Nonparents Who Coach Face Scrutiny of Their Motives

We’re accustomed to Sports Illustrated cover photos of John Elway or Michael Jordan. The Sept. 13 issue, however, features booking photos of six child molesters, along with the length of their prison sentences. The cover-page headline asks, “Who’s Coaching Your Kid?”

The article begins this way: “The child molester has found a home in the world of youth sports, where as a coach he can gain the trust and loyalty of kids--and then prey on them.”

The report coincides with a friend’s recent experience at orientation night for volunteer referees in an Orange County American Youth Soccer Organization league. To be sure, league officials devoted most of the night to explaining such mundane things as “The Five Basic Restarts of Soccer,” but they also spent some time discussing child abuse, ranging from physical and emotional to sexual. They handed out six pages of printed material on the subject.

The orientation is geared to parents, whom the league depends on to fill its volunteer ranks, and officials stress that their precautions are to protect their children.

It’s unspoken that youth leagues prefer volunteers whose children play on the teams. But even they are not exempted from the litany of literature on child abuse in youth sports.

This question, however, nags: What about the nonparent?

Is he automatically suspect for wanting to coach in a program in which he has no children?

It’s not an empty query, because it’s historically been considered virtuous for nonparents to volunteer in either mentoring or coaching capacities.

I couldn’t reach AYSO officials, but I found an equally good counterpart in senior Orange County deputy Dist. Atty. Dennis Bauer. Aside from working in the sexual-assault unit the last 12 1/2 years, Bauer has coached youth sports for much of the last 33.

Before I even brought it up, Bauer did.

“Where you get most of the problem is where you’ve got some guy who has a background in whatever sport and doesn’t have a kid on the team,” Bauer, 51, said. “That would be my first red flag. I’d say, ‘Why is he involved with the team?’ ”

Indeed, child-molestation cases in youth sports are virtually nonexistent here, he said, largely because parents tend to be the coaches.

Bauer has coached his own two sons and says he’d have “much less concern” if only parents handled coaching duties.

Obviously, he said, there are exceptions, and he noted, as an irony, that molesters often target children “who are starving for affection from their parents.”

And it’s also true, he said, that “a good percentage” of molesters are family members or caretakers.

So where does that leave the never-married or divorced guy who loves sports and kids but has none in a youth league program?

Is he persona non grata, I asked Bauer.

He shouldn’t be blacklisted, but neither should he be surprised if he arouses suspicion, Bauer said. The best approach, he said, might be for the person to meet the issue head on and let parents know he realizes they might question his involvement.

From there, he could tell parents he always wants one of them present when he’s with their youngsters, even, as occurs in some settings, where youngsters shower after games.

He should also promise never to pick youngsters up alone to drive them to games or practices.

Things have definitely changed, Bauer said.

He remembers suggesting several years ago that a youth league screen volunteers for possible sexual-assault histories. “They kind of laughed at me,” he said.

No one laughs today.

“You have to strike a balance between paranoia and naiveta,” Bauer said. Children can be over-protected and made afraid by looking for molesters under every rock.

On the other hand, Bauer said, denial that such predators exist could prevent children from being protected.

Broken families. Lack of parental involvement. Proliferation of youth programs and extended sports seasons. All kinds of factors help make youth sports a fertile territory for seducing molesters.

As Sports Illustrated points out, individual molesters, while not found under every rock, can victimize dozens or hundreds of youngsters over a “career.”

So if you’re a single guy with no kid on the team and you have a burning desire to coach, go for it.

But if you get miffed that the league checks you out and that some parents may look askance at you, here’s my advice:

Sorry, Charlie. It goes with the territory.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday.