Stadium Payments Make a Giant Debt

These are heady times in San Francisco, where gorgeous but privately financed Pacific Bell Park is so expensive that . . . it might never allow the Giants to compete in the National League West again.

Which works out great for Dodger fans.

When the novelty wears off at PBP, when Dusty Baker is manager of the Dodgers, when Barry Bonds is playing left field for the Yankees, when SoMa dries up, then Dodger fans will have a nice warm ballpark to go to for their midsummer weekenders.

So, SoCal would like to salute the good men and women of NorCal, who flew in the face of baseball’s economics and guaranteed themselves a 30-year mortgage’s worth of mediocrity.

As it turned out, that huge monthly nut wasn’t Kevin Mitchell after all.

And if regular-Joe Giant Fan can bury that image somewhere in his personal Willie McCovey Bay, be sure he can’t shake this one:

The Dodgers won the last game in San Francisco’s precious Candlestick Park and the first one at its shiny Pac Bell Park, and so they’ve left their mark at both places.

Fair exchange: One Giant fan was so desperate to witness the historic opener that he promised to paint a friend’s house in exchange for a ticket.

Wrote San Jose Mercury News columnist Bud Geracie: “The trade--a $4,000 job for a $23 ticket--could put [him] in line as the next Dodger GM.”

Obscurity or absurdity: The Giants’ home opener was a bit of a downer in the Bay Area, as expressed by Bruce Jenkins of the San Francisco Chronicle: “A sellout crowd came for the symphony yesterday, and they got a tuba solo. They wanted a masterpiece and they got a bizarre abstract from obscurity.”

Bet Kevin Elster’s never been called that before.

Jenkins continued: “At this stage, 24 hours into the ballpark’s existence, it’s the House That Kevin Built. He surely smells of garlic, so thoroughly does he own the place. Fans could spend years waiting to see a three-homer game from Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa or Jeff Bagwell in person. Yesterday, they got one from Kevin For-Pete’s-Sake Elster.”

If you can’t say something nice: And finally on that same subject, San Francisco Examiner columnist Ray Ratto wrote: “True, this may seem to be a rather spoilsporty way to look at the Giants’ most ballyhooed home opener in 42 years, since so many people went to such extraordinary lengths to make a good time of it. But there is that nagging problem of--well, how shall we put this nicely?

“OK, we can’t put it nicely, so we’ll just say it: The nagging problem of Losing To The Dodgers In the Home Opener Because A Guy Who Was Out Of Baseball Last Year And Was Negotiating To Open A Bar In Las Vegas With The Front Man For Hootie And The Blowfish Hit Three Home Runs For The First Time Since Little League.”

Makes up--a little--for that shot Joe Morgan hit, doesn’t it?

Negative Mo-mentum: Mo Vaughn’s ready to cast a yea vote for Bud Selig’s unbalanced schedule proposal.

He batted .150 (three for 20) last season against his former team, the Boston Red Sox, his worst average against an American League opponent. He labored against them again last weekend at Edison Field, where he had a single in 11 at-bats and only twice hit the ball out of the infield.

Flag day: Mark Grace, a graduate of Tustin High, was presented with his own pennant before a game at Wrigley Field this week, the kind of thing Cub officials do for employees who deserved better than the Cubs.

The pennant, with his name and uniform number (17) on it, flies over the ballpark’s roof.

Grace’s mom, Sharon, then threw out the ceremonial first pitch.

“Whatever you do, do not bounce it,” Grace told her.

She didn’t.

Mob roles: Do you think maybe Devil Ray managing general partner Vince Naimoli has gone a bit over the top with his protests about his “The Sopranos” portrayal?

In a spoof, the St. Petersburg Times wrote that the part of Naimoli in an upcoming movie on Devil Ray pitcher Jim Morris would be played by James Gandolfini, the head of a crime family on the HBO series.

An infuriated Naimoli ordered newspaper boxes removed from his ballpark.

He then threatened legal action, which he’ll probably get around to right after he deals with Meadow’s graduation, the foul-up with the airline tickets and that terrible bout with food poisoning.

(If you don’t get it, you don’t watch the show.)

Head games: Now that they have their new ballpark, city officials in Detroit fear Tiger Stadium will fall into neglect, and have considered turning the old place into a mall or something.

Uh, hello? A few coats of paint are all that is holding the place together.

Two words for the folks there: wrecking ball.

And hurry.

One Tiger fan recently told the Detroit Free-Press, “Women wouldn’t come to the ballpark because they wouldn’t use the restrooms.”

We’re no mall experts, but if women aren’t going to go . . .

He has a 50-50 chance: Why is Alex Rodriguez angry?

Despite 42 home runs and 109 runs batted in in only 129 games last season, he batted .261 after the All-Star break and .183 in September. That’s why.

The late-season meltdown motivated him in a ferocious off-season exercise program that has him thinking big, very big, in the most watched walk year in baseball.

“I don’t think 50-50 [home runs and stolen bases] are impossible,” he said.