Brookline Bounce Would Have Been Fitting

A review of Week 3 in the NFL, and you put 60,000 Cheeseheads in one place--speaking of Ugly Americans--and like the European golfers, they didn’t understand the celebration after Justin Leonard’s winning putt either.

How come he didn’t jump into the gallery?

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HIS FAVORITE TEAM

After the Raiders had humbled the Bears, Chicago running back Curtis Enis offered this provocative revelation: “I believe there’s a divine plan and know things happen for a reason. I believe Oakland should have won today.”

God, a Raider fan?

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THREE TEAMS ON THE RISE

1. Oakland--Despite the NFL’s effort to stack the schedule against God’s team, if Brett Favre hadn’t played like a devil down the stretch, the Raiders would be standing 3-0 right now.

2. St. Louis--File this one away: After defeating Atlanta to go 2-0, Ram Coach Dick Vermeil said, “I don’t think I’ve been around a team as good as this one may end up being.”

3. Tampa Bay--If you’re going to play Trent Dilfer, you say, as did Tampa Coach Tony Dungy, “I think we said last week that we’d be satisfied with 15 ugly wins in a row. We’ve got a streak going now.”

The Buccaneers would be 3-0 if Dilfer’s offense had scored a touchdown against the Giants.

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THREE TEAMS ON THE DECLINE

1. Minnesota--Noted team player, wide receiver Cris Carter was berating cornerback Jimmy Hitchcock as the Vikings walked off the field because Corey Bradford had beaten Hitchcock for the game winner. Later Randy Moss criticized offensive coordinator Ray Sherman.

“I’m going to drop back and I’m going to throw the ball in that area and I know Randy Moss will come up with it,” quarterback Randall Cunningham said.

Why didn’t the offensive coordinator think of that?

2. Green Bay--Without Favre’s last-minute magic two of the last three Sundays, the Packers are 0-3.

3. Denver--Who wins first? The expansion Browns or the fading Broncos? So Brian Griese looked good in his first game--that’s the most ado about nothing so far this season.

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THE LOVE BOAT

All was well in Jacksonville when this season started, the Jaguars favored to win it all. But then the Jaguars had to knock down a two-point conversion to beat Carolina last week before going brain dead at home Sunday against Tennessee.

Coach Tom Coughlin passed on a 25-yard field goal while trailing 3-0 just before halftime, and called for a fake, which was botched.

Then with a minute left in the game and the Jaguars stuck with third and goal from the three, losing by three, quarterback Mark Brunell, throwing into double coverage, threw the game away with an interception.

“I don’t call them, I just run them,” Brunell said, shifting the blame to Coughlin.

Coughlin fired back, “The fact of the matter is you’ve got to make a play in those situations.”

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LOVE BOAT, PART II

The Jaguars’ opponent this week, Pittsburgh, has also stepped in the goo.

Before Sunday’s game with Seattle, former Steeler Chad Brown told his Seahawk teammates that the last thing Coach Bill Cowher tells his team every home game is, “We don’t lose at home.”

Well, the Steelers have now lost three in a row at home and quarterback Kordell Stewart appears to be the culprit.

“I think our quarterback performance was very bad,” Cowher said after yanking Stewart.

Since throwing three interceptions in the AFC title game in 1998, Stewart has thrown 13 touchdown passes and 24 interceptions. In the last five games, he has one touchdown and eight interceptions.

Can you say, Mike Tomczak?

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NOW HOLD ON

He should have been a pitcher, known best for keeping runners close to first.

But no, he chose football, and though he’s not a holder for field goals or extra points, Bears’ rookie linebacker Warrick Holdman’s last name still applies in some situations.

Glyn Milburn returned a kick 68 yards for Chicago, but an official threw a flag at the feet of Holdman for you know what--holding--bringing the ball back to the Bears’ seven-yard line.

“I just have to live with it,” Holdman said.

The name?

No. The call. “I thought it was a shaky call.”

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SPEAKING OF UGLY AMERICANS

They do not open the parking lot gates in Green Bay until four hours before kickoff, but seven hours before Sunday’s start, cars were lined up outside Lambeau Field, apparently extending all the way to Minnesota.

Let the drinking begin.

Now it’s 6 p.m.--almost 10 hours and countless cases of beer later, and Favre has thrown the ball into the end zone--the outcome of the game turning on where it lands.

“I kept my head down and then I listened to the crowd,” Favre said. “When I heard the cheering, I knew we had it. Either that, or they were drunk.”

Or both.

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MARKETING CAMPAIGN

The Chargers have had trouble selling tickets, and when they don’t sell out, the city of San Diego has to make up the difference. A poor showing in the exhibition season cost the city something like $1.7 million, but now it appears the Chargers have come up with a gimmick to stimulate the locals.

Last season they had the No. 1 defense in the league and no one came to the games. Who cares if the other teams can’t score, getting only as many points as they need to leave San Diego 5-11 for the season?

This season’s approach is different, suggesting the following marketing campaign: “Who sets a record against the Chargers’ overrated, top-ranked defense this week?”

It’s great fun, and if you guessed Peyton Manning this week--you’re right.

Manning broke Johnny Unitas’ 32-year-old Colt record with 404 yards passing in only his 19th game in the NFL.

Next week . . . Elvis Grbac goes after Len Dawson’s mark of . . .

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WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING

“Last week we were blown out,” Giant Coach Jim Fassel said. “Our approach this week was better.”

Instead of losing by 29 points, the Giants lost by two.

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KNUTE SHANAHAN

Let’s hope Mike Shanahan’s pregame speeches to his team are better than his postgame remarks to the media. After falling to 0-2 in Kansas City, Shanahan said, “Now we’re going to find out what this team is made of.”

Never end a quote with a preposition, Coach.

After falling to 0-3 in Tampa, Shanahan said, “Now we’re going to find out what this team is made of.”

It’s not what it’s made of, but what it lacks: John Elway.