Lawsuit Wound Up in the Toilet

The most outrageous lawsuit of the decade in California? It could be the case of the Elton John fan in the john, says one court reform group.

The fan said he felt emotional distress after women burst into the men’s restroom he was occupying during an Elton John concert. He sued the city of San Diego, as well as a beer vendor, said the Civil Justice Assn. of California, which campaigns against frivolous lawsuits.

But the L.A. Daily Journal pointed out that a judge threw out the lawsuit and made the plaintiff and his attorney pay for a frivolous filing.

Flush.

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MORE LOONEY LAWSUITS: Getting into the spirit of the occasion, we offer some other kooky (and unsuccessful) suits reported in this column the last few years:

* A woman who suffered frostbite after a recreational accident claimed her physicians had told her to hold ice on the wound 24 hours a day for 10 days.

* The father of a Little League player said he suffered mental distress after officials and coaches requested that he move about 25 feet away from the field where no one was standing if he wanted to smoke.

* A passenger on a boat who injured himself while jumping on the dock said he was aware that it was a risky maneuver. But, he added, he had been ordered to jump by the skipper. And he wasn’t the mutinous type.

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GAMBOLING POSTAL: In Bel-Air, Jay Fromla snapped a shot of a warning sign that had been converted into a metallic postage stamp (see photo). Probably too late to mail it in time for Christmas, though.

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NAMES THAT FIT THE JOBS: Howard Brief is a lawyer in Seal Beach.

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LETTER IMPERFECT: Malvin Wald came across a sign with a typo that gave it a Christmas theme (see photo).

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THE EARLY WURM: He hasn’t drawn as much attention as Al Gore, George W. Bush and the other White House hopefuls. But management consultant George Wurm of Seal Beach says he’s determined to be elected the next president. Wurm, a former pro football player, told the Seal Beach Sun he decided to make his run after hearing Warren Beatty express an interest, figuring he could do a better job than the actor.

One of the key planks in Wurm’s platform is to cut government spending.

“I’ll get rid of Air Force One for Greyhound One,” he promised.

You’ll notice, by the way, that Beatty has decided not to enter the race.

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WHAT ABOUT TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK, FELLOWS? I attended the Long Beach Ice Dogs-Utah Grizzlies hockey match the other night and I’m happy to report there were only two fights among the players--a low total for minor league hockey, where brawls are an art form.

In the teams’ previous two meetings, there had been several fights, including an end-of-game melee that featured 10 players. One combatant wound up in the hospital.

It’s not that I’m particularly offended by fisticuffs. It’s just that the Ice Dogs games are broadcast on radio station KPLS-AM (830), which advertises itself as “Catholic Family Radio,” for heaven’s sake.

miscelLAny:

One of the advertisers at Ice Dogs games is the Long Beach Airport, with a banner that reads, “Plane Easy.” A cute pun. And far more tasteful than that of a defunct Long Beach airline that used to trumpet the benefits of Long Beach Airport while blasting a rival facility. Its billboards read: LAX SUX.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.