PIGSKIN PROPHECIES

Who let the genie out of the bottle? Oops, my mistake. The Mr. Clean-looking fellow is actually challenger Danny Schumacher. The Shoe, as I like to call him, lives a finely balanced life, splitting his time between coaching baseball, writing sports and causing mass nausea by dipping tobacco. Fortunately, he’s trying to quit his disgusting habit. Unfortunately, he’s still hitting the sauce pretty hard. The poor guy is putting away a quart of catsup a day. Speaking of losers, prep guru Eric Sondheimer was reduced to a weeping, cursing, spitting mess last week when Valencia upset Notre Dame, giving your soothsaying Swami a victory in the big game and an insurmountable lead against the ink-stained rabble.

The Prophet

Season totals for The Prophet: 124 of 179 (69%), 205 points

Dan Schumacher

Season totals for the guests: 117 of 179 (65%), 189 points

GAME OF THE WEEK (5 points)

Hart vs. St. Francis at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: Coaches don’t put much stock into comparing scores. But I do. Hart beat Canyon, 55-8. St. Francis beat Canyon, 41-7. Indians by 13. Don’t laugh, this is science. Hart, 34-21.

OTHER TOP GAMES (each 3 points)

San Luis Obispo at Newbury Park

THE PROPHET SAYS: Once again, we’ll determine the winner through scientific means. San Luis Obispo beat Simi Valley, 65-14. Newbury Park beat Simi Valley, 35-12. San Luis Obispo by 28. Bank on it! San Luis Obispo, 42-14.

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Saugus vs. Valencia at College of the Canyons

THE PROPHET SAYS: Although these teams met three weeks ago, with Saugus winning, we’ll compare scores with another common opponent. Valencia beat Notre Dame, 26-21, last week. Saugus lost to Notre Dame, 28-13, in the regular season. Valencia by 20. Do not question my methods! Valencia, 41-21.

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Westlake at Arroyo Grande

THE PROPHET SAYS: These teams have no common opponent. Doesn’t matter. This is Westlake’s year. Westlake, 34-17.

THE REST (1 point each)

* Reseda vs. Banning at Huntington Park High: The Prophet: I fear Joel Schaeffer has bumped his noggin after hearing the veteran coach lobbied to have Reseda included in the region top 10. Earth to Schaeffer: You’re playing for 17th place! Banning, 42-24. Schumacher: Banning, 62-0.

* Cathedral at Nordhoff: The Prophet: Cathedral has averaged 54 points in two playoff victories, but the Phantoms won’t get that against the Ranger defense. Nordhoff, 41-28. Schumacher: Cathedral, 43-26.

* Paraclete at Rosamond: The Prophet: Rosamond is 12-0 and seeded No. 1 in Division XII. Big whoop. Paraclete is better. Paraclete, 28-20. Schumacher: Paraclete, 37-18.

* Flintridge Prep vs. Pasadena Poly at South Pasadena High: The Prophet: It’s tough to beat a team twice in a season, but Pasadena Poly is going to do it. Pasadena Poly, 28-14. Schumacher: Flintridge Prep, 26-10.

* Riverside Banning vs. St. Bonaventure at Venture High: The Prophet: The Recruits, er, Seraphs continue their run through the Division XI slayoffs. St. Bonaventure, 49-21. Schumacher: St. Bonaventure, 56-13.

* Kilpatrick vs. Riverside Notre Dame at Cerritos Valley Christian High: The Prophet: Kilpatrick’s Jermaine Marshall is the best back in Division XII, but something tells me the Mustangs have reached the last roundup. Notre Dame, 35-32. Schumacher: Kilpatrick, 18-15.

* Faith Baptist at Grace Brethren: The Prophet: The Eight-Man Large Division final should be an exciting affair. OK, I’m kidding. But it’s going to be close. Grace Brethren, 27-26. Schumacher: Grace Brethren, 35-21.