These Writers Must Have Failed English History

Mike Littwin in the Rocky Mountain News, on the anti-American reporting from the British press from the Ryder Cup:

“I guess the American fans rivaled the British soccer hooligans who are on the United Nations’ official terrorist list. If anyone can do nationalism, it’s Europe--and especially the British.

“When Boris Becker first won at Wimbledon, the [British] papers offered photos of World War II German bombers flying over the famed tennis court. It was as intense as an Alabama-Auburn football game.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for home runs by a switch-hitter?

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Tip money: After the first five races of the season, Winston Cup champion Jeff Gordon had already won $2,619,361. Car & Driver magazine talked to driver Darrell Waltrip, who said:

“The other day I asked Jeff if he had change for a hundred. Jeff said, ‘Darrell, that is change.’ ”

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Rich get richer: David Casstevens in the Arizona Republic: “The Dallas Cowboys aren’t just a football team. They are listed on the stock exchange as Filthy Rich Inc. According to Forbes, the Cowboys are valued at $663 million, more than any other NFL franchise.

“The Cowboys have deals with Pepsi, Nike, American Express. Not many people know this, but the week after Arizona voters said no to a new stadium, [Dallas owner Jerry] Jones bought the Louvre in Paris. He plans to turn it into a Cowboy sports bar and souvenir shop.”

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Moronic: From the Gallery column of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “The ‘fan’ who jumped out of the right-field stands in Milwaukee and attacked Houston outfielder Bill Spiers during a game last Friday asked fans seated around him whether they would pay his fine if he jumped on a player or ran naked on the field.

“When some of the fans said they would, Berley W. Visgar scaled an 8-foot wall, ran 20 feet across the field and jumped on Spiers’ back. Visgar faces two charges of disorderly conduct.”

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More fan: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Cops say the fan who attacked Spiers reeked of alcohol. Noooo. Really? And here I thought the guy had spent the entire game sipping hot cocoa in the family section.”

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Time bomb: Jay Leno on the NFL’s drug suspension of Dallas Cowboy lineman Leon Lett for half the season:

“He’s not allowed to play or practice, but I guess he still gets paid. Well, that should work out great. Take a guy with a drug problem, put money in his pocket and give him a lot of free time.”

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FYI: Quarterback Erik Wilhelm of Oregon State, unfortunately for him, holds the Pacific 10 record for passes intercepted in a game--seven while playing against Stanford in 1987.

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Trivia answer: Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees, 536.

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And finally: The San Francisco Chronicle reports that daredevil Evel Knievel, eating at a sushi bar in Las Vegas recently, had a disabled parking card on the dashboard of his car but was not parked in a disabled space.