The Unartful Backhand Compliment

While Norm Van Brocklin was coaching the Atlanta Falcons in the 1970s, his team played the Rams at the Coliseum.

After losing the game, Van Brocklin was asked what he thought of the Rams.

“They better not lose their pass rush,” Van Brocklin sneered.

A reporter followed up by asking whether Van Brocklin didn’t think much of the Ram offense.

Replied Van Brocklin, sneering again: “You’re a college graduate, kid. You figure it out!”

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Trivia time: Who was the first player to score a rushing touchdown in the Super Bowl?

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Media madness: Art Spander of the Oakland Tribune reports that during Super Bowl media day a woman from a cable television station asked Atlanta wide receiver Ronnie Harris: “How wide do you have to be to be a wide receiver?”

She was presumably joking.

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Clip and save: Woody Paige in the Denver Post: “BET THE HOUSE ON THE BRONCOS IN THE SUPER BOWL: Literally. Get a second mortgage on your home, take the money to Las Vegas and put it all on the Broncos giving the Falcons 7 points.

“DENVER 56, ATLANTA 9. Would you like me to read your palm too?”

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Painful ordeal: Miami Dolphin defensive lineman Manny Fernandez, talking to a roomful of reporters before Super Bowl VIII:

“I love these get-togethers. It’s like going to the dentist three or four days in a row and getting the same tooth filled each time.”

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Who’s old now? As a rookie with the Denver Broncos in 1983, John Elway replaced the starting quarterback, Steve DeBerg, who is now 45 and a backup quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons.

“I thought he was ancient,” Elway said. “And now I feel I’m ancient. It’s amazing. He’s got nine lives.”

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Suggestion: Michael Ventre of MSNBC says Mike Tyson’s next fight should be at halftime of a Chicago Bulls game. “That would drastically reduce the number of free tickets both parties would have to distribute.”

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Gagging route: Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle, quoting reader Steven Souza on Latrell Sprewell’s journey: “From the Adam’s apple to the Big Apple.”

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Unique: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Soccer’s world governing body said it would begin out-of-competition drug testing, making it the first sport with more specimen jars than goals.”

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FYI: No punt has ever been returned for a touchdown in the Super Bowl. Yet, four kickoffs have been returned for touchdowns, the last in 1997 by Desmond Howard of Green Bay.

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Trivia answer: Green Bay’s Jim Taylor, on a 14-yard run against Kansas City at the Coliseum on Jan. 15, 1967.

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And finally: “In Atlanta, we’ve gone from ground zero to the Super Bowl,” Falcon cornerback Ray Buchanan said. “Before, people thought so little of us, they came to the [Georgia] Dome and bought hot dogs to go.”