Time to Add Some Fuel to This Fire

They burned pants and shirts and--judging from what happened later--apparently every decent glove and bat in the house.

They burned bad memories and bad luck and bad underwear.

They burned everything in the bullpen before the game, a preferable departure from their recent tradition of starting fires on the mound in the fifth inning.

A few things should be said about the Dodgers’ interesting--in the way that 4-year-olds interest us--attempt at voodoo before their 9-1 loss to the San Francisco Giants on Saturday.

First, judging from the size of a blaze that sent black smoke billowing over the left-field bleachers, they were fortunate they did not give Fox a story line for “Backdraft II.”

Second, the next time they want to get crazy with the barbecue, they should do it in their own backyard, not ours.

Third, the idea was actually a good one.

They just didn’t burn enough.

In the wake of a loss that has at least temporarily turned this season into a complete waste of time, they needed to throw a few more shrimp on the barbie.

Burn Chan Ho Park’s cleats.

No, not with him wearing them. Not yet. A little hotfoot will suffice for now. Anything to get the attention of a pitcher who stares off the mound as if he’s just landed here from the planet Naboo.

“It looks like he completely lost it,” said Davey Johnson after Park walked three straight batters and then hit the next one Saturday in what, amazingly, was probably not even his worst start in the last three weeks.

Park is lost, period, and his next start would be in the minor leagues, if the Dodgers had any pitcher to bring up from the minor leagues, which they don’t, which is a whole other story.

Is it mental, Johnson was asked.

“This whole game is mental,” Johnson replied.

Burn the inside of the plate.

Why not? Besides Kevin Brown, the Dodger pitchers don’t use it anyway.

I’m still waiting for somebody to back Barry Bonds down for that insulting pirouette he pulled against the Dodgers when his home run helped doom them in 1997.

If his three home runs in his nine plate appearances in this weekend series aren’t motivation enough, how about that 22-second home-run trot Saturday?

If the Dodgers want to stop being intimidated by others in their division, a few low-and-inside fastballs would be a good place to start.

Burn foul territory.

Todd Hundley and Raul Mondesi dropped foul pops on Saturday. Hundley picked up a dropped third strike in foul territory and threw it wildly to first base.

Adding to the madness, during the fifth inning, Onan Masaoka’s first warmup pitch sailed onto the field from the bullpen.

Every team has off-field problems. The Dodgers literally have off-field problems.

Burn every paper bag in town.

Did anybody notice that on Friday, a fan showed up at Dodger Stadium wearing a brown sack on his head?

Anywhere else, that would be a cliche.

Here, it is a first.

Then there were all those fans who left Saturday’s game in the sixth inning, a Dodger Stadium record for fast getaways, which is saying something.

Burn the idea that it’s still early.

Trailing the division leader by 10 1/2 games on July 3 is one thing.

Looking up at three teams stacked between you and the division leader is another thing.

Midseason or not, it’s late.

Burn the sheriff’s badge.

Kevin Malone’s playful off-season statements about being the new boss in town have only haunted him, what, every hour since then?

So far, Malone has been a sheriff like Barney Fife was a sheriff. But that’s OK. The Dodgers don’t need a sheriff.

They need a construction foreman who is not afraid to stop halfway through a failing project, pick up a hammer, and start tearing things down.

Within 10 days or so, the Dodgers are going to have to decide whether to make the trades necessary to salvage a championship run, or give up the season and start thinking about next year.

A bit of advice: This is not a town that buys tickets to watch some team wait for next year.

Burn Mike Carlucci’s microphone.

He’s the Dodger Stadium public-address announcer, and he’s a good guy just doing his job, but here’s wishing that job did not include screaming like this is roller derby.

Although, come to think of it, maybe it is.

Burn what is left of Davey Johnson’s fuse.

This may have already happened. He has blown up only a couple of times this year while trying to figure out his team, but there’s not much more to figure.

This team--particularly some starting pitchers--needs a kick. He’s ready to deliver it.

“I’m going to have to unload on them just for my own sanity,” Johnson said.

Burn, ever so lightly, the edge of Chase Carey’s mustache.

For Mike Piazza.

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BLUE SUMMER

The Dodgers dropped 10 games below .500 with a 9-1 loss to the Giants. Page 3

ANOTHER LOSS

Chuck Finley gave up eight runs in the Angels’ 9-7 loss to Oakland. Page 5

MONEY MATTERS

Minnesota Manager Tom Kelly is doing the best he can with a no-frills team. Page 4

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: bill.plaschke@latimes.com.