They Possess a Certain Intangible

John Crumpacker of the San Francisco Examiner takes an off-beat approach to today’s NFL draft. A sampling:

“Heaviest: Stockar McDougal, T, Oklahoma--361 pounds. ‘He’s a load-and-a-half,’ said Terry Donahue, the 49ers’ director of personnel. ‘He might be two loads.’

“Tallest: Todd Wade, T, Mississippi--6-8. His father and grandfather both played for Ole Miss, so in 2025 we should expect to see Todd’s 7-4 1/4 son lining up for the Rebels.

“Longest non-hyphenated surname: Ryan Johanningmeier, OL, Colorado. Good thing he’s a 310-pounder That name would never fit on the back of a little guy’s jersey.

“Crime wave quartet: Cedrick Killings, DT, Carson-Newman; T.J. Slaughter, LB. Southern Miss; Tramont Lawless, LB, Memphis, and Ainsley Battles, CB, Vanderbilt.”

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Trivia time: What do these former players have in common: Notre Dame’s Emil Sitko, St. Mary’s Herman Wedemeyer, and UCLA’s Donn Moomaw?

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Committed: Roman Karpoukhine, 32, a former Russian air force captain, makes his bullfighting debut Sunday in Barcelona, Spain.

“I will either triumph or be a complete failure and die as a torero,” he told the daily newspaper La Vanguardia. “But I can’t go back. The posters are done and it’s now or never.”

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Heavy stuff: A recent Associated Press story on the decision of Jimmie Hunter, a sophomore guard from Life University of Murietta, Ga., to turn pro, bore this headline: “Hunter Withdraws From Life, Will Enter NBA Draft.”

Comment from Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle: “You know, sometimes leaving school early is professional suicide.”

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Singh-ing his praises: Craig Kilborn of “The Late, Late Show” on CBS had this take on the Masters:

“Vijay Singh finished at three-under 69 for a three-stroke victory in the Masters golf tournament. MTV promptly issued him a special award for being the only VJ who ever amounted to anything.”

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Walk, don’t ride: Given the choice between riding an escalator or taking the stairs, 95% of people go for the ride, according to various studies on the subject. A Harvard Alumni Health Study shows that men who climbed at least 20 floors per week had a 20% lower risk of stroke and of death from all causes.

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Different breed: Jeff Gordon in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “The Atlanta Braves are dazzled by the hot start Andres ‘Big Cat’ Galarraga has enjoyed since making his comeback from cancer treatments.

“ ‘He’s more than a cat,’ first base coach Glenn Hubbard said. ‘He’s the Lion King.’ ”

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Trivia answer: They were all first-round draft choices of the Los Angeles Rams--and never played for the team.

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And finally: Keyshawn Johnson, on being traded to Tampa Bay:

“The media up there [New York] runs everyone out of town, but they didn’t run me out of town. The Jets ran me out of town. The New York writers are sick because they don’t have anything to write about anymore.”