His Name is Phil, but His Act Is Pure Oscar

Skip Bayless writing in the Chicago Tribune: “How ironic. Hollywood, the myth-making capital, is falling for the myth that Phil Jackson is more of a great coach than a good actor.

“Jackson is being hailed in Los Angeles as a combination Red Auerbach/Confucious/ Dr. Laura--the only man on the planet who can harness and unite the intergalactic egos of Shaq and Kobe and the painfully talented Lakers.

“For now, Jackson has fooled the Lakers, their followers and himself. After he was introduced Wednesday as the new Laker coach, Los Angeles seemed to believe the ‘Zen master’ also will rid the city of traffic, smog, earthquakes and Roseanne.

“Hollywood is convinced Phil Jackson will do for Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal what he did for [Michael] Jordan--turn them into champions.

“Yes, and Liam Neeson is really a Jedi warrior.”

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More skepticism: Dan LeBatard in the Miami Herald: “Maybe the Lakers, the NBA’s most underachieving team, will listen to Jackson, and maybe they’ll do us the courtesy of playing a little defense, but odds are Jackson will end up on the same pile as all the other self-important coaches who ride only one great team to glory.”

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Trivia time: How many Wooden Award winners are playing in the NBA finals?

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Minor league pay: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Moose Skowron had us all laughing the other night as he told his twilight-zone stories about baseball salaries back when he was playing.

“In his 17 years in the game, 14 of them in the majors, Skowron who joined the White Sox marketing department this season, made a total of $500,000. And that included eight World Series shares.”

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Only option: Michael Ventre of MSNBC: “Indiana basketball Coach Bob Knight might have assaulted a man outside of a Mexican restaurant in Ellettsville, Ind. The man is expected to transfer to a different restaurant.”

For the record, no charges were filed.

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New rules: From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “Former baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth was part of a group that purchased the Pebble Beach golf course.

“That’s great news. Now, when you hit a drive into the ocean, it doesn’t cost you a stroke. It’s just a foul ball.”

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FYI: The record for most points scored in an NBA finals game is 148 by Boston against the Lakers (114) on May 27, 1985. That’s one more than San Antonio and New York combined for in Game 2 Friday night.

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Trivia answer: Four. Sean Elliott, David Robinson and Tim Duncan of the Spurs and Larry Johnson of the Knicks.

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And finally: Dave Kindred in the Sporting News: “A doctor tells Cubs first baseman Dee Fondy that his heart is too small and advises him to drink absinthe. When Fondy asks why he should drink the stuff, the doctor says, ‘Absinthe makes the heart grow, Fondy.’

“I actually met Dee Fondy once and actually told him that joke and Dee Fondy actually looked at me like I was an actual idiot.”