La Russa Isn’t Brightest Star of This Bunch

Only three shortstops have started a major league game at age 18.

The players who meet that obscure standard are Alex Rodriguez, Robin Yount and Tony La Russa, currently the manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.

“That’s one of those real trivia ones,” La Russa said. “Two stars and a bum.”

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Trivia time: In 1968, USC had five players selected in the first round of the NFL draft. Who were they?

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The right way: Jerry Greene in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: “Here’s Rush Limbaugh during his test appearance in the booth for Monday Night Football: “Well, the morally questionable, left-handed quarterback falls back . . . No surprise there, right Al?

“Here comes the strong, burly defensive right end, who rushed right by the liberal left tackle and crushes the left-handed quarterback as America’s silent majority rises to its feet to sing the praises of all that’s right with the world!”

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And he did: Bill Russell of the Boston Celtics always wore a black suit during the playoffs, sometimes complementing it with a black cape.

When teammate K.C. Jones asked Russell why he chose that somber wardrobe, he replied: “I’m like a mortician. I come to bury the players I play against.”

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Say it isn’t so: Brace yourselves for this grim news: The Alexandria (La.) Warthogs of the Western Professional Hockey League will not compete next season because negotiations with prospective local buyers have failed.

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We can’t picture it: Morris Engelberg, executor of Joe DiMaggio’s estate, on his opposition to San Francisco naming something as pedestrian as a playground after the Yankee Clipper:

“The real legal problem in this area is how other athletes and celebrities can be affected if municipalities keep naming public facilities after them. Just picture a municipality naming a garbage dump after Dennis Rodman.”

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Obstacle course: That innovative hill in center field at Houston’s new Enron Field comes with a flagpole that’s in play.

“It’s certainly a new twist,” says Phillie center fielder Doug Glanville. “What’s next--an alligator pit?”

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Looking back: On this day in 1986, San Antonio set an NBA playoff record with fewest rebounds in a game, 18 against the Lakers.

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Trivia answer: Ron Yary, Mike Taylor, Tim Rossovich, Mike Hull and Earl McCullouch.

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And finally: Steve Hummer in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “From a videotape so fuzzy that the scene must have been captured by a passing military satellite, it appears that Bobby Knight was: a) grabbing a player as if he were a long-neck beer; b) checking him for swollen glands; or c) re-creating what his team does every year now in the NCAA tournament.”