Dinner-Time Hang-Ups Eat at Them

A weekly column about humans as they interact with things that beep, buzz, ring and download.

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Dear Button Pusher: Here’s my gripe: people who won’t leave a message on our home answering machine, especially in the evening. Unless it’s super-important, we’re not answering. We’ve got a good reason for not picking up at that time--we’re eating! Still, people just call and hang up. If they’d just leave a message, we’d be happy to call back, but they rarely do. Any suggestions?

--SACRED DINNER HOUR

Dear Sacred: If only a mad and very angry scientist would invent a device that delivers a small electric shock to these people. But, alas, the best and brightest are probably busy day-trading.

I must confess that only a few years ago I was the kind of person who took a dim view of a person like you. That is, one that screens their calls. But, mark your calendars (or computer schedulers) I stand corrected. You’re quite right to screen your calls, particularly at dinner time. I’ve come to regard Am-Hus (Answering Machine Hanger-Uppers) as lower than even the dreaded Rads (Run Away Doorbell Ringers).

Nine times out of 10, it seems dinner-time calls are from a phone solicitor. And they are notorious for hanging up. It’s frustrating, and unfortunately the only technological weapons you have--dialing *69 or Caller ID--rarely offer satisfaction since solicitors’ numbers are usually blocked. Until the mad and very angry scientists help us out, we’ll probably have to endure the hang-ups. The best attitude to take is good riddance.

On a side note, if curiosity gets the better of you and you field a call from a solicitor, here’s a few suggestions:

* Quickly say, “I’m not interested” and hang up.

* Ask for their home phone number and offer to call them back (as immortalized in an episode of “Seinfeld”).

* Or, as one nonconfrontational friend suggested, tell them you’re house-sitting.

Dear Button Pusher: My son wants to ask out a girl in his ninth-grade class. He wanted to ask her out over the Internet since that’s where they apparently do a lot of their socializing. I advised against it. I told him he should ask her in person. Your thoughts?

--FATHERLY ADVICE

Dear Fatherly: Who cares about the medium, the message is you’ve got a great relationship with your son. He actually told you in advance he intended to ask out a young woman? You’re Dad of the Week.

I’d say seeing as he’s only in ninth grade, I’d let him do the asking over the Internet if that’s what he wants. Or he could do it the semi-old-fashioned way and do it over the phone.

Either way, getting rejected over the phone lines or in cyberspace is easier to take than face to face. Of course, if she says yes, it’s also less exciting too.

Eventually, however, I’d trust your instincts and make clear to the chip-off-the-old-block that when it comes to popping romantic questions, it’s always better in person than online.

For comments and questions upon the human-machine relationship, please send e-mail to martin.miller@latimes.com or write to Button Pusher, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-4888. Please include your name and city of residence in all correspondences.