Wheel of Fortune Can Be Tricky Game for Coaches

The high points, low points and ticklish talking points of the weekend that was:

Imagine! Coaching intrigue racing from football outposts across the nation this weekend, from a sea-change in San Francisco to Bill Parcells’ retirement plans to the same-old, same-old in South Bend, Ind., huge barrels of cash trundled around, teams left in the lurch . . . and Gary Barnett isn’t involved in any of it!

(Yet. Gary, you’ve had your year in the sun in Colorado, you’ve taken the team as far as you can--get out while the getting’s good!)

This time around, Nick Saban started it, and you can’t blame him, you can only hope to be paid like him someday.

Saban, a perpetual candidate to leave Michigan State the last three or four seasons, skipped NFL overtures and jumped to Louisiana State, doubling his salary and paving the way for . . .

Michigan State to start going over its own short list--Minnesota’s Glen Mason, 49er Coach Steve Mariucci, before hiring interim coach Bobby Williams permanently . . .

Meanwhile, Mariucci looks over his shoulder at Bill Walsh, looks over his ancient roster and salary-cap woes that might stretch until Bill Bradley’s second term, and remembers that he’s a Midwest guy, and is speculated to be a possible Notre Dame candidate.

And Redskin Coach Norv Turner waits for the ax to fall, but eyes Dallas, where Troy Aikman has never forgotten his work as offensive coordinator and owner Jerry Jones is getting edgy over Chan Gailey . . .

Who might as well wonder about returning to his old team, the Steelers, who pine for the days when Gailey steadied Kordell Stewart and who know that Bill Cowher really might walk away one of these days . . .

And here we are in L.A., with both local schools quiet and no NFL, and somehow, you know, Gary Barnett is out there, getting mentally ready for that 2001 L.A Conquistador news conference.

THE BIG PICTURE

Time doesn’t heal what Georgia Frontiere did to L.A., but the sight of her, Dick Vermeil and Kurt Warner squeezing together in a big group hug on the sideline Sunday was worth some kind of psychic calming.

Of course, she’s a New Age woman, so she probably knew that.

It has been almost five years since she moved the Rams to St. Louis, and it was five years before that since the Rams were any good.

So, after 10 years of horrible, horrible football--from the plotting of her Midwest money grab to now, 101 losses, four coaches and zero playoff appearances later--the Rams have clinched a division title, with a teary-eyed senior-citizen coach, a wonderful Horatio Alger-story quarterback and an incredible array of offensive weapons.

In St. Louis, the Rams went 7-9 their first year, followed by 6-10, 5-11 and 4-12. They went through the Lawrence Phillips fun, fired Rich Brooks, paid Vermeil millions, then thought about firing him too.

Then, 1999 came, and everything is rolling right for the Rams.

And if you can judge by her sideline appearances, Georgia looks more grounded these days, sincerely happy and lingering with her team instead of just showing up for the cameras and the hugs and then getting the hell out.

I wouldn’t care if she never won another game. But at least she’s not acting like a fool anymore.

WEEKEND TALKING POINTS

1. Sports Illustrated’s end-of-century TV show: Ali, Laver, 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team all present. But athlete-of-century climax of program was . . . Billy Crystal’s imitation of Ali? So Rich Little was No. 2, maybe?

2. ESPN’s top-athletes-of-the-century countdown: Big scandal when they finally reveal their No. 1, and it’s Chris Berman.

3. Jim Miller’s steroid suspension: Will miss four games, but gets prized invitation to join WWF.

4. Arizona, Stanford, UCLA: Loren Woods, Richard Jefferson, Jarron Collins, Dan Gadzuric. . . . Have all three basketball teams ever been so loaded at the same time?

5. Indianapolis 37, Miami 34: They split season series. Round 3 will be AFC title game.

6. SuperSonics, 11 consecutive victories over Clippers: Gary Payton has made them Staples of his diet.

7. Mighty Ducks, 13-12-3-1: Interesting record; wasn’t that also my junior-high locker combination?

8. Florida State vs. Virginia Tech in Sugar Bowl: Consolation game will feature Florida Tech vs. Virginia State.

9. Adrian Beltre, a suggested solution: Instead of making him an instant free agent (and potentially richer than Nomar Garciaparra), just add two years to his service time so he’s eligible for arbitration now, and for free-agency after 2001 season--when he’d be 22.

10. Bobby Bonilla, team guy: Promises he’ll make himself a big distraction unless New York Mets play him regularly. Of course, his slow bat and horrible fielding are usually distracting enough.

LEADING QUESTIONS

Has Fernando Vargas lost his way?

Was his passionless decision victory over a guy named “Winky” Wright--Vargas’ first non-knockout in 18 bouts--on Saturday a chilling indicator that Vargas is vulnerable to anybody with fast hands and a solid chin?

Or were his cryptic references to (yet another) personal problem enough to explain a sudden shortage of star power?

Do you think he’d survive with that kind of performance against Ike Quartey, Oscar De La Hoya or Felix Trinidad?

Did he put more energy into designing and performing his ring entrance--emerging from a cage alongside a white tiger and with a shockingly shaved head--or the fight itself?