Ditka, in a Fine Mess, Is the Sinner Among Saints

A review of Week 6 in the NFL, and apparently the Saints’ management didn’t think Coach Mike Ditka was just warming up for Mardi Gras when he raised his finger to the hometown New Orleans crowd after the first half, and then grabbed his crotch at game’s end while walking off the field.

The Saints announced Monday they were fining Ditka $20,000 for inappropriate behavior, and it certainly was, passing on a 19-yard field goal to run Ricky Williams from the one with 12 seconds remaining in the first half and no timeouts.

Williams got stuffed, and the Saints, winning 10-0 at the time, went on to lose by three points.

DITKA SHOULD HAVE GRABBED. . .

. . . his throat while walking off the field.

The Saints have now blown fourth-quarter leads in four consecutive games.

In that case he wouldn’t have been hit with a fine on his 60th birthday.

” . . . Our fans do not deserve that type of behavior,” Saint General Manager Bill Kuharich said. “It is disappointing that during the heat of battle Coach Ditka behaved in that manner.”

Look for parents to put paper bags over the heads of their youngsters from now on every time Ditka walks off the field.

HE COULDN’T PLAY. . .

. . . for the Chargers, because he catches the ball, but more than that, Ed McCaffrey can’t be stopped from scoring touchdowns.

McCaffrey leaped over Packer cornerback Tyrone Williams to catch a pass from Brian Griese, then dragged Green Bay safety Darren Sharper for a while before shucking him to the side to finish a 78-yard scoring play--his second of the game.

The Mile High Stadium crowd erupted, chanting “Ed-die! Ed-die!”

“I just thought it was my wife and our kids,” McCaffrey said.

ALL-FANTASY LEAGUE TEAM

Jay Fiedler, Damon Huard, Gus Frerotte, Doug Pederson and Kurt Warner led their teams to victory Sunday. Huard needs only 59,676 yards to match Dan Marino’s career passing yardage.

Denver relied on an unknown Georgia running back, all right, but instead of Terrell Davis, it was Olandis Gary, carrying the ball 37 times without a fumble for 124 yards.

Patrick Jeffers, called on because Carolina lost both of its starting receivers, caught six passes for 93 yards and two touchdowns.

Fantasy football tip: Do not select anyone playing offense for the 49ers. The defense has scored more touchdowns, three, than the offense, two, the last two weeks.

SUPERSTARS

The Rams beat the Falcons, last year’s NFC representative in the Super Bowl, by 56 points in two games. That should make the Rams the favorite this year to get smoked in the Super Bowl by the AFC. . . . Green Bay went to Denver with the No. 1-ranked offense and on 23 of its 35 plays gained zero or minus yardage. . . . George Seifert, beating his former team the 49ers, now has a .743 winning percentage, tops in NFL history. Talk about padding your stats, everyone beats the 49ers these days. . . . Bill Arnsparger, 71, joined the Redskins as a defensive consultant recently and after giving up more than 29 points a game, limited Arizona to 10. Look for the Redskin defense to start calling themselves something catchy, like “the Over the Hill Gang.”

THREE TEAMS ON THE RISE

1. Oakland--It’s as the Raiders have said all along, obviously Al Davis is not calling the plays.

2. Tennessee--Two weeks until the game of the century reaffirming the NFL’s greedy way of doing business, allowing the Rams and Titans to move elsewhere for new stadiums, more shared revenue and happy days for all league owners.

3. San Diego--The Elias Sports Bureau has been asked if it is aware of any other mirages in NFL history.

THREE TEAMS ON THE DECLINE

1. San Francisco--The 49er secondary has given up nine touchdown passes and allowed opposing quarterbacks to complete 43 of 59 passes for 623 yards in the last two games. Bill Walsh has let it be known that some of the team’s problems have been traced to poor coaching. That explains why Terry Donahue is warming up in the bullpen.

2. Minnesota--Now the whining will really begin as the Vikings give the ball to Jeff George.

3. New York Jets--Coach Bill Parcells had his scout team quarterback, Ray Lucas, throw the ball at the goal line in a 13-13 tie. Result: interception--no field goal. Indianapolis gets its own field goal, and Lucas injures his ankle on the final play of the game.

And now the bad news. Rick Mirer, who has a quarterback rating of 7 on third downs, comes back as the Jets’ savior. No truth to the rumor that Parcells has considered having Vinny Testaverde play on crutches.

IT’S ALL ON THE RHODES YOU TAKE

The Eagles ended their 19-game road winless streak with a victory in Chicago, but their former coach, Ray Rhodes, continued his own personal streak of 19, losing as commander of the Packers in Denver.

Rhodes went 0-7-1 with the Eagles in 1997, 0-8 last season, and now is 0-2 with the Packers.

Something Bear quarterback Cade McNown can tell his grandchildren some day: He was the starting quarterback for the only Bear team ever to lose to the Eagles in Chicago--dating 14 games to 1939.