through his mind and here comes an inquiring reporter seeking comment.

It’s an awkward, uncomfortable situation for both sides. In the pros, doors have been slammed and profanity unleashed by adults after a defeat.

So what can be expected of a high school athlete?

That’s the test to see how they respond.

High school sports is a wonderful training ground to prepare teenagers for college and life.

If a teenager has the poise to shake hands with a victorious opponent and possesses the courage to look into the eyes of a reporter and answer questions after defeat, then the same qualities can be used during a crisis at work, at home, on the street, in the classroom.

But how is an athlete supposed to act after a defeat?

Coaches are uncomfortable addressing the subject for fear of establishing a loser’s mentality, so let me assume the burden.

It’s OK to cry, to feel anger, frustration, disappointment. There’s nothing wrong with seeking a moment of privacy to release emotions and contemplate what went wrong and what could have been.

But accepting what happened and moving on to the next challenge is the best therapy.

Not everyone has the maturity or self-confidence to forget a loss so quickly, but those who understand their roles can teach others by example.

There were inspiring moments last weekend from players who handled defeat far better than some adults would.

The high school career of quarterback Casey Clausen of Alemany ended in a painful loss to powerful Mater Dei. Clausen had a pass intercepted and returned for a decisive touchdown.

But there he was after the game, shaking hands, answering questions from the media and poignantly thanking his teammates for a memorable season.

Clausen focused on the positive and the future.

“Nobody gave us a chance and I’m proud we did the best we [could],” he said.

If anyone looked more ready to handle the ups and downs of college football, it was Clausen.

No wonder Tennessee is looking forward to his early arrival in Knoxville next month.

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Eric Sondheimer’s local column appears Wednesday and Sunday. He can be reached at (818) 772-3422 or eric.sondheimerlatimes.com